The Where's Where of the Parodyverse version 3.5 @ 19th June '03|
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The Where's Where of the Parodyverse
version 3.5 @ 19th June 2003
This is the companion volume to the Who's Who of the Parodyverse which is occasionally up to date about those prominent personalities people have bothered to tell me about. As usual it doesn't pretend to be complete, and depends upon people contributing their own recollections to flesh it out.
Fast Reference: Go to the Main Cities, Other Cities, Other Places, the Outer Space, and Other Dimensions.
Cities of the Parodyverse:
Paradopolis or Parodiopolis (or other variants - I think it's to do wit' th' local accent, yeah?), "the big banana", is the largest city on the eastern seaboard of the United States of America. It's roughly where New York is in our world, occupying a large island and the area south on the mainland. North of the North River is Gothametropolis York, of which more later.
Original version of this map and poster comments
Paradopolis started life as a little settlement back in the days of the early settlers, but it became an major administrative and economic centre after it was rebuilt (and renamed) by millionaire Wilbur Parody in the 1860's. Much of it's classical and gothic architecture was designed by the famous architect Leyland Reed. It has a large and gothic cathedral (still a bit scorch marked from the time NTU-150 teleported it to hell), a central green space called Off-Central Park , the PhantomHawk memorial hospital, the Daily Trombone and Paradopolis Times newspapers, and the tallest building in the world, the Twin Parody Tower (just the one tower nowadays; ask spiffy, it was his fault) looming over Parody Plaza.
The civic centre is to the east of the island, around City Hall and Paradopolis Plaza. North of Off-Central Park is residential Shelton, then the less salubrious docklands and warehouse area of seedytown and the even poorer areas of Hell's Bathroom (Slumtown). West of Off-Central park is the financial district of Carrington, and then the exclusive settlements of Pierce Heights where the luxurious headquarters of the Heckfire Club can be found. South of the island past the old Variety Theatre and Music Hall and the Civic Museum are the immigrant areas including Managtown. On the mainland west and south of the island are more suburbs such as Dullard's Corner.
Various superheroes live and work in the city. Within walking distance of Paradopolis Plaza is the Bean and Donut Coffee Bar, workplace and home of Dancer, Lisa's law firm where Goldeneyed and Lisette work and Goldeneyed dosses, NTU-150's Bautista Enterprises, and the Municipal Library which is secretly home to the troll Wangmundo. Other famous landmarks include Mimbleís and Druselís Dept Stores, and the Parodiopolis Museum where Pigeonman curates. Fin Fang Foom has a skyscraper apartment which he seldom bothers with so Ziles squats there.
Adjacent to North River the seedy cluster of ghettos and low-rent housing sometimes known as Hell's Bathroom is also known for its superhero activity. Life is tough here and several heroes are based in the Bathroom, including ManMan and formerly Falcon. Xander the Improbable runs his clock-repair and plumbing business from a shop at the end of an alleyway which is sometimes there. Dancer volunteers for charity work at the Seaman's Mission. St Jude's Orphanage ekes a meagre existence supported by donations from anonymous benefactors. Late night raves take place at the infamous Fatal Toilet pub. Reverend Fleetwood runs the Zero Street Chapel. The Little Sisters of Discipline School for Wayward Girls is now closed and is said to be haunted.
Centrally located near Carrington is the finest medical facility in the city, the Phantomhawk Memorial Hospital. A couple of blocks towards Off-Central Park is Rocket-Man Memorial High School.
On the southern seaboard spiffy and Banjooo have a detective agency and sea monkey embassy down near the wharves. Further along in the salubrious waterfront area is The Willow nightclub, secretly run by the dark faerie Camellia. Out across the water is the tiny rock which is currently Exile's headquarters. Between the coast and central Paradopolis is Mangatown, a Chinese and Japanese community. The offices of the Interdimensional Transportation Corporation where Nats, Miss Framlicker, and Mr Limpqvist work are sometimes found south of Off-Central Park.
Further inland are several suburbs. Across the Englehart bridge, (which has itís own lady troll Mahssus) lies the commuter settlement of Dullard's Corner, home of Visionary and Cheryl. Vizh and Cheryl's condo is now also located partly underground and at a list of fifteen degrees and forms the completed part of the base of the League of Regulars. Beyond these settlements are pleasant rolling hills where spiffy once had a mansion before it got beavers and exploded. Towns such as Garyville, Littleville, and spooky Blackís Crossing are dotted twenty or thirty miles inland.
Paradopolis has a bad record for having its civic leaders assassinated and its City Hall destroyed. It seemed for a while that recent mayor the alien Puppeteer Pierson's Porter might have overcome that, but he is now missing along with his new hundred and thirty story City Hall, so Acting Deputy Mayor Genowski and senior law-enforcement official Commissioner Graham are running the city for now.
Gothametropolis York is the dark shadow lurking across the water from Paradopolis. There are far less shining skyscrapers here and far more old, gothic buildings. Gothametropolis is a dark, corrupt place, from the rotting wharves in the former port quarter through to the high-priced whorehouses and political headquarters up on Millionaire's Row.
Landmarks include the Gothametropolis Times building, the Gothametropolis cemetery (Our Heavenly Saints), the Lynchpin's tower, and the Safe, a super-villain containment unit. The Abandoned Legion operated out of Gothametropolis, from a former fire-house. The Dark Knight is the city's grimmest defender. The current Mayor is spiffy.
North and west of the city is a radioactive wasteland, scars from a quantum bomb explosion during the Technopolis War. Strange and uncanny mutations breed here, and the changing dangerous landscape has not been explored.
In upstate Gothametropolis, where the roads are windy and lonely and the wind wails over barren moors and old Indian tumuli, the ruins of Herringcarp Asylum, once and future home of the sinister Hooded Hood, perches on an isthmus out into the turbulent Atlantic Ocean. It sometimes goes walkabout.
Paradopolis Sound is the bay of water formed where the North and South Rivers join the ocean, a natural bowl with several small islands causing navigational hazards. By far the most historical and famous island is Parody Island, once home of city father Wilbur Parody, later headquarters to the League of Improbable Gentlemen, and currently site of the Lair Mansionof the heroic Lair Legion. The island is joined to the mainland by a bridge of NTU-150's design. More on the Lair Mansion
Beneath Paradopolis and Gothametropolis are a network of sewers, old tunnels, and mysterious chasms. In the upper vaults live the Morshlocks, pale subterranean dwellers of whom little is known. Deeper is the lair of Shabba'dhabba'Dhu, the Groper out of Grossness, a vast Lovecraftian entity which sleeps - for now. The Scholar-Ghouls of Gothametropolis dwell beneath Gothametropolisí All Saints Cemetery.
[NOTE: Include information about the city from Finny's Eclipse stories here.]
Other Cities and Towns that have been mentioned mostly have counterparts in our own world. Places in Canada, Hong Kong, Australia, Germany, and the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Island have all been mentioned. Sir Mumphrey Wilton has a country house in Sussex, England, and a business office in London, for example. Akiko Masamune operates her Tong mobs from Hong Kong. Baron Zemo's castle has variously been in Germany, South America, Oceanica, and lots of other places; presumably it's a security thing. Of special interest is France, which has been invaded, nuked, and vaporised several times now, and keeps getting better and coming back due to the machinations for the French tourist board and a deal with the devil..
Arkham, Massachusetts has been ripped off whole into the Parodyverse. Home of the famous Miscatonic University (where CrazySugarFreakBoy's Aunt Olivia works), the whole town is simply dripping with Things Man Was Not Meant to Know. It is the only town in the world where even the bookshops sell garlic and silver bullets. More information on CSFB!ís Arkham
Arachknight City is a West Coast centre of business and commerce, usually free from the more overt superheroic excesses of Paradopolis and Gothametropolis.
Seattle, Washington is home to CrazySugarFreakBoy!, Mr Bookís Odyssey Opportunities and its subsidiaries, Hestia Hall girls school, and a whole range of important venues from the CSFB! stories. More information on CSFB!ís Seattle
Littlesmallville is a town that blinks in and out of the Parodyverse. When present it is usually located thirty miles west of Parodiopolis. Currently itís there to stay. Amazing Guy, his wife Janeen, and their four kids live in an apartment there.
El'bar is the capital city of Immin, a small nation of the Southern Coast of the Sinai Peninsula. One of the luxury hotels there is the Blue Pearl.
Wakandybar is a hidden African nation, the only known source of the mineral Vibratium. Its king and ceremonial leader is the Black Pantser.
Vesalia, City of the Apes is another hidden African city populated entirely by talking monkeys. This is presumably the point of origin for Evil Monkey and Rape Ape.
Badripoor is a South Asian coastal city-state with little in the way of laws, a place of thieves, cut-throats, romance and adventure. Recently it has come under the control of crimelord Count Armageddon.
Candia is a mysterious closed country occupying the same space as Canada through a misfired retcon. It can still be reached by taking the wrong backroad north. The Peopleís Fraternal Republic of Candia is a very large, muddy nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape. Exports include mud, voleskin products, and uranium. Candia's national animal is the dung beetle, which is also the nation's favourite main course and which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation. Itís currency is the Looney. Other than that, we donít know much about them. Donít confuse them with Canadians. That annoys them.
Other Places of Interest on Parody Earth:
Savage Park is a tropical Antarctic realm created by the Abhumans in their genetic experiments. It features all the usual Jurassic trappings, like dinosaurs, primitive cults, ape-men who understand English, and so on. It's also got the essential volcanos. A standing anti-tech field prevents anything more complicated than a fountain pen operating there. Caveguy has recently become the Laird of the Savage Park according to some PR materials put out by Elsqueevio.
Austernia is the city of the Austernals, advanced creations of the Celestial Space Robots' First Host. Rumoured to exist behind sophisticated force fields on Australia's Worraplonka Mountain, this generically futuristic city is the place where the indestructible and unageing Austernals don't do very much interesting at all. No wonder Sersi got an apartment in Paradopolis and spends most of her time partying in Rio. At the moment the whole Austernal race is convened in their great Omni-Brain, a gestalt intelligence, healing themselves from a recent attack.
Banjooo's Sea Monkey Realm has never been revealed to the outside world. It is somewhere beneath the Sargasso Sea, but since most Sea Monkeys are a twentieth of an inch long it's going to be hard to spot anyway. Recalcitrant sea monkeys are exiled to Lake Superior.
The Great Relief is the Tibetan refuge of the Abhumans, led by their mighty king Brown Blot. These genetically-modified people shun human contact except for Maximess, the king's brother, who likes to torment humans with his superior mental powers and mind-control.
The Realm of the Racoon Peopleand the Stronghold of the Lemming Folk have yet to be explored.
Shangri-La was a hidden Asian settlement, apparently filled with peace-loving philosophers but actually filled with humanoid simulacrums created by the Nebulus as part of their plan to trap Jarvis. It may no longer exist.
Monstrous Island is a volcanic rock off the coast of Japan inhabited by the bizarre results of early Abhuman genetic experiments with leftover Celestian technology.
Covenant House is the spooky home of Hagatha Darkness. Sorceress' childhood home appears to be somewhere around New England, by the sea, near the Canadian border.
Manga Shoggoth's Antarctic Fortress is a sanity-mangling ancient edifice of cyclopean stone, haunted by giant carnivorous penguins and dotted with innumerable TV screens showing endless Japanese animation.
The Floating Isle of Chemmis was the former headquarters of the Sect of Buto, the cult who send a Cobra forth in each generation. It was destroyed and sunk several years ago by the Ass-Raping Ninjas.
The Nexus of Unreality is a conduit into the Vortex (q.v.) located in the Louisiana Swamps. Its guardian is the mud elemental Bog-Thing.
Fishieonah beneath the Atlantic Ocean is the kingdom of the Fishiemen. This race is the principal surviving legacy of the fallen nation of Atlantis. These evolved fish creatures have migrated to this new home thanks to the help of their king, Fancy Guppy.
France, the well-known European country, has been destroyed on many occasions in Parodyverse history, but is always restored to its former Gallicness due to a pact between the French Tourist Board and the Devil.
There are also a profusion of secret bases and suchlike for all kinds of agencies, such as B.A.L.D., H.E.R.P.E.S., the Brotherhood of the Dark Side of the Gah! and so on.
Finally, somewhere within a few hundred miles of Paradopolis are the Beginning Fields, where it is believed Jarvis created the Parodyverse from a single blade of grass (which expanded in all directions) and where, years later, Messenger would suffer one of his more semi-permanent deaths. And it is where the 'Prophetic Genesis' installation is located which may be more than it appears...
Luna has a bad time of it in the Parodyverse. First it was colonised by the militaristic alien Skree who built the fantastic Turquoise Areaand used it in the genetic experiments that created the Abhumans. When the Abhumans had wiped the Skree scientists out they then made it their own home and experimented to create the Racoon People, the Sea Monkeys and others. During the great war with the Devoids the Turquoise Area was abandoned. Later the whole Moon became the base from which the Grim Reaper launched his attacks, and then it was blown up by Pierson's Porter. Later still it was repaired, although there's still something pretty dodgy about it. The dark side of the moon is now the location of the local Lunar Public Library, now known as the IOL Library, Earth Branch
There are various alien races and worlds, of course:
The Skunks are a shapechanging reptilian people led by Imperiator P'Rawn. They shun physical contact while in their true shapes, which makes Lisa their worst nightmare.
Their ancestral enemies are the militaristicSkree, often led by War Commander Rox-Hoff, Imperial Marshall of the Skree Fifth Invasion Fleet, or by Dronon, the Public Accoster, on behalf of the Great Interference, a computer which preserves all the arrogance of every Skree who has ever died.
Makluos was the homeworld of the draconic Makluans before it was devastated by Galactivac the Living Death that Sucks and its inhabitants fled and scattered.
Of special interest is Yo-Planet, bunny-friendly homeworld of the pure thought being Yo-people (of which Yo is one).
Dark Knightís Secret Pluto Base is a secret base. Itís on Pluto.
Xnylone is the homeworld of Ziles, from which she was exiled for untranslatable crimes.
The Puppeteers were a powerful and manipulative bunch of alien gamesmasters before they were destroyed (all but Pierson's Porter).
Frammistat Eight, a degenerate pleasure planet, is home to the Slimy Slaver Lovetoad. It is also the home of famous xenoarchaeologist Dr Blargelslarch.
Maxell, home of the hero Victory, is a planet that orbits a red sun. Maxell is dying so the population of this planet plans to escape and conquer Earth. Theyíre still building their ship.
Owna was the home to the oldest race called the GardenSmerfs and birthplace of the Yellow Flashlights Corps. This planet was long since erased from history the Hero Feeders.
Thonggar is the home to an evolved militaristic Pigeon race. They at war with the She-Yar Empire.
The She-Yar Empire is rebuilding after Thugosí invasion. Empress Lieíanídry is their ruler.
Several worlds were known for being the home planets to the Captain Marbles through out history. These include Beatit, Deega, Dawg, Pi-Nuttz, Thonggar, and Seemin. There of course were many others, but these are the only chronicled ones so far.
Deathworld once held a vast space army of galactic conquest led by Onslaughter for Dark Thugos, but that has now been scattered and the artificial planetoid destroyed.
The Second Oldest Race , a scientifically advanced species became extinct when their technology betrayed them in a great war with the Interdimensional Hero Feeders. Little is known of their destruction, but it may have been linked to their creation of the psi-amplifying Psychostave which is now in Natsí possession. Their empire was in the Celestian-interdicted Dead Galaxy.
Interstitial Space is the Vortex Nexusbetween the various parallel strands of the multi-continuitied Parodyverse. This strange, ever-changing area is largely uncharted, but may be the home or at least the base of the extradimensional Nebulus, an advanced race who plan to use the Parodyverse as a breeding ground for super-powered armies of conquest. Their principal operative is the exotic Lo-Chi, Jarvis' first wife. Also prowling this area are the parasitic Hero Feeders. There's one good public bar out here that's kind of neutral territory, where cosmic entities tend to drop in where Nobody Speaks Your Name.
Ausgard is the home of the Ausgardian pantheon led by Oldman. Reached via the rainbow bridge Bifrosting, this warrior realm includes the halls of Vanhalen where warriors fallen in battle quaff into eternity with no fear of cirrhosis of the liver. Donar is Oldman's oldest son. His half brother or sister (depending on who's writing) Hoki is also a prominent resident. Other know Ausgardians include the Enthrallress and Freyda, goddess of sex. Ausgard was forcibly relocated to its current location millennia since after the Ausgardians lost their war with the Celestian Space Robots, and by the terms of that sentence none of the gods involved are allowed on Earth. Donar was not yet born at that time, and is only half-Ausgardian anyway.
The Deathrealms of most pagan entities ( Ausgardians, Austernals, Olympians, Amazonians, Sumerians, Mormons ) were merged in an effort to increase revenue, and cut costs. Hence, Hel, the Elysian Fields, the lower rent parts of Hell, etc, are now all accessible from one main outlet, located at the first turnoff from the tunnel of light. ( If you hit Byfrosting the Rainbow Bridge, you've gone too far.)
The Mythlands are the realms of belief, made up of all the places and creatures humans have imagined and told stories about through the ages. Ausgard occupies one small part of a much larger territory where elves, dwarves, faeries, the Greek pantheon and presumably others all dwell.
The Happy Place is a conceptual realm of sheer happiness (and bunnies), from which Yoís people proceed and to which they and others can return when especially happy or at times of great stress (hence the phrase ďIím in my happy placeĒ). Its keeper is the pure thought being Yi. Some people, such as the villainous Hooded Hood, cannot get here. There is also a dark counterpart, the Not-So-Happy-Place>, which is inhabited by evil things like energy-sucking ferns and psychorabbits..
Amazon Isle is a piece of astral real estate occupied by the Amazon warriors by ancient covenant. The Amazons, led by Queen Troia and her high priestess the Pythoness, guard the main gateway between the Parodyverse and the terrible Dreary Dimension and other unpleasant places. Men are not allowed to set foot on Amazon Isle on pain of having their bits confiscated. Troia 215, daughter of the late queen Rigantona, ascended the throne after the recent murder of her aunt Titania..
The Dreary Dimension was created of old by the various Mythlands pantheons as a prison for the tyrannical Dread Dormaggadon. Since this villain's demise other, less terrible rulers have sat on the Dread Throne in his Dark Tower. The Dreary Dimension is the natural home of the marauding monsters called Brainless Ones, but other human and semihuman creatures have migrated or been carried off there to create a realm. By its nature it was a lot easier to get into the Dreary Dimension than out of it. It has recently been rejoined to the Mythlands and is being cared for by retired hero Exile and retired sacrificial maiden Valeria of Carfax.
Hell, the Abyss, the Bad Place etc. , pretends to be another dimension as well, and often dresses itself up with brimstone lakes and pitchforks and stuff. It's not like that. It's much, much, worse. The nearest folks ever get to comprehending how bad it gets is through a series of apparent rulers of apparent levels of the Pit, such as Blackhurt, Prince of Fibs, and his predecessor Mefrothto.
The Negativity Zone is a negative universe ruled by Anihillatus, master of all the realms from the Queasy Area to the Babbling Fields.
Places of Ravens and Destiny are the bases of entities such as the Chronicler of Stories, the Shaper of Worlds, and the Destroyer of Worlds, created using manifestations of their powers. Each is different but these strongholds tend to have a raven theme to them.
The Realms of the Pointless are individualised habitats. Coincidence's area is filled with TV screens. Death has the traditional halls. So far the other homes of the Pointless have not been seen
Celestian City is rarely accessible, and contains the maintenance and control facilities for the mighty Celestian Space Robots.
The Technoverse is a parallel universe where science reigns. The greatest city on that Earth counterpart is Technopolis. More details on the place are available in the Who's Who in the Technoverse
The Heart of Souls is a place between all universes. The cosmic being called the Omnisoul is its guardian. He watches from there, keeping track of all that transpires.
In between all times and space flies (or flew) a hexagonal ship. Itís the new home of the Lurker, his remaining robot helpers, and his female assistant Humdinger.
Pegasus serves a mysterious extraterrestrial, possibly extraplanar organisation called The Constellation of which little is known.
And of course there's a lot more out there yet to be discovered...
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