Who's Who in the Parodyverse? Version 9.2 - the grey one

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Posted by The Hooded Hood (and Nats) present on April 21, 2001 at 18:02:30:

In Reply to: Who's Who in the Parodyverse? Version 9.1 (already) posted by Urk! Sorry Nats, but I'll have to put default text back to lightslategrey until I can figure a more readable default body text colour than grey. Here's the interim... on April 21, 2001 at 04:43:37:

Who’s Who in the Parodyverse?
Version 8.7

The Parodyverse was created from the Avengers Message Board at comicboards.com, where there was a 'great parody flood.' So great, that they all moved to Baron Zemo's Lair, which slowly evolved into our Parodyverse message board.

The point of the board is that it is a site for fan fiction parodies of comic books. Many of these stories take place in a shared continuity, the Parodyverse, where many of the posters have created superheroes of the same name as their internet handles and write of their adventures. Some people choose to tell largely serious stories, most are humorous.

And now, your Parodyverse encyclopaedia:

[Note: Principal poster characters are shown in blue, supporting characters are shown in green]

Link to the Where's Where of the Parodyverse companion directory.

Link to the Who's Who version 7 for reference to older stories (before Untold Tales #58, August 2000). This is useful for re-reading older stories as it features the then-present line-up and status quo ante.

The Lair Legion

The main heroes of the Parodyverse are a team called the Lair Legion, based on Parody Island just off Paradopolis (a New York spoof city). All the members of this team are posters. All the members of this team are posters (except Trickshot...kinda). The current line-up consists of Fin Fang Foom, Hatman, the Dark Knight, Sorceress, Nats, Ziles, Goldeneyed, Exile, CrazySugarFreakBoy!, Trickshot, and Donar. Some say this lineup is more serious than any previous one...I'm sure it is, but it's still humorous at the same time.

Fin Fang Foom (Andrew Dean), the leader of the new LL, is a dragon, based upon a comics character of the same name. Originally shipwrecked on Earth from the planet Makluos, the original ancient wyrm merged with the consciousness of young Andrew Dean to become the draconic crusader active today. He can shapechange and do all the usual draconic stuff. He uses both a humanoid dragon form and the full wyrm shape, and in the latter he is immensely powerful. He is one of the most professional of the heroes, and one that regularly takes on cases independently of the Legion (often with Dark Knight). Foom takes a lot of stick for his shyness around women, although he has been seen often recently in the company of actress Lania.

Hatman (Jay Boaz), deputy leader of the LL, gained the ability to take on the powers and abilities of any hat he wears after exposure to a radioactive drug containing the primal substance Serious Matter. Really. He mainly uses sports’ team caps to take on the abilities of Bulls, Steelers etc, using headpieces from his Hatility Belt. With the right hat he can be pretty powerful. He is the team nice guy, and this probably makes people underestimate his potential. Hatman is relatively young and naturally teams up with CSFB! (mimicking the Green Lantern/Flash relationship). He has an ongoing romance with the Sorceress (q.v.). More on Hatty and more still on the capped crusader

Donar (Donar Jones or Gavan Carstensen) is a Thor variant, the son of Oldman the Big Daddy and brother of Hoki, God or Goddess of Betrayal and Guile. With his enchanted baseball bat with a nail in it, Mjalcolm, Donar hails from the land of Ausgard, an antipodean version of Asgard. Donar speaks with a mangled Shakespearean speech, like Liefield’s Thor if Thor had a broad Australian accent. He is a little more down-to-earth than Marvel’s Thunder God, and he is well hard. He has very little patience and less tact, but he would defend his friends to the death. Donar’s mother is the Earth-Spirit Gail. Recently he has been reunited with his once love Freyda and discovered they have a son, Harlagaz. More on Donar and Even more on Donar

Dark Knight (crime reporter Greg Burch amongst other aliases), senior advisor to the team, is a Batman/Crow type character taken one step further going around hiding in shadowed corners and scaring the crap out of villains after the murder of his one true love by the Crying Clown. His membership of the LL is not public knowledge. DK is a mystery even to the other legionnaires, most of whom regard him with a little awe and some suspicion, especially since he now appears to be clinically dead. He is a good detective. He has a number of bits of indestructible equipment at his disposal, hidden in his Knightcave, including a Knightcar and a Knightjet. The Dark Knight is sometimes also the cosmic office-holder Chronicler of Stories (q.v.); this relationship has yet to be fully defined.

CrazySugarFreakBoy! (Dreamcatcher Kokopelli Foxglove) is a hyperactive college student who invented a silly suit which enhances his own sugar-powered athletic abilities. He has an encyclopaedic knowledge of comics and movies and a massive enthusiasm for the super-hero lifestyle. In fact he seems to live the comic books he loves and this perspective somehow keeps him alive. His mother, Meggan Foxxx (Melanie Hastings a.k.a. "Action Figure") is a radio-chat-show-hosting porn queen stripper. Meggan is devoted to her son and often narrates CSFB!'s adventures. His father is Louis Laughing Fox, a Native American shaman police officer. He's also a member of the Goofball Gauntlet (see attached note), and their former leader, before giving the position to the Lesbian LiberatorThe complicated history of the various CrazySugarFreakCharacters is explained in this CrazySugarFreakTimeline! in this CrazySugarFreak Whos Who version 3, in this account of CSFB!’s reformed criminal team The Goofball Gauntlet, and in this list of CSFB!’s Equipment. Then there’s some Notes on Meggan Foxxx. Finally, here are some notes on Glitch, a future CrazySugarHero autobot.

Goldeneyed (Bry Katz) has the ability to transport across time and space, and into other parallel universes. He’s a light-hearted hero who does the right thing because with great power comes… etc, but who hasn’t quite got it right yet and is misunderstood when he does. In his own adventures he is accompanied by his sidekick Frog-Man, who has constant need of his superpower of coming back from the dead. Frog-Man is currently far better known and more popular than G-Eyed himself. G-Eyed’s arch-foe is Dr Norm (Enormoidstein), a mad scientist. Goldeneyed is monitored by a mysterious group called The Observing Eye, whose role is to watch over the universe’s potentially most powerful beings. G-Eyed works at Lisa’s law firm, along with sexy co-worker (and current LL PR agent)
Lisette (q.v.) More on G-Eyed

Exile (Derek Foreman) is a mutant possessing energy-controlling abilities which also give him enhanced strength and speed, and the power of flight. After accidentally temporarily becoming Lord of the Dreary Dimension, a place of exile created by the gods, and has embarrassingly been gifted with a tribute slave in the form of the beautiful and brave Valeria of Carfax, who now acts as his housekeeper. Goldeneyed’s cousin, he is another alumni of the Observing Eye. Exile tends to be direct, almost in-your-face in his approach to problems, a good-hearted hothead. He and Goldeneyed share a third evil cousin, the sinister Bambi Bacall, the matter-manipulating Suicide Blonde More on Exile

Troia 215 is an Amazon school dropout who has become secretary/administrator (and sometimes member) of the Lair Legion. She is the daughter of the archvillain the Hooded Hood (q.v.) and the former (now deceased) Amazon queen Rigantona, and the twin sister of spiffy (q.v.). So far nobody has dared ask her for a coffee. She tends to giggle. Her Amazon school rival, Polypheme 1, is now also exiled to Man's World. She also has an alternative-universe self, the evil, continuity-warping Kumari, who may still be alive somewhere in the multiverse. More on the Amazon administrator

Trickshot (Carl Bastion) is an amazing archer who uses a variety of gimmicked shafts to fight crime. He is also the world’s biggest bigmouth. Formerly from another reality where he was a Legion member much earlier in their history, Tricky is actually a seasoned veteran crimefighter who is now re-establishing his reputation in his new world. One complication is that his this reality self was murdered, leaving behind a beautiful widow, masterspy Natalia Romanza. More on the irritating archer and yet more here.

the Sorceress (Whitney Darkness), was bred and trained to be a nature-controlling magic-wielder , a wise woman with gifts of transmutation and other magical abilities. Scion of an ancient line of sorceresses, she is the grand-daughter of the witch Hagatha Darkness, granddaughter of Sir Mumphrey Wilton (q.v.) and daughter of Xander the Improbable (q.v.) She is romantically linked with Hatman.

Ziles is a beautiful mood-altering alien thief exiled from her planet for untranslatable crimes. She wears a skin-tight silver suit which somehow conceals her equipment, including Relaxor Crème and a range of advanced stealth, sensory and burglary devices. Her robot servant is Roboti. Rumour has it that she's involved with Finny and/or DK, and likes tickling. Ask Finny about the 'shirt incident,' which got the tabloids going wild.

Nats (Bill Reed) is the new super-powered character on the block. The fiery haired, fiery-tempered flying supertype has a temporary job working as a delivery guy with Miss Framlicker of the Interdimensional Transportation Corporation, which takes him to all kinds of bizarre destinations across the Parodyverse. He's currently having dreams about a... stick... and he's ecstatic to be in the new LL.
More on Nats

Flapjack is the Lair Mansion’s butler, a mis-shapen and disgusting hunchback formerly in the service of the Hooded Hood and virtually every other master-criminal. His hobbies include sniffing Troia’s underwear and trying to photograph superheroines showering.Flapjack’s CV

Amy Racecar is the LL’s mechanic. She also has the power to heat her skin, with a speciality of frying eggs on her stomach. More on Racey

Lisette (Laurie Leyton) is the LL’s legal advisor. An intern at the lawfirm run by Lisa Waltz (q.v.) and Lisa’s sometime sidekick, Laurie is a rebellious rights activist, an advocate of alternative lifestyles, and the most interesting thing in the life of her law firm co-worker Bry Katz (Goldeneyed, q.v.)

Marie Murcheson is a banshee who haunts the Lair Mansion. She rarely manifests (except when G-Eyed is showering) unless supernatural evil threatens her home, and howls all night when a member of the Legion dies (she hiccups all night if they subsequently come back to life).

For the origins of the Lair Legion, read Lair Legion: Year One.

Former members of the Lair Legion include Jarvis (deceased, founder), NTU-150 (founder), Lisa (founder), spiffy (founder), Visionary, Banjoooo, Yo, Messenger (deceased), Starseed, Space Ghost (expelled), DarkHwk, Rocket Racoon (deceased), and Sersi. Probationary members who never made it to full membership include The Man Who Wasn’t There (transformed), Magnetic Techbird, and Avatar. All of these are described below.

The League of Regulars

The League of Regulars (more affectionately known as the LoR), is Paradopolis' second team. They were all originally members of the LL, before leaving to make room for the new crowd, and leaving Finny in charge. Donar is also a member of the LoR, pulling double-duty. spiffy (q.v.) is a member as well, but just by default. He makes no adventures with the team. This team is also very lazy, and doesn't answer their hotline, unless of course if Yo (q.v.) is by the phone. They operate out of either Visionary's condo, or Donar's castle. The LoR is Lisa, Visionary, NTU-150, Yo, Donar, spiffy (by law), and Cheryl, supported by their friends Tina, Asil, and Zebulon.

Lisa (Lisa L. Waltz), a defence attorney; the First Lady of the Lair Legion (even though she’s not in it right now) has the power to subpoena anybody to her presence. She uses a lash in combat. There are a great many jokes made at the expense of Lisa's allegedly infinite sexual capacity, but Lisa is also the most caring of the team and the first to want to help somebody in trouble. Most of the team would do anything for her. She has an indestructible ginger cat of disreputable character and gave birth to baby Christopher in February 2000.

Visionary is basically a normal, unpowered human who gets into terrible messes with superheroes. His most recent mess was being declared leader of the Lair Legion, which he resisted almost as strongly as the implication that he's a fake man, the android creation of Nazi scientist Dr Vishnar. He has a micro-robot companion called Fleabot. He is not too bright, but very fond of his (also real life) wife, Cheryl (q.v.), long-suffering former PR agent of the Lair Legion and the current PR agent of the LoR. Visionary is a superb "point of view" everyman character, with a dogged determination and a quiet indefatigability.

NTU-150 (Jaimie Bautista) wears high-tech full body (Iron Man style) battle armour to give him mobility after a crippling accident. He is the Lair Legion's technologist. He is polite, caring, and dangerous to be allowed near an arc-welder. There are a number of running jokes about his inventions going wrong or exploding. His girlfriend Tina Cabanez runs the charitable Bautista Foundation and until recently had telepathic powers. His lab assistant is the elf Zebulon, picked up from an early adventure.

Yo (occupying the human Dr Pilar) is an energy thought being from Yo-planet, a genderless, playful, childlike being who loves bunnies and dressing up as Zorro. S/he mangles English into a very distinctive speak pattern and terms most things cute or uncute. S/he has a simplistic approach to problems which is often effective. Yo is as powerful as Yo believes s/he is, with the gift to manifest whatever abilities are appropriate to the person Yo decides to be (pilot, teacher etc.). However there are limits to this ability for an individual of Yo's people; the entire of Yo-Planet united are powerful indeed. Yo is often associated with a cute purple thought bunny, Rabito. Yo in his/her own words

Cheryl, the Duchess of Lake Superior (sometimes described as the Goddess of HTML for her abilities with the language of webpages), is the wife of Visionary. Although originally an engineer she has become the long-suffering Public Relations Officer for first the Lair Legion and now the LoR. She remains the most sensible character in the Parodyverse – except when she wears her cat outfit.

spiffy (Mark Hopkins) who probably has no idea he's in the LoR, has a symbiotic fern attached to him which gives him mysterious, um, fern powers. Often given little respect, spiffy has a tendency to get entangled in the most difficult part of any mess. spiffy is a minor, and like all heterosexual juvenile males is therefore interested in girls he has difficulty getting. He is basically a nice guy who comes last. spiffy was killed a while back but was rescued from hell at the cost of the life of Hollywood V, an ancient, mysterious and ambiguous character. He recently learned that his adoptive parents were murdered by the assassin the Bone, whom he now seeks, and that his true father is the Hooded Hood (q.v.), whom he does not seek. He cannot believe that he has a hot sister like Troia. A standing joke is that spiffy is responsible for everything. spiffy is also associated with the Abandoned Legion (q.v.). He is currently, and presumably temporarily, mayor of most of the United States of America (except Paradopolis, which people seem to forget). More on spiffy

The Abandoned Legion

The AL is another team which operates out of GothaMetropolis York, across the river from Paradopolis. Its members are:

Cap, the team’s reluctant leader, a triangular-shield wielding crimefighter, who is reserved and sensitive in private life and a combat machine in battle. Cap has a penchant for giving people peanuts.

Paste Pot Pete (um, Peter?), glue-gun wielding adventurer, who may be somewhat unstable after a recent near-death injury. He hasn’t spoken since.

Cobra (Christine McBurney), an aggressive, combat-loving ninja martial artist whose instinct is to kill her opponents and whose main weapons are the banana gun and sink plunger. It has been hinted that the Cobra may be the last survivor of the ancient Egyptian Sect of Buto, and may even have inadvertently led to its downfall.

Hunter Victorious(Stephen Bloom), a precocious, brash but talented teenager who may be a new incarnation of the now-deceased Hollywood V (q.v.) and a whole lineage of other mysterious characters through history sharing the same initials. He manifests as yet undefined tactile control over matter and energy.

Banjooooo is king of the Sea Monkeys, those little creatures that are grown from crystal packets which are much advertised in comics and were genetically engineered by the Abhumans millennia ago to guard against the escape of the long-imprisoned Deviates. A former member of the Lair Legion, Banjoooo can grow to around Godzilla size, and also has a number of other abilities which his genetically-pliable form can evolve in line with his reason for being created. He is usually an easy-going fun-loving character, but can get touchy when his royalty isn’t acknowledged or when his ego is bruised. He’s a bit cocky and is likely to come up with one-liners at friends’ expenses. He and spiffy run a detective agency together. He is romantically involved with the human girl Elyse.

As mentioned above, spiffy is also associated with this team. Former members include Sorceress, Sersi (q.v.), Messenger (q.v.) and Hollywood V (q.v.) (the latter two are now deceased).

The JBH (Just a Bunch of Heroes)

The JBH is a relatively new team started by Amazing Guy. The membership is all of (writer) AG's most popular characters.

Amazing Guy (Scott Brunsen), a drafting student, has become Eggo, the Living Waffle’s Protector of the Universe, replacing the late, great Captain Marbles. He possesses (Quazar-like) energy-field creation and absorption powers. Although he is currently based in space, he has recently been active on earth along with his dairy-produce-controlling wife Macymom (Janeen Brunsen) and their super-powered children, the Amazing Bunch in Paradopolis. More on Amazing Guy

The other JBH members are, in no particular order, PhantomGhostGirl, Swift, Kid Produce, Pigeonman, PigeonWoman, Plantgirl, Little Guy and Jackie Rabbit.

Amazing Guy’s vast cast is described in Who’s Who: Infinity Crisis 1 – Narrator and Lurker, Who’s Who: Infinity Crisis 2 – Omnisoul, Trickshot, and Black Pantser, Who’s Who: Infinity Crisis 3 – Amazing Guy, Fluffy, and Trojan Horse, Who’s Who: Infinity Crisis 4 – The Lair Legion of Super Heroes (a futuristic version of LL), and The AG Scorecard

Other Heroes (who aren’t in teams)

Space Ghost was tossed out of the Legion because of his drink problem. Usually played for light relief comic drunk these days, Space Ghost's main weapon is his Spank Ray, although he has minor Gaaahhh! abilities under the tutelage of Starseed (q.v.). Space Ghost’s unique perspective, including his ability to be ten minutes behind a conversation or to make massive leaps of logic, and the ability to wander off into entirely parallel storylines, are actually important parts of his character. When sober SG is formidable. When drunk his is often pantsless. Space Ghost is also an occasional member of the Scourge of the BZL (q.v.). He has recently been mentioned as one of the Family of the Pointless (q.v.). He has spent many years living in the Lair Legion’s broom closet. He has spent many years living in the Lair Legion's broom closet. He still hangs around in the air conditioning ducts. He's too stupid to know he was fired.

DarkHwk (Zane) has an enchanted amulet which transfers him into a powerful, agile, flying android body with claws and forceblasts. He is a tryer, and he won't give in no matter what. He is sometimes a bit moody and gloomy, and is reluctant to allow even friends like NTU-150 and Yo to get close since the death of his brother. He was an occasional guest at the Lair Mansion and helps out in NTU-150's lab. However, at the moment his humanoid form lies in a coma, and a form similar to his armoured one appears to be on the rampage.More on DarkHwk and
more on DarkHwk’s History

Xander the Improbable, Master of the Mystic Crafts, is the Parodyverse’s current sorcerer supreme by default. He operates out of a seedy shop in the Hell’s Bathroom ghetto of Paradopolis. He is like a younger, grumpier Obi Wan Kenobi. He tends to shuffle about in dusty red robes, and has a stone hamster familiar (Medusa accident) called Harry. Xander has an extensive network of occult contacts such as Mr Limpqvist of the Interdimensional Transportation Corporation. He also seems to know lots of things about what is going on.

ManMan (Joe Pepper) was just a regular guy when he was covered in "experimental chemicals" (McDonalds secret sauce) and he was granted all the superpowers of a man! Along with his sentient talking knife of unknown and ancient origin, Knifey he fights crime in all its forms, no matter what the cost (although the white leather Elvis jumpsuit chafes in the most "intimate" of places). He is currently dating Stacy Gwen and caring for his Aunt April. His most persistent enemy is the bizarre Thighmaster. More on ManMan

Sir Mumphrey Wilton is a genial old English gentleman, the managing director of Wilton Enterprises, and the possessor of a pocketwatch which can manipulate time. Mumph has recently returned to heroics after a thirty year absence, and has hired Asil (q.v.) as his amanuensis. Mumphrey is courteous, stuffy, kindly, decent, and absolutely dependable. He looks to be in his late fifties; he is considerably older, and was a member of the League of Improbable Gentleman, an eighteenth century forerunner of the Lair Legion. Formally he is the Keeper of the Chronometer of Infinity, a minor cosmic office. More on Mumph

The Manga Shoggoth is a Lovecraftian creature of protoplasm from the dawn of time. Lurking in his cyclopean many-angled fortress in the icebound Antarctic, the Manga Shoggoth guards his prized collection of Japanese animation. He is rumoured to have a wife, Sh’Ron, and an offspring, Cthandra .

Dancer, (Sarah Shepherdson) is a mild-mannered waitress by day at Mr Papadopopolis’ Bean and Donut Coffee Bar in Paradopolis Plaza (and lives in a flat above the café), but secretly fights crime as the Probability Dancer, the dashing, confident, probability-altering herald of Galactivac the Living Death that Sucks (q.v.). She is quite possibly the nicest human in the Parodyverse and rarely fights her enemies when she can talk them out of being horrible instead. Her adversaries include Magenta St Evil, Holy Wedlock, and Carlsbad Carl the Albino Probability Cowboy. More on Shep

Dynamite Boy, (Jeremy "Jimmy" Wick) has the ability to explode at will , plus his Explosion Sense®, which senses hot dog vendors. His archnemesis is at Dr. Hammond Sterr, who was recently revealed to be a member of the notorious Heckfire Club (q.v.), themselves a front for the extraplanar parasite Hero Feeders (q.v.). He also fought a bunch of telekinetic frogs. He is currently a student at the Rocketman High School in Paradopolis. More on Dynamite Boy, Yet more on DB, and Notes of DB’s family.

Jack Rabbit (Jack Roberts), has the proportional skills and feet of a rabbit. His principle weapon is his carrot gun. He has a twin sister Jackie Rabbit who is a member of the JBH. More on Jack

Phantom, an as-yet-unexplained apparent avatar of death who has recently begun murdering criminals in Gothametropolis York. More on Phantom

Wiblik is a shape-changing alien who has yet to appear in the Parodyverse proper.

Wangmundo is a hairy monster troll of unknown, but ancient, age. His voice is cursed and can kill. Few know he exists. Only Xander, the Hooded Hood, and maybe a few cosmic guys are aware of his presence. He can take on human shape and walk abroad but does so rarely. He lives in the Parodopolis Municipal Library. He's also an expert on magic and transformations, and the like. And he has really big teeth.

Deathstar Druid has shown up in numerous round robins and cameo appearances. Little is known about him. What we do know is that he was created from Skree tech on the moon, and sent to Earth. He has encountered several heroes, but he has the strange power to be forgotten about. This might be a retcon by the Hooded Hood until DD can join the Parodyverse properly.

Visible Boy (Glenn Ross) is, um, a boy that is visible. He can be visible to some, invisible to others. He has great agility, he's able to slip into any crowd and be lost, he can fly, and he can shoot little spikey lasers that taste like bananas from V on shirt. More on Visible Boy and his cast

dull thud (Davie) is a sound technician in the musical underground of Paradopolis. His own powers of vertically teleporting and falling any distance without harm are eclipsed by those of Cressida, the telepathic mutant tapeworm who lives in his stomach and advises him. dull thud has been an occasional member of Captain Astounding’s group of heroes. More on thuddy

Semi-Retired and Inactive Characters

Starseed (Manuel) is the master of the force-like Gaaahhh! power, released by shouting "Gaaahhh!" He transforms into a purple-bubbled energy character in combat. He's somewhere between Luke Skywalker and Bruce Lee. He is a very powerful character with a relatively short fuse. He's one of the characters most likely to complain if people aren't being professional and he's very proud of League tradition. On the other hand he likes a joke and he's definitely "one of the boys". He is currently off-planet, adjusting to reaching an new level of Gah! mastery. He often associates with Space Ghost, another Gah! disciple. There is (or perhaps was, since we haven't heard of them for a while) an order of Gah! Acolytes. There are also followers of the Dark Side of the Gah!, led by the sinister, hissing Dirth Vortex who recently fought the LL.

Baron Heinrich Zemo, a hideously-scarred and therefore masked archcriminal Nazi mastermind, plots to rule mankind from his well-known secret castle. His wife Heike is frozen in a slab of ice and many of his plots are based around her rejuvenation. He is served by a band of supervillians called the Scourge of the BZL(see below) remain at his beck and call. Many of these characters are also occasional posters or have been at some time. Zemo is also occasionally served by other minions such as his genetically-created sonMillenium Bug , the nightmare-haunting Dream Demon, the possessed Kelsey Grammar Hellfrasier and the Nazi scientist Dr Vishnar. Zemo and nearly all of his followers (and even his castle) have mysteriously vanished. Zemo's wayward artificial daughter Contessa Imke Ilse Zemo (Zemette) was last seen entering the Dimensional Vortex where the Hero Feeders (q.v.) lurk..

The Scourge of Baron Zemo's Lair are a team of super-villains kept on retainer by Zemo. They include Pegasus, the Late Great Donald Blake, The Man Who Wasn't There, Venom, Wonderbooster, Substitute Grim Reaper, Jam, and Uatu. More on the Scourge More recently a newer, possibly temporary, version of the Scourge has also been active. All the Scourge but Pegasus are thought to have vanished with Zemo.More on the New Scourge

Avatar (Al Vaetar) is a biologically-armoured blue-skinned noseless ex-minion of the Parody Master (q.v) wielding an Avatar-Sword and possessing the gifts of flight and intangibility. Effectively a newly self-determining entity, Avatar spent some time with the Lair Legion and slowly learned humanity. He was last seen as the new Dread Lord of the Dreary Dimension, a distant other reality.More on Avatar

Sersi is an Austernal (an Australian Eternal, a race of advanced super-powered beings, transplanted into the outback). She has the ability to manipulate matter and change one thing into another, as well as being ageless, super-strong, and almost indestructible. More importantly Sersi is a party girl with a keen fashion sense and an opera singer's ego. She is not a person to tick off. In some stories her clothes fall off a lot. Sersi has been absent from the Parodyverse in recent months but she always seems to make cameo appearances, and since she’s been around for a long time she’s often met in time-travel stories.

Pierson's Porter is an exiled alien from the sinister race of Puppeteers, abandoned on Earth after the death of his master (Pierson) and the collapse of the Puppeteers' plans for the moon. PP, already outcast as an inferior in his own society, became intrigued by humans and armed with a series of high-tech alien gadgets is learning about life on Earth; after his romance with the villainess Dr Moo (q.v.) ended and he had been elected Mayor of Paradopolis he mysteriously vanished. More on PP

The Grim Reaper is an extradimensional entity chosen by the mysterious Void Spectre to intervene in various realities from infernal invasion by conquering those worlds. He became active in the Parodyverse, based in his lunar fortress, until he too mysteriously vanished. He should not be confused with the substitute Grim Reaper in the Scourge of the BZL (q.v.)More on Reaper

Lee O’Hannaghan (or something) is a hard-boiled former FBI forensics specialist turned private detective who has recently been swept into the world of superhero mysteries.

Infrequent Aardvark is a physical manifestation and avatar of the principal of Loonacy which has incarnated in the Parodyverse to rectify a cosmic imbalance. What this means is yet to be revealed.

Shifter is an unexplained character who occasionally appears to use his control of the very strands of reality it self. As a result, his power causes the outline of his very form to shift, blur and waver. This distortion makes him nearly impossible to hit and, even more so, detect. He can "shift" realities. He has not appeared for a considerable time, and his role within the Parodyverse remains nebulous. More on Shifter

A number of characters have not been seen since Paradopolis survived being kidnapped to an alien planet, and may or may not still be around. These include:

Saint, (Kyle Runner) received enhanced physical abilities and the power to merge into smoke, fog, or steam after an accident with a VR program, 100,00+ volts of electricity, and some holo-particles. These days he gets his orders via disconnected telephone from the mysterious Maverick, who works for a yet more mysterious government agency. And according to real life Exile, he may wish to become the Silent Saint.

The Green Ninja is a recent addition to the crimefighters of Paradopolis and Gothametropolis. Little is yet known about him.

Paris Stavanger is an alien martial arts specialist whose purpose on Earth remains as yet unrevealed. More on Stavenger

Lynx, a vigilante survivor of the mysterious "Project Apothecary" for an American NSA operation. More on Lynx

Currently Dead Characters

Jarvis, (Tim Butelier) a butler, former leader of the Lair Legion, and currently dead (although it might take a while for a few storylines to catch up with this); a dashing young man trained by aliens in their attempt to breed warrior-slaves on Earth, and imbued with telekinesis, teleportation and other powers. In character he was quick on the uptake, responsible, and heroic, but with a temper and a mean streak if he’s irritated. Jarvis the poster got married, and real Jarvis’ wife Melissa was dragged into the writings as fictional Jarvis’ widow. Melissa gained probability-altering abilities from Galactivac (see below) and was currently apprenticed to the witch Hagatha Darkness, but these powers have now been passed to Dancer and Melissa has retired.

Hollywood V appeared as an old, staff-wielding magus. Acting as both hero and villain at different times he was instrumental in sending spiffy to Hell and later gave up his life to rescue the fern-wielder. HV may have been the Lord of Hell, forced to return to his demesne. A number of equally mysterious HV figures have appeared throughout history, such as Hastings Vernal in the late nineteenth century, and of course Hunter Victorious in the present.

Rocket Racoon was a racoon with a rocket pack, emissary of the, um, the Racoon People. A swashbuckling racoon, and spent a lot of time trying to get close to Sersi. He was apparently killed and eaten in his last adventure, but keeps popping back for encore performances

Messenger was apparently the last of an ancient line of fallen angelic envoys (with a postal motif). Equipped with letters which are razor-tipped, exploding, etc., the postman's former wise-cracking acrobat façade fell away after the death of his lover Poisyn to reveal a shadowy and murderous borderline-insane vigilante who was hunted by the law for his serial killings of criminals. It was prophesied that he carried "the Armageddon Factor" which will bring all life in the universe to an end when he died. Messenger’s greatest enemies included Mailman, Disco Hitler, and the Puritan, who are all dead, and the mysterious and diabolical Mr Lucifer. More on the postman

The Falcon (Joe Wilson) a.k.a. Super-Falc, Metal Super Falcon, Falco, etc. inherited and adapted a flying armour to include razor-sharp wingtips and missile-firing capacity. He operated out of the Hell's Bathroom slums of Paradopolis, and was drafted as an operative of SPUD, the Super-menace Principal Undercover Directorate (q.v.). However, was is actually an amalgam of several different super-types, including the heroic Falcon, the saintly Angelimon, and the villainous Captain Canuck. He died after being sucked into a bizarre and nightmarish future. More on Falcon

The Rogues Gallery

Some posters prefer to be villains. The regular posters who take this role are:

The Hooded Hood (Ioldobaoth Winkelweald) is a resident at Herringcarp Asylum, from which he plans his own domination of the multiverse. The Hood's power it to "retcon", a comics fan's usually derisive term for a comics writer who rewrites or writes off other older stories which don't suit his own artistic vision. Effectively the Hood can make small changes in past continuity to affect the present. The Hood is obsessed with forging the continuity of the Parodyverse into "a single pristine whole" which he controls. He never lies. The cowled crime czar has occasionally used minions, the Purveyors of Peril (q.v.), He is also attended by the mysterious Fearwalker. The Hooded Hood worked his way through a list of major powers he needed to irritate as part of some grand celestial plan for multiversal domination, died to further his goals, got better, and is currently off plotting something complicated and cosmic as usual. The Hood’s complicated family includes his son spiffy and his daughter Troia 215. More on the Hooded Hood and the Purveyors of Peril

The diabolical Dr Moo (Daio Waltz), a cow-masked bio-engineer villainess with the ability to control dairy products, is actually Lisa’s older sister. Dr Moo sometimes works out of Zemo's castle labs (and is an occasional member of the Scourge of the BZL) and has a pet female rat called Davidowicz who has manifested a number of human-like traits including the ability to take photographs and talk. More on Davidowicz

Chronic is a wannabe supervillain with an indestructible Satanic telepathic guitar called Steve. His strength and healing powers are said to be drug-fuelled. He has an intense and unexplained hatred of Troia 215. More on Chronic

Evil Monkey is, well, this monkey who is really evil. Or at least really annoying.

Non-poster recurring villains include:

The Purveyors of Peril, a collection of some of the nastiest villains on the planet, who nominally work for the Hooded Hood but also freelance. Their ever-changing membership currently includes VelcroVixen, the appalling Appendage Man (q.v.), Gromm, the Living Flatulence (q.v.), Indigo Impostor, PsychoAcidPervGirl!, HeadCase, Rottweiler and the Terrier (q.v.), Huntingjustice Deathmarrow (q.v.) Anvil Man (q.v.), Professor Manyarms, Hellfrasier, General Roxx-Hoff, Gamona the Assassin, Onslaughter, Dr Loveray, Savagetooth, Spacewarped, Razor Ballerina, Voodoo Vicar, Huntmaster, and Suicide Blonde (q.v.), and others.

HERPES (the Hero Elimination Revenge Project Extermination Squad), a bucket-headed band of high-tech criminals who dream of a secret world empire. Their motto is, "Hail HERPES! Apply Penicillin and another rash shall come forth within six weeks!" they are led by Count Wolfgang Fokker, a monocle-wearing Teutonic villain.

Akiko Masamuneis Head of the Parodyverse's organised crime cartel, and of the Yakuza mob specifically, Masamune is somewhere between an ally and an adversary of the Lair Legion. Like much of the population of Mangatown, she has large eyes and a small nose. Unlike most anyone, she has a tendency to dress entirely in pink, just because she's powerful enough to do so.

The Apostate is a villain with the power to alter the beliefs of others, the Apostate is a dangerous adversary of the LL, and Visionary and Yo especially. The source of his hatred of Vizh, and his admiration of Cheryl, seems to be the belief that Visionary's life was meant for him. Where he got this idea has yet to be revealed.

Wilbur Parody, founder of Paradopolis and arch-manipulator of the destiny of the Parodyverse. The only being to have ever held all three offices of Shaper of Worlds (q.v.), Chronicler of Stories (q.v.) and Destroyer of Tales (q.v.) he preserved his knowledge in three Books of Prophesy which he later used to prepare the way for his as-yet-unrevealed masterplan for the heroes of the Parodyverse.

The incredible Yurt (Vlastimock Bogoff), was once a humble glorious worker in the People’s Potato Collective, Commieslavia, before a radioactive accident gave him the proportional strength and intelligence of a small peasant hut. He’s basically a twenty foot high pile of indestructible rocks. The stupider he gets the stronger he gets. More on the Yurt

Erskine Blofish, the bald headed, hamster loving master of the terrorist organisation B.A.L.D. was the one who hired the Confiscator to off Zemo's wife after the two had an unpleasant brush with one another. Blofish later got his head ripped off by Samhain (according to DK it survived) and was thrown into Zemo's castle, later to be rescued by Membraine. Blofish's head was later put on a robot body where it plans and plots today.

The Devil Doctor is an undead Makluan dragon, the geneticist responsible for unlocking the shapeshifting abilities of his people. As such he has engineered in them the vulnerability to be possessed by his undead spirit. After the Makluans refused his rulership he called down Galactivac, the Living Death that Sucks (q.v.) to destroy their world. The Devil Doctor enjoys taking the identity of an inscrutable Oriental mandarin. A genius with chemicals, poisons, and mutations, the Devil Doctor commands a fanatical following of biologically enhanced ninjas, bizarre monsters, and other Fu Manchu trappings. He is responsible for the creation of villains such as Appendage Man and Rottweiler and the Terrier.

The Lynchpin of Crime is the fat, bald crimeboss of Gothametropolis. Above the law he rules the criminal underworld with a pudgy grip of iron.

Peter von Doom is a villainous amalgam of Dr. Doom and Spider-Man. He's, um, evil, was the LL's first enemy, and is somewhere out there now. Waaay out there. He is served by his minion, The Minion.

Roni Y. Avis claims to be the innovator of electronic spam, Avis built an empire out of pyramid schemes and other junk mail. A surprisingly lucrative field, Avis quickly became a multi-billionaire largely due to his complete lack of morals. He tends to accidentally poke himself with the steel hook which replaces the hand Zemo once chopped off. While socially inept to the extreme (like most billionaire geeks), Avis has a sly mind for scams and illicit dealings. His buffoonish exterior hides the mind, heart and soul of a truly exploitative weasel.

Dirth Vortex, master of the Dark Side of the Gaaahhhh!, a tattooed, asthma-breathing warlord, works his mystic plots and leads his acolytes in preparation for some unspecified upcoming event where he intends to be on the winning side.

The Little Sisters of Discipline, led by Mother Whipcord, are a devastatingly kinky group of sado-nuns who kidnap children to train in their order. Lisa and Moo are two such alumni.

The Skree Empire is a fallen intergalactic militaristic race, led by The Supreme Interference, a manipulative supercomputer amalgam of the brain patterns of long-dead Skree. Other Skree that have troubled our heroes include Commander Rox-Hoff of the Fifth Skree Armada, and Dronon, the Public Accoster. The Skree are ancestral enemies of the shape-shifting Skunks.

VelcroVixen (Vicki Vee) is a svelte, supervillainous deputy-leader, known for her fetishwear and athletic abilities. For more details, see the Purveyors of Peril.

Quake is a villain from the future who terrorised the descendants of the Lair Legion before finding his way to our time. Quake is a very tall, muscular man dressed in a black shirt, black pants, black gloves, and black boots and mask. He has glowing eyes. He’s super strong, can blast heat and energy beams from his eyes and hands, and can project sonic sound waves at his opponents. He also has a nasty temper and kicked Donar’s ass, so he deserves credit!! He also has a knife throwing, tuxedo wearing henchman called Jack Knife.

The Obliterator is a giant alien organic/robot being who has battled the Legion many times. Though he often seems loud, foolish, and oafish, the Obliterator is actually very smart and has knowledge and access to advanced technology, making him a very formidable
foe to the Lair Legion and the residents of the Parodyverse. There are indications that the Obliterator is an important, ancient and powerful being of cosmic significance, who was condemned to his current existence after betraying the Celestian Space Robots (q.v.). More on the Obliterator

The League of Losers a.k.a the Frightsome Four are a quartet of mercenary supervillains. They are: English Man the sophisticated but often foolish leader of the group, dressed in a blue suit and bowler and has monocle. Obviously he's English, and carries a cane around that projects a spike from the bottom and an umbrella that projects poison gas. Marker Man wears in orange armour, carries explosive crayons around and likes to colour people with markers (don't ask...). Garbage Burner is a bald fat slob who wears a gray garbage man uniform and hat, and sets things on fire with a set of flame throwers resembling Pyro's (except he doesn't have a silly fire tank on his back). And Dr. Teeth is an insane dentist who uses dentist tools as weapons. He is a total psycho. Teeth dresses in a white lab coat and wears one of those straps with the reflective spheres attached to them on his head.

The Confiscator is a professional assassin. Clad in dark padded battlesuit, strong and usually with concussion grenades strapped across his chest armour, the Confiscator also carries a laser pistol with him at all times and has other artillery to work with as well, depending on the importance of the job he takes on. His performance level depends on how much he gets paid. He is completely covered and hence no one knows what he looks like. His real name and past are also mysteries. Amongst his other achievements, he shot Baron Zemo’s wife Heike.

Anvil Man is an rusty-armoured demolitions expert. Almost invulnerable and with Donar-class strength, he carries much armament and has the ability to make things detonate.

Appendage Man (Milton Freebish) is a genetically-spawned monster with the ability to manifest any number of large and disgusting appendages. He has previously battled Foom, Lisa, and Cobra. For more details see the entry for the Purveyors of Peril.

Rottweiler and the Terrier are the mutated results of an experiment on security guard "Frothing" Jimmy Dougall, and now form large and small psychopathic lycanthropes respectively. They particularly hate Messenger. For more details see the entry for the Purveyors of Peril.

The Captor is a professional hunter who has killed hundreds of dangerous animals, including tigers, bears, snakes, and genetically altered mutants. Regarded as the best hunter in the Parodyverse because of his persistence and reputation of never failing to capture his foe in a hunt, sinister by nature, the Captor’s trademark weapon is a gun that launches grenades that explode upon hitting their target, unleashing nearly unbreakable black coils that wrap around the target and send electric shocks through it to render it unconscious. To match his name, the Captor dresses in old fashioned hunting attire, including a pith helmet covering his bald head, khaki pants and shirt, and black boots. He has a hunting scar on his cheek.

Gromm, the Living Flatulence is one of the last surviving Deviates, one of the species created by the cosmic Celestians (see below). He is basically a terrible, powerful, smell, with caustic and toxic properties. Banjoooo and his Sea Monkey race were created to battle him and his comrades. For more details see the Purveyors of Peril entry.

The Slimy Slaver Lovetoad of Frammistat Eight is an intergalactic slaver. His name says it all really.

The Birthday Bandit is an improbable villain who tries to steal heroes’ powers by stealing their birthdays.

Turbo Treesloth is a rocket-powered Treesloth. Honestly. More details in the Purveyors of Peril entry.

Argh!Yle, Evillest of Socks claims to be a CrazySugarFreakBoy! villain. I shouldn’t be surprised.

Rodney, the Patronising Git, is an English post-supervillain with the ability to patronise people so much it hurts.

HuntingJustice DeathMarrow is a gun and blade-wielding barely-clad macho woman in the Liefield tradition, whose grudge against the Lair Legion in general and Trickshot in particular is derived from not being offered a place in their ranks.

Proctology are a super-villain team consisting of Swingy, Master of the Swinging Arts, the Living Statement!, Pudu Lad, Star-Fish, and the undead Mr Ed. Ask spiffy.

The Outcasts are a band of sinister sewer-dwelling cannibals led by the bizarre Sgt Snail. Other members include The Human Grenade, Oaf, Dung Beetle, the Unpossible Man, The Gunsman, Demon Fish, the Man with Two Chins, Devo, and Man-Hamster . More on the Outcasts

The House of Camellia are dark faeries led by their queen Camellia (naturally) who run their business of glamour and drugs from the exclusive waterfront nightclub the Willow, managed by Mr Oxalis. They are sometimes allied with Mahssus, a she-troll under the Englehart Bridge. More on the Fey

Rape Ape is more or less what his name implies. Ask Kirk Boxleitner. More on the Rape Ape

Currently Dead Villains

Dark Thugos, Tyrant of the Sol Empire, master of the Entropy Eyebeams, is the craggy-countanced alternate-reality son of the Hooded Hood and brother to the equally-sinister Kumari. After being forced from his original reality, Thugos conquered a sizeable portion of the prime Parodyverse, including the Skree Empire (q.v.). His agents include Suicide Blonde , the alien killer Onslaughter, Colonel Destiny and the Destiny Carnival (Dr Loveray, Enormous Irma, Mystic Morgana, the Mirror Murder, Endgame, Hotstuff, Vasto the Wonder Frog etc.) and HuntingJustice DeathMarrow, along with a cast of thousands of undead, necro-priests, and stormtroopers. He is a worshipper of Death (q.v.) (who doesn’t fancy him).

Magnetic Techbird is a mutant terrorist (and, like virtually all the Parodyverse’s poster villains, a former Lair Legion candidate) with abilities to control magnetism, create solid-sound constructs via a mechanical vocal carapace, and manipulate technology. He wears a red and purple costume and has long blonde, red, and white hair. MT is really an anti-hero, a rebel without a cause, and is as likely to do good as ill. He is desperately unlucky with women. He is currently presumed dead.More on Magnetic Techbird

Membraine was a green skinned, bald headed, red eyed mutant created by Zemo and some scientist. When Membraine was brought to life, he was very dull witted. Somehow his mind evolved and turned Membraine into a genius. Membraine escaped from Zemo's castle and decided to destroy the human race, and went to Europe to destroy Zemo and his army as he hated his creator for making him look so ugly. Creating an army that resembled himself with a cloning machine he took control of Zemo's empire. Just before he could kill Zemo, however, explosives in his castle went off and he was crushed by stone and Zemo's throne. More on Membraine

Hämmerblade is an alternate universe variant of Donar, but with much more nicely coiffured hair. For more details see the Purveyors of Peril entry.

Partycrasher is a renegade Austernal, with the special additional ability of grasping women with his prehensile chest hair. For more details see the Purveyors of Peril entry.

Mefrothto, Prince of Fibs, one of the demon-lords of the Abyssal Depths. Amongst his other damned souls he tormented the Hooded Hood’s lost teddy bear, Pooty.

The League of Irregulars or the Anti-League was a force gathered from various realities and lead by the evil Anti-Jarvis, whose ambition was to conquer the multi-verse. Not truly opposites of their Parodyverse counterparts, but merely variations on them. An early challenge for the League of Regulars who became the Lair Legion. More on the League of Irregulars

The Sidekicks

A set of distinctly dodgy sidekicks have occasionally appeared to plague the Lair Legion. Most of them are currently wandering around as the cutting-edge-cool New Battlers. They include L’il Buttie (Jarvis), Wormlad and Wormbait (Fin Fang Foom), E-Male (Messenger), the ever-hungry Hat Kid (Hatman), Fashion Accessory (Sersi), Boy Wonder (Dark Knight) andThunderstroke (Donar). Also somewhere out there is Zemo’s cloned daughter, Contessa Imke Ilsa Zemo, or Zemette. Lisette is a former member.

And while we're on bizarre alternative Legions, Space Ghost insists that there is also a Parodyverse 2, where the Lair League, an octogenarian organisation begun in World War II is to the Lair Legion, as the Justice League is to the Justice Society. The Lair League consists of Jarvis-2,Lisa-2, Dr.Chronicler, the Shaper, Sea Monkey, Dragon Man, Space Ghost-2, and many others. More on Space Ghost’s Parallel Parodyverses

The The Cosmic Characters

The Chronicler of Stories is a celestial office bestowed upon one who monitors and records the events of the Parodyverse. The current Chronicler is the erstwhile Dark Knight, and somehow moonlights as him in a way as not yet revealed.

The Shaper of Worlds was a poster called Carrington, but after his long absence the office was handed to a new, female incumbent once called Jury. The Shaper's role is to initiate new narrative strands in the many parallel timelines of the Parodyverse. The job also seems to involve a lot of talking ravens of destiny.

Samhain, Destroyer of Stories, is the third cosmic office-holder, charged with bringing all things to an end. Samhain has fought the Lair Legion on several occasions. After his recent apparent destruction there may be a new holder of the office.

The Parody Master is a sort of omnipotent villain who is probably the most powerful being around in the regular Parodyverse; his role within the cosmic order remains unexplained, but he has been summoned to uphold the edicts of the Triumverate and the Celestian Space Robots (q.v.). However, he also operates independently, and tend to cruelty and tyranny. Different entities assume the role of Parody Master at different times, which may explain his widely-varying levels of power and competence.

The Celestian Space Robots are mile-high incomprehensible and nigh-omnipotent entities tasked with maintaining the mechanisms of the Parodyverse by their unknown creators. They never speak, but creatures drawing near them may be overwhelmed by the sheer power of their massive thoughts. The entire LL once managed to chip a small dint in one of the Space Robot’s boots.

The Family of the Pointless are powerful anthropomorphic representations of fundamental forces in the Parodyverse. They are Coincidence, Lusting, Whinging, Glamour, Death, Temporary Death, and Space Ghost. Common Sense has abandoned his office.

Galactivac, the Living Death that Sucks, is a planet-hoovering, world-cleansing entity of immense power which moves across the galaxy sucking planets bare of all life. Galactivac’s former herald was the now deceased Crimson Cyclist. His new herald is allegedly the Probability Dancer.

Blackhurt, Prince of Fibs, one of the demon-lords of the Abyssal Depths, son of Mefrothto. His hobbies include giving pain, destroying all that is good, and damning people to eternal perdition. Oh, and philately.

The Hero Feeders are parasitic entities which inhabit the interplanar vortex and gnaw on the very narrative strands which make up the Parodyverse. In short, they feed on legends and can devour a hero and all memory of them. The Hero feeders sometimes creep into the Parodyverse proper, taking on human shapes to indulge in their hedonistic revels. Most recently they have manifested as the Heckfire Club, and exclusive and powerful gentlemans’ association in Paradopolis’ ritzy Pierce Heights. Inner circle members include Simonides Slaughter, the Black Emperor, Anne Salem, the White Empress, Frederick Scarfe and Professor Hammond Stein.

Frightmare is the Lord of Bad Dreams who sometimes attacks heroes while they sleep.

The Paradox Stranger is an enigmatic meddler in the affairs of the Parodyverse to the irritation of many cosmic powers. Amongst other things he is responsible for the various imitations of the Lair Legion dotted throughout history.

Supporting Characters

There are far too many incidental characters to list anything like all of them. Apart from the various supporting cast mentioned above, one or two of the other people who keep popping up are:

HALLIE is an artificial intelligence originally created by Zemo. Following the incident with the Japanese, Hallie took over control of Virtual Zemo's mainframe and with it his Virtual world. Since then she has been relocated to LL headquarters where she acts as their occasional resident computer. She is closest to NTU, with who she shares a playfully adversarial relationship. Using Virtual Zemo's movie gun, she can pass objects and people back and forth between the Parodyverse and the Virtual world.

EDWIN, created by NTU-150, is the LL's new computer personality. He looks like Edwin Jarvis, from Avengers fame. That was CSFB!'s fault. He can do all the things HALLIE can do, only Finny feels better because this guy's male. His full origin has yet to be revealed.

Dan Drury, Agent of SPUD (Super-menace Principal Undercover Directorate) , a tough-talkin’ hard-cussin’ cigar-chompin’ ornery one-eyed sonofab*tch what don’t take no crap from no turkey-smoochin’ government desk jockeys and gets the job done. SPUD has a massive helicarrier headquarters and the mission of protecting the planet.

Asil Ashling is a cloned version of Lisa created by Dr Moo and possesses the ability to become any age. Innocent and devoted to Visionary, Asil has latterly been serving as Mumphrey’s amanuensis.

Caveguy is a savage caveguy. He says "Hooga!" a lot. Recently he may have become Lord of the Savage Park.

Elsqueevio is the Greek god of small waters. He sometimes hangs around with Banjooooo or spiffy. He is enraged by the colour purple and can fight his own weight in beavers.

Con Johnstantine is a trenchcoat-swathed smooth talking and mysterious Englishman who appears to have occult connections and a knack of getting people into trouble.

Herbert P. Garrick is the Presidential Advisor on Superheroes. He is rabidly opposed to superheroes, so that doesn’t help really. Garrick is the man who controls the robotic Sentinoids, hero-hunting automatons.

Yi is a pure thought being from Yo-Planet. S/he is most often encountered in the Happy Place, being the sworn protector of that plane of existence.

J. James Jerkson is the publisher of the Daily Trombone, the second best selling newspaper in Paradopolis (after the Paradopolis Times). He is a cigar-chomping, hero-hating, self-aggrandising loudmouth.

Ruby Waver, is a fast-healing, somewhat sleazy distant cousin of Sorceress’ and a relative of the actress Lania.More on Ruby

Commisioner Don Graham is the ageing but honest Paradopolis Chief of Police.

Reverend Mac Fleetwood runs the Zero Street Mission in Hell’s Bathroom.

And Finally…

A number of stories set in other times have been told. Characters from other eras include The League of Improbable Gentlemen (18th Century),
the World War II heroes, the Lair Knights (Arthurian), and the Lair Legion of Super Heroes (the future).

We also should have entries for the following people, but I haven’t any coherent notes on them: Canadian Nightmare, Gurl (who is banned from the board), and Crazy Penguin Lady .

Having survived all that you might now want to attempt Jarvis' History of the Parodyverse or take a look at the (now in-need-of-updating) plans for the Lair Mansion. Or, if you're in a writing mood, there's always Hatman's list of common cognomens for BZL characters.

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Links and More:

Heartily recommended is Troia’s BZL Links Page

I haven't had time (or the skill) to hot-link yet to the original Character Summaries bit of the BZL archives, but they're also worth a look.

Other interesting BZL-related sites include:

Banjooooo and spiffy's BZL Archive

Old In-Continuity Stories

The Character Pictures Gallery

Visionary's Condo

Dancer's Diner

DarkHwk's Homepage

Pierson's Porter's Homepage