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This message History of the Parodyverse was posted by ag (Ok guys! Please give me info on your charicters sence a year ago. Please look at whats there and let me know whats missing! Ian, can you link this on your're Where's Where, Who's Who and home page? Thanks! on Monday, November 25, 2002 at 21:12.
History of the Parodyverse
Accessing Parodyverse History File 00001
The History of the Parodyverse
SUBJECT: Entire History File, from beginning of time to end of time.
Content will constantly need updating.
This universe has always been shaped by other forces. The first of these being a simple mortal man from another universe. He created what is now called the Parodyverse by accident through powers called the Jarvis Cosmic. This was in part because of cosmic upheavals in other dimensions. The moment the single flash of sentience began, other, more powerful forces became aware of this new universe. They in turn acted upon it, making it their own. Their influence can be seen in everything. These beings that sit above all the cosmic deities shaped the Parodyverse and continue to do so. At first the man whom had created the universe, Jarvis by name, had brought in his friends and even some enemies. Things were strange at first, unorganized. People and places from these mortals’ experiences crept into the Parodyverse. Things happened that never could happen anywhere else. This is part of the reason the Parodyverse stands as the supreme crazy house of the Omniverse.
The special function of the Parodyverse is that it occupies the very far end of the probability curve, acting as a buffer to keep bizarre and unlikely plots from happening in more serious universes. There are therefore quite a lot of strands of slightly different versions of the same reality going on and they interweave until they eventually decide upon one course of narrative, which is accepted in retrospect as the one that actually happened. Also, there seems to be some sort of cosmic “tie” from this universe and that of others, notably ones occupied by other famous heroes. On occasion some people, places and even memories intertwine for brief moments. If this were to go unchecked, chaos would over power order and cause destruction to the Parodyverse.
The Parodyverse was at first a strange, off centered place, until others took notice of it* And it’s potential. The beings that sit beyond all realized the confusion so they brought about means to create order.
That’s when three cosmic deities were created to police it, and make sure the universe worked proper. The Triumvirate. They are the Chronicler of Stories, the Shaper of Worlds and Samhain the Destroyer of Stories. Soon after these beings weren’t alone. More cosmic deities were created as well; the Parody Master, the Celestian Space Robots, Galactivac, the Omnisoul, the Observers, Eggo, the Elmers of the Universe and quite a few others. Various “gods” were created as well, such as the Ausgardians. The forces of Order and Chaos also began their work, creating events and agents to fulfill their needs. Soon the universe got away from its original creator, the mortal Jarvis, and a history was becoming formed. The beings that sit above saw this as a good thing and took a hand, through their cosmic agents, to create a past more fitting towards their collective goals. Paradox Stranger created little time periods where the ancestors of the heroes that would one-day stand in the Resolution War would gain similar abilities and face similar threats, all this becoming practice sessions for the upcoming Resolution War. Then came the arrival of the Hooded Hood. Through his machinations time started to shape towards his goals. Then began a constant conflict between the Hood’s agenda and the cosmic beings’ agenda. This conflict is still in effect, the outcome unsure. Now another force has entered the game. A being remarkably similar to the Hood, known as the Cowled Crook. He sits and plots from the end of time. How this will effect things remains a mystery.
This is the history, broke down to time periods and events, as it now sits. From the time before time itself to the time at the end of time.
The Time Before Time Itself and Just Afterwards:
* The Beings Who Sit Above All starts the Parodyverse’s new history.
* The Fairly Great Old Ones invade from “elsewhere”. These creatures are utterly alien, somehow entering the universe like parasites and making it their own. Other powers in the universe have trouble dealing with them because the usual rules don't restrain them; but others do, including the need for certain cosmic conditions "when the stars are right" for them to exist at all as we understand it.
* The Mythlands are formed out of the rotting carcasses and residual belief in the fallen Great Old Ones. At roughly the time the Mythlands formed, the Vortex between realities was also discovered or came into being. There were now enough stories to sustain it. And with that came the Hero Feeders, beings from Elsewhere that devourer other sentient life whole.
* The early beginnings of the Ausgardians, Olympians and other God-like races, including the ancient Native American Deities and the Egyptian Gods.
* Ausgard is created from the Grinninggap, a form of Primordial Happy Place. Ausgard consist of Nine Worlds, the ones that I have recorded are Ausgard, Hella and later on, Middlegard (Earth, the youngest of the Worlds). Valhalen resides between Ausgard's shores, as does Emoh S'ranod, Donar’s home.
* The otherworldly race called the Janus was already old by this time. They were entrusted with the keys of the dimensional doors, which kept all the elements of existence separate. One of them, being too inquisitive, released various primal forces including Impossibilityium. Chaos was released further in the universe, to an even greater extent. The rest of the Janus cast the one out. It became an individual, thus named the GateTravelerGameTransformer!, the very first CrazySugarSuperHero! in all of existence.
* It should be noted that around this same period the Agents of Order bring forth Serious Matter. Like Impossibilitium, Serious Matter is material which forms part of the basic fabric of the Parodyverse, but is actually pretty much the opposite of Impossibilitium. It grants the ability to assimilate experience, whether by devouring brains as the future villain Brain Butcher would use it, or by wearing caps as the future hero Hatman will do. Just as there will always be CrazySugarHeroes there will also always be Emissaries of Order who are granted Serious Matter. The Agents of Order and Chaos are 9999.99999 percent always deadly enemies.
* The Celestian Space Robots begin traversing the universe, performing experiments.
* The GardenSmurfs, the oldest Parodyverse alien race, build a great civilization on the planet Owna.
* The Second Oldest Alien Race quickly advances faster then even the little blue-skinned GardenSmurfs.
* The alien known as GateTravelerGameTransformer! creates his own set of inter-dimensional doorways using Impossibilityium.
* The Second Oldest Alien Race starts seeding many planets. They may be responsible for the prevalent of bipedal carbon-based dominant lifeforms, and their "seeding" of human-like peoples explains why most aliens look like humans with cheap prosthetics attached to them or body makeup. They are therefore also responsible for all hot alien space-princesses and sexy Arcturian slave-girls, and for the vast number of races which have developed languages strangely like English. Hey, it’s the Parodyverse!
* Goofoff of planet Deega becomes the first Captain Marbles. The Omnisoul gives the job of watching him and assigning him missions to Eggo, the Living Waffle.
* Galactivac, the Living Death That Sucks is created and starts looking for worlds he can feed upon.
* A coalition of planets petitions the Second Oldest Alien Race to stop Galactivac. They turn to the GardenSmurfs for help. This alien race uses its vast power to create the Yellow Flashlight Corps. Representatives from all over the Universe gain a Power-Thimble and start to protect their sectors of space.
* The Yellow Flashlight Corps battle Galactivac to a standstill. 600 YF’s die in the battle. The rest retreat.
* A member of the Yellow Flashlight Corps rebels. He is sent to the Anti-Matter world called Quack in another Universe.
* The alien race that would become known as the Observers give technology to a young race, it destroys itself and they decide to begin “observing” other races development.
* The GardenSmurfs send out the Yellow Flashlight Corps to find and stop the Hero Feeders.
* The Hero Feeders decimate the Yellow Flashlight Corps. The GardenSmurfs call on the Second Oldest Living Race to help defeat the Feeders. The remaining Yellow Flashlights fight to the very end. During the Battle, one of the GardenSmurfs rebels against his brothers and sends three YF’s through time to the future, so that at least three will survive. Since this Rebel GardenSmurf is weak he winds up sending all three to three different eras. During this conflict the Main Duracell Battery on the planet Owna was destroyed when the GardenSmurfs poured all there remaining power into it. They were killed while a fragment of that power flew through space as a burning yellow meteor. The Hero Feeders then clashed with the Second Oldest Living Race, the greatest galactic empire then seen, whose very name they consumed along with half a million worlds. But this empire's dying act was to forge a weapon to destroy their enemy, and to trigger that terrible device in their final moments. Almost all the Hero Feeders were decimated, and now they lurk at the fringes of the Vortex, picking easy prey and foraging in Comic-Book Limbo.
* Galactivac captured the energy of that single discharge for his Multiversal Discombobulator. All that remained of the original weapon was a slender cane, which floated harmlessly in space.
* Eggo, the Living Waffle stops the tradition of Captain Marbles after the last, Snoooopi, of the planet Pi-Nuttz was killed in the War with the Hero Hunters. Snoooopi was the only Captain Marbles to have also been a Yellow Flashlight.
* From the ashes of the Second Oldest Race several systems start to form alliances.
* The beginnings of the Skree Empire.
* The beginnings of the Skunk Empire.
* The beginnings of the She-Yar Empire.
The Early Period of Life on Earth:
* Earth is formed, cools, land masses form.
* The man who would come to be known as Charles “Charlie” Smiling Coyote, the SacredClownSmilingCoyote!, used his gifts as the Wild’s agent of primordial Chaos and Creation to outsmart Grandmother Spider, the mad Weaver Queen of Order, and to betray his lowly Brother Worm, his kindred spirit of Chaos and his balancing force as the bringer of Destruction, engendering the deep-seated grudges that continue to exist to this day.
* The Celestians visit Earth for the first time. The First Host created the Austernals and the Deviates using machinery they then abandoned on the moon.
* Early life begins on Earth. It develops and continues to do so. Dinosaurs occupy the Earth. Soon after the Fairly Great Old Ones come to Earth and make it their own. The Celestians bury the Secret for which the Parodyverse had been designed in the first place and place a watchman of power, the terrible elder creature Shab’adabba’Dhu, to ensure that none could ever gain the secret without the universe being destroyed.
* Dinosaurs wiped out. Small mammals survive and develop.
* Yo-Planet suddenly is where it should be. Trees, bunnies, everything is now being pretty and Yo-Beings are happy. They were in the Happy Place, but now happy Yo-Beings is on Yo-Planet, is Yo-Planet.
* Man begins. Cro-Magnon man occupies the Earth. The Fairly Great Old Ones ruled the Earth and enslaved proto-humans they genetically created servitor races of monstrous creatures to act as their intermediaries. One such race was the Shoggoths. When the Fairly Great Old Ones weakened with the changing eons the Shoggoths rebelled against their masters and most were destroyed, but they also damaged the FGOO enough for the newly emerging powers of the Parodyverse such as the Celestians to capture, bind, or drive away the FGOO.
* At this early age reality was set to crumble between the dimensions of Ausgard and Earth. The thin wall of perception and belief that kept both worlds separate was becoming damaged. An alliance was struck. Gail (the female representation of the Earth) and Oldman (The king of the Ausgardian Pantheon) begot Donar, He of both worlds, which did for a time, delay one world’s apocalypse.
* Homo sapiens take over. Ant-throw, the cave boy has his life and adventures. During this time the No Girl’s Club in their time machine called Aunt Sally, appear for a short time.
* A strange meteor crashes, radiating two cavemen. One, Vuuuurrg, becomes Vergil Salvage, a most ruthless tyrant because he is now immortal. He begins his long history of torment to others.
* A cave woman becomes devoted to the strange Demon Lover. This starts the generation after generation of daughters of the House of Darkness.
* Circa 100,000 BC: The Second Celestian Host come to Earth and begins experimenting on some tribes. They create the Austernals and the Deviates. Two heroes from the future appear briefly, Lisa and Goldeneyed.
* The strange tradition of heroes with the name HV begins.
* Antlandus begins to flourish, becoming one of the greatest civilizations of the time. Aaron the Magician becomes its ruler.
* Aaron’s twin brother, Kulldechak, opens a portal to the Mythlands. Various creatures make earth their home. The Antlandians experiment with sea life, creating humanoid fish-men as servants.
* The planet Thonggar starts to become home to a race of evolved Earth pigeons. The second oldest alien Race created this race. The Pigeonmen invent 9th Metal, an alloy that allows a person to fly; thus giving the Thongarians the ability to once again take to the air. They start their police force.
* Aaron of Antlandus fights Kulldechak. Battle caused the sinking of Antlandus. Supposedly the people died. Aaron and his daughter disappeared but just before they did, she freed the Fish-men. Kulldechak entombed in ruins.
* Charr-lee Toona led the fish people, now calling them selves the Fishiemen, into the Atlantic Ocean to create their new home, Fishiona.
* Circa 12,000 BC: The Skree arrive on Earth’s moon and salvage the left over Celestian equipment and built their Turquoise Area city around it. They tried to breed a race of genetically advanced soldiers, the race who became the Abhumans. The Abhumans in turn moved this equipment to Earth and created a series of races like the Sea Monkeys, the Raccoon People, and the Talking Apes, mainly to fight the Deviate threat.
* The founding of the Cult of Lugosa, worshipers of Shab’adabba’Dhu.
* The Cymornin Age begins. Barbarian tribes rule the land. Conehed the Barbarian begins his life and adventures. This is also the beginning of Hyborian Vandal.
* The Messengers start with the very first one.
* Circa 10,000 BC: HoneyBerserkerBarbarian! (Upchukk the Uproarious) begins his life and adventures.
He fights Vergil Salvage, a Hyborian King. Over throws him.
* The HornyHoneyBerserkerBarbarian!, ruled over the post- Antlandean kingdoms of man, beating back the obscene hordes of the Ab-Men with his holy war mallet of impossibly impervious Luni Tunz metal, and recording the exploits of his people in a bizarre form of pictographs, eventually printed on bound leaflets of papyrus, whose much sought-after entertainment value led their becoming the currency of his lands.
* Circa 8,000BC: the Abhuman/Deviate Wars began. The Abhumans used the same devices from the Turquoise Area of the Moon to create ally races. The most successful were the Sea Monkeys. Then there were the Raccoon People and the Sloth People. There are others who have yet to be chronicled.
* HairyHoneyBerserkerBarbarian! met the time traveling Lisa and Goldeneyed on Lair Island. The Celestians arrive because HHBB!’s tribe desecrated the temple of Lugosa. The Celestian energy matrix eradicated the humans who had interfered with the Celestian plan. Killing the HairyHoneyBerserkerBarbarian! Thus began a curse so powerful that it would be triggered off millennia hence when the Lair Legion started asking questions about Wilbur Parody. All that was left was a smooth, barren island in a boiling sea and a Secret so potent that it could crack the Multiverse.
The Old World:
* Early Mesopotamia begins its civilization. Vergil Salvage becomes one of its rulers for a time.
* Early Egypt begins its civilization.
* The Egyptian wizard Gahh exiles evil Egyptian Teth AdamAnt.
* The Sect of Buto is formed, as is another mystic sister order, of which we may hear another time.
* During the time of Pharaoh Rummy Tumm Tumm several events took place. The ancient Egyptian wizard, Muff Tu Ta, placed the cosmic significance known as the Omnisoul into the Helmet of Omni. He placed it on his head and became Ta-Ta and served the Pharaoh as his champion. Ca Hutow, an Egyptian scientist found a metal at that time from a meteorite and he called it Flynowha. He used it to become Pigeon Warrior. Then his wife became Pigeonette. Lisis, and JumpingPapyriPowerEgyptian! both started their heroic careers as well. Pigeon Warrior, Lisis, JumpingPapyriPowerEgyptian! and Ta-Ta all became the Egyptian Quartet. They battled such foes as Kuu Kuu Ka Chu and the Jackal-Cat.
* A nine years old Sersi, with a lisp no less, is sent by the Austernals to Lair Island to warn time traveling Lisa and Goldeneyed to return to the future. This was brought on by an angry visit from the Chronicler of Stories scaring the Austernals.
* Early Greece begins its civilization about the same time as the above events. Homer Vugo is a great leader among men at this time. He forms the World Guardians along with the previously mentioned Egyptian heroes and a few others. They beat the evil warmonger Vergil Salvage. After a few short years things fall apart. Kuu Kuu Ka Chu killed Pigeonette. The World Guardians fought him to a stand still. Pigeon Warrior and Kuu Kuu Ka Chu die. The villain lives on by possessing one of his followers. JumpingPapyriPowerEgyptian! is killed by the Word, an agent of Order. The World Guardians are disbanded.
* Circa 5,000BC the cosmic battle against Dormaggedon ended with his exile to a specially separated portion of the Mythlands.
* Circa 1225 BC: In the legendary Greek age of heroes, Parodysseus Paradoxterix, the LuckyLustfulDementedDemigod!, and his loyal band of Dorkonauts, went to the Underworld and back to retrieve the sacred tome whispered of as the Golden Joke Book, so that the stand-up philosopher could use the comedic material in his routines, but he discovered a far greater prize, in the form of his newfound love, the minxy witch Medea … whose children preserved and furthered their mother’s ancestral lineage of women ever devoted to Demon Lovers, generation after generation, as was their inheritance as daughters of the House of Darkness. Hurcleets, a half-mortal/ half-Olympian god, becomes a great legend. Around this time the cult known as of the Sect of the Sphincter-Assaulting Assassins came to prominence, possibly as an offshoot of one of the Eleusinian mysteries.
* Circa 1275BC: Queen Rigantona led the Amazons to Amazon Isle and the Pact of Guardianship was established with the then relatively new Pantheons to prevent Dormaggadon's return.
* The Makluans, an alien race of draconian beings, flourish on their home world called Maklous.
* Circa 1300BC: the siege of Troy, many die including one famous Amazon.
* The Dormaggedon War attracted the Third Celestial Host, who curbed the Pantheons' powers and bound them with oaths. The Celestians sliced a lot of what the Pantheons had been doing into myth and legend, exiled them to the Mythlands version of Oz, transforming the Norse Gods into Ausgardians. Which is why nobody really knows much about the heroes of the Classical Age. At the same time the Celestians halted the Abhuman/Deviant conflict by annihilating all but six of the most powerful Deviants and putting almost all the Abhumans into suspended animation behind a Negativity-Zone barrier which remained unbreached until 1942 AD. Pegasus escaped into the Mythlands at this time.
* Evil Pharaoh KutKut rules Egypt with an iron hand. Kuu Kuu Ka Chu (possessing the body of his most trusted servant) forms the Sons of Set, a cult that follows his teachings.
* Rome begins to conquer the Mediterranean World. The Gladiators begin as a game for the entertainment of the people. Vergil Salvage rises high in the ranks. Willus Reedusex, the Bronze Gladiator, becomes a legend, trying to unmask the evil that is Vergil Salvage.
* An exploration party of Ausgardians travels up towards the North (Finland/Norway territory). The people there worship them as gods. The Ausgardians help build the mortals culture.
* Donar had grown up as a Godchild spoiled by his father, Oldman and without any compassion for those that would not follow the Allfather's Way. This pleased his father no end. Gail, irate at Oldman's impudence, reminded him of their bargain. Visioneery, Oldman's trusted Seer brought forth news about the Second Coming of Ragnarclok. If the Thunderer were on Ausgard's soil at the Coming, all wouldst perish. Gail made a new bargain with Oldman. Donar was to spend time on Earth for a while. He learned humility and became more and more human. Now the balance was tipped the other way. So Oldman traveled to Grinninggap, where Ausgard came from, to strike a deal with higher powers. The creation of Yonar whom with his weapon and large Bjunny roamed Earth. Donar’s memory was blotted out with a form of enchanted amnesia.
* Circa 33AD: The ex-gladiator, Vulcone, continues his fight against the Roman Empire after witnessing all the evil they have allowed. He gains his inspiration from a simple Jewish carpenter whom was crucified that year.
* The ancient Druids perform all manner of wizardry in Stonehenge.
* Sersi, of the Austernals, leaves her home and sets forth into the world to find whatever party might be in need of crashing.
* A glowing yellow meteor crashes in Tibet.
* The fall of Rome.
* Circa 515 AD: Britain was invaded by Saxons and their terrible general, Vergil Salvage, after the Romans had abandoned the country and the native Celts fought a long, bitter, bloody and ultimately losing war against the invaders who may have been held back for a time by a warlord named Artus.
* Circa 515 AD: the era of King Arthur and his Camelot. Because of the Enchantment of Britain, which happened during the Arthurian age, there was a massive development of culture and technology, all of which was reversed (retconed?) when Arthur fell. The “new history” with Artus was put in place instead. Both alternate timelines co-exist and either can be visited if the traveler knows the right frequency.
* The Paradox Stranger observes the Arthurian age and uses it as a blue print for the creation of the Lair Knights, circa 1194-1205 AD.
* Circa 700AD: Donar is first seduced by Freyja. They have an on again/off again relationship over the next few hundred years.
* Circa 775 AD: Iblis Ibn al-Hazred, the JourneyingJinniTreasureThief!, inherited from his father, the Necronomicon author known only as the Mad Arab Adbul Alhazred, a collection of mystic artifacts whose incredible power made them, and the Mad Arab’s son, attractive targets to the forces of darkness, even as the orphaned purse-snatcher somehow managed to outwit the evil beings at every turn, thanks in no small part to the Chaotic Spirit of Pure Impossibility that was bound inside his dad’s old lamp.
* Circa 792 AD: the last of his Native American Tribe, the Quontillas, an Indian fights against the invading Vikings. Arrack, Son of Thunder, as he is called, is captured and taken to Medieval Europe where he eventually fights in the defense of Carolus Magnus, AKA Charlemagne.
* Viking settlers arrive on Lair Island. The demon Oddhorn slaughtered them. The Ausgardian thunder god, Donar challenges Oddhorn. Donar becomes exiled for fighting the demon because of the oaths his father Oldman made with the Celestians. Future heroes Goldeneyed and Lisa appear briefly.
* Over a feud about which is better; Warner Brothers Cartoons or Hanna Barbara Cartoons, the Skree and Skunk Races begin their War. This war would last till this day even though no one remembers why.
* The Makluans recovered but could not comprehend the cane and other technology that was all that was left of Second Oldest Race.
* Circa 911 to 913 AD: Anastasius III was the Pope in Rome.
* Simon Piso and others take on and kill Wangmundo 's family. Piso takes the infant Wangmundo for his own purposes.
* The Insect like Broob starts to branch out. The Queen injects other captured beings with her young. They conquer the planet Caar Baaree.
The Middle Ages, Renaissance and 1st Age of Exploration:
* Circa 1066: Battle of Hastings is waged, to King Harold’s defeat. They would have won had Donar shown up as promised. Freyja made a point of keeping him 'occupied' and he forgot. So much for Donar’s promise to King Harold.
* Circa 1067: Donar's son, Harlagaz Donarson, is born.
* The Makluans used the psychostave to imprison their race's greatest evil, the body-stealing Devil Doctor.
* Circa 1078: At 11, Harlagaz manifests his godly powers. He basically has thunder-derived abilities. Sonic walls of force that can be used to push barriers aside, force himself skyward or destroy his surroundings. Freyja has trouble finding baby-sitters.
* Circa 1194: The Hooded Mage or Hooded Hermit appears. Becomes the adviser to the king. Prefers to work from the shadows, with his mirrors. The legendary Darkened Knight first appears. Stands as the first force for good.
* Circa 1198: Various noble men and women step forth to become champions of Old Britain.
Sir Jarvikins, Lady Lisette Waltshire, Helm Man, Star Sword, Sir Shifty, Knight Ghost all first appear.
The Hooded Mage creates Banjeremiahhhh, a moat creature that serves him. The mysterious monk, Holland V shows up. Advise the various Knights. Meagan La Fey forms an army of Myth creatures.
* Circa 1199: Lady Cherlyeena follows in Lisette’s footsteps. Sir William of Wonkham becomes the BabblingBardJesterJouster!, maintained his code of knightly chivalry, and added to it his own unique vow to make play out of his crusades, even as he slew foul beasts, rescued fair maidens, and outwitted the wiles of malefic magicians, and chronicling all his adventures in song and verse as he lived through them. spoffy a squire of the court learns under Sir Jarvikins. Meagan La Fey causes much destruction. The Lair Knights are formed by Holland V to stop her* Justin Tyme, a time traveler from the future helps in the battle. Star Sword turns Ionic. Natsif, Pixiedancer and ManDwarf decide to switch sides’ thanks in part to the coaxing of Madam Enchanted, one of the House of Darkness. Meagan killed the king, a new, corrupt king was sworn in.
* Circa 1200: Court inventor creates armor that makes him stronger. Becomes KFC-149. Creates experimental flight armor, gives it to best friend whom becomes Do-do bird. Sersi (now called Sersin) stumbles across a young dragon that wants to be human, called Puff. They go exploring. The King is wicked and taxes the people very harshly. Robin Bastion rebels and leads a group of thieves, he becomes the Forester. KFC-149, Sersi, Puff, Do-do bird and Donar all join the Lair Knights. During this time the No Girl’s Club in their time machine called Aunt Sally, appear for a short time.
* Circa 1201: KFC-149 creates his greatest invention, an automated man, made out of gears, wood and metal. Calls him Fake man. Has no idea of the fairy (Pixiedancer) that REALLY brought it to life. Donar leaves because of the wickedness of the king* Yo appears from the future, calls it himself/herself Yoodle-he-hoo. Joins in Donar’s place. The Hooded Mage curses Jason Bloodbath, turning him into the Demon-Gargoyle Eatagain. The creature serves as the Mage's new champion.
* Circa 1202: Cherlyeena, Banjeremiahhhh, and KFC-149 disappear. Shifty killed. Knight Ghost goes into drunken stupor. King gets worse. Sir Jarvikins suspects the Hooded Mage, the Kings adviser. A Messenger comes from the future and helps save the Kingdom by killing the wicked king. Jarvikins is made the new king. The Hooded Mage switches sides. The Forester joins the Lair Knights. An Ausgardian known as Jon the Brave comes to the kingdom. Renamed Sir Valiant by King Jarvikins. Rides his flying Horse, Acorn.
* Circa 1204: - Vergil Savage arrives and starts discontent with the people and King Jarvikins. Threatens the unity of the Kingdom, battles with the Lair Knights and time traveling Justin Tyme.
* Circa 1205: Discovering the true nature of the Hooded Mage, Sir Valiant fights him and in turn is sent, along with Acorn, to the year 1941 AD.
* Circa 1272: Old Lisette dies after Justin Tyme revisits her. A non-aged Knight Ghost is spotted a few times before finally disappearing for apparently good.
* Eatagain, the Demon-Gargoyle gets trapped within a vase, waiting to be released.
* The mysterious Silentmovie Knight fights for the legend that once was the Lair Knights without ever saying a word. Also found pantomiming various movies, then while his foes are distracted, he kills them.
Sir Valiant and Acorn return, years after their friends are all dead. Fight for right on their own.
* The Triumvirate of Shaper, Chronicler, and Destroyer dropped the Arthurian age out of history into myth and legend, doubtless to thwart the ambitions of the Hooded Mage/Hermit. In this way Arthur sleeps until the time of greatest need, and nobody can pin a definite time to the legends of Camelot.
* Yonn, the Viking Prince fights supernatural and human menaces.
* The Three Musketeers fight tyranny in France.
* Circa 1492: Christopher Columbus finds the Americas by accident because his first mate, Visidoni, fell asleep at the wheel.
* Circa 1494: Time Traveler Justin Tyme fixes his machine so that he can proceed home.
* Super smart apes build Ape City deep in Africa.
* A Makluan space ship crashes on Earth after the planet Maklous committed planetary suicide. Two occupants (both Dragon-like beings) are aboard. There is also the psychostave created by the Second Oldest Alien Race.
* Circa 1575: In Renaissance Italy, Dante de Zanni, the MerryHereticHarlequinMask!, used his enchanted actor’s masks to become a master of disguise, outwitting the agents of the Inquisition, fighting for right on the seedy streets of Florence, and atoning for the sins of his accursed ancestors past, all as he and his traveling theater company of the ‘Lair of Hilarity’ toured throughout Europe, ensuring that, no matter how powerful their political opponents or how close the local constabulary was to capturing them, the show would ALWAYS go on for the humble peasant folk that they entertained. One of his worst critics was Vergil Salvage, whom tried hard to kill Zanni. Nevertheless the MerryHereticHarlequinMask! always beat Salvage until the later left for parts unknown.
* Realizing the error of his decision, Eggo, the Living Waffle reinstitutes the tradition, by making Tweeeti Byrrd of Thonggar the next Captain Marbles. This is a result of the Great War between the Thonggarians and the She-Yar Empire.
* A mysterious evil figure from the future sets up the ManManHunter Cult. Robots hidden into society, waiting for the proper time to strike.
* Circa 1650: In Feudal Japan, Kuno Kitsune, the BakaGaijinHanumanRonin!, led the life of a masterless samurai, upholding his own code of honor, to protect the weak and defend the innocent, even as his former disciples, the Thunder Monkey-Worshipping Brotherhood, became the feared and pitiless assassins known as … the Ass-Raping Ninjas Student Loan Collection Agency, who would become the sworn arch-enemies of all future CrazySugarSuperHeroes! thereafter.
18th Century, Age of Swashbucklers, Revolutionary War (1700’s):
* The being that would one day be called Wangmundo crossed the Atlantic with Privateer Sir Frances Drake. Unferth is alive and well, hunting for him.
* Circa 1723: Pirates capture English Nobleman, John Bastion. This event leads him to change his life, becoming the Purple Pirate. With his son Philip by his side, he fights tyranny with his band of rebels on the high seas. The English Lord Vergil Salvage commanded various fleets against Bastion, but could never catch him.
* Circa 1725: On the choppy tempest of the Atlantic, from the coasts of pre-revolution France to the shores of the colonial Americas, Wesley Valentine, the JollyJauntySweetmeatSwashbuckler!, engaging the forces of spoiled royalty in rapier duels, robbing from the fattened coffers through his acts of high seas piracy, and giggling with glee all the while, as he and his loyal seafaring musketeers ever upheld their credo of, “Fun for all, and all for fun!” Both the JollyJauntySweetmeatSwashbuckler! And the Purple Pirate became fast friends and allies against such fierce foes as Capt’n Crunch and his fearsome crew. With his first mate Toni Tigerman, and such ruthless men such as the midgets Snaapt, Crack’em and Popped, as well as the dreaded TwoCan Sam and Kookoo, and of course the magical Luckydeath, the Leprechaun, Capt’n Crunch was always giving trouble to ships on the high seas.
* The dreaded Sea-Ghost sails the seven seas.
* The alien Z’socks land on Earth after fleeing from Captain Marbles (Jabir-Jws of the Planet Seemin). They give him the slip by becoming Earth pirates, Captain Lionmaine and his crew. Seaman Crusty Pete joins with them.
* Andrew Forman fights the ever-growing numbers of vampires in Europe. He fights them from within, as a vampire.
* Keith Runner, the Earl of Strethmere, is killed on the road but comes back for vengeance as the Grim and Gritty Ghost.
* Circa 1776: the American Colonies start a revolution, gaining their independence with the help from such heroes as Miss Liberty Waltz, a brave red, white and blue wearing female freedom fighter. Also James Reed, the Tomahawker and young Dan Boaz. These two wore buckskins and raccoon hats, becoming legends along side Daniel Boone and Davy Crocket.
* Circa 1790: The Envoy, one of the many messengers through out time struggles to get a message to the time traveling Goldeneyed and Lisa. He informs them about the current Shaper of Worlds had renounced his office, to be human once again. He intended to harness the secret of Lair Island. Wilbur Parody was the Shaper’s name.
19th Century, Western Migration Period (1800’s):
NOTE: This particular century was filled with events and people whose lives affect the future greatly. The listings will overlap since these events did the same.
* A red headed infant losses it’s settler parents and is raised by Blackfoot Indians. He becomes Flamehair, the Blackfoot Warrior. (No relation to Nats!)
* Circa 1811: The main wing of the Lair Mansion was built as the meeting place for the League of Improbable Gentlemen, a group of adventurers whose origin is yet to be on file. Headley Valentine was the club secretary.
* Ancient Monk, Hon Kon Fooee finds the yellow Meteor in the Tibetan Mountains. He forges a bracelet out of it. Turns evil. Finally dies thanks to his own corruption.
* Circa 1840’s-1880‘s: The western migration begins and continues as thousands of people head for the vast western half of the U.S. The Pony Express carries messages to the settlers. One of these legendary riders happens to be one of the Messengers; he’s called the Rider. The famous lawman known as Jonathan Reed became known as Thunder Reed to any foe on the other side of his six shooters. Towards the end of this century his two sons move east and become drawn up in Wilbur Parody’s plans.
* Circa 1860’s: The Civil War rages in the United States of America. Brother fights brother in this bloody battle. Southern general Vergil Salvage would send many to their deaths. Among the soldiers were a young Blanchford Bertram as well as Jonah Burch.
* Circa late 1860’s: After the war, a soldier whom had his face horribly scared becomes a soldier of fortune. Fighting such evil men like El Pappochronic, the legendary gun fighter called Jonah Burch defends the innocent while taking down the lawless.
* Circa 1870’s Colonel Blanchford Bertram, a retired U.S. Cavalry officer, goes out into the world to explore. Finds Knifey in the hidden Ape City in Africa. He goes on many adventures as a world traveler. Joins the League of Improbable Gentlemen.
* Circa 1859-1879: On the high plains and dangerous frontier lands of the post-Civil War American West, Jezebel “Jesse” O’Hare, the LocoQuick-DrawSarsaparillaOutlaw!, posed as a man and drew her pistols for the cause of justice, standing up for settlers, immigrant laborers, and Redskins alike, even when the local lawmen were dead set against seeing them get their fair due, but before too long, all those who had done wrong learned to fear the thunder of her unstoppable guns.
* Circa 1860’s-1880’s: There were other western heroes at this time just like Jonah, Jesse and Thunder. It seemed for thirty years the western United States was crawling with heroes, trying to right wrongs. Maybe it’s because of the total lawlessness that covered the land. There were the Trigger Twin Boys, Rick and Bryan Forman, working together as joint sheriffs. Then there was that devil-may-care ladies man and expert gambler known as Daniel Irving, AKA Badlash. The first female law officer was the tough as nails Cinnamon Sheperdson. Maxie Pepperson, another woman of the gun, was known as Madam Colt. The Butler Kid served up justice and bullets. The black wearing Night Falcon wore a mask to protect his identity, as did the Two-Gun Hat. The mysterious Night Ghost was always thought to be a real ghost, defending the innocent while riding his ghost horse and not wearing pants. Lawman Sheriff Dirk fought injustice until a portal sent him to another time, never to return. Inventor and traveling medicine peddler Rich Bakerson created crude lumbering armor and became RAW-150. The eastern banker by the name of Lazarus Zane was killed by bandits, only to have an Indian shaman bring him back to life as El Devil. The heroes weren’t only among the white man, as other heroes sprung forth within the Indian nations. There was Shifting Bow, whom found a portal to another world and became the Warrior of Two Places. The first Indian lawman was Boom Boom Wick who fought prejudice on the plains with dynamite; he himself was ¼ English. But the most famous Native American hero was the half English/half Apache warrior, despised by both sides, Bastion Bear AKA the Scalpchopper.
* During this time the No Girl’s Club in their time machine called Aunt Sally, appear for a short time.
* Dr. Hakenfakir was murdered while exploring a lead to the mysterious Floating Island of Chemmis. By a serious of curious coincidences he had just unearthed one of the Egyptian staffs of life and death from its Syrian tomb, and this granted him a new half-life so long as he retained it. This was the cane that was the only remaining bit of technology from The Second Oldest Living Alien Race.
* Circa late 1870’s, 1880’s and 1890’s: The League of Improbable Gentlemen membership includes Colonel Blanchford Bertram, Sir Mumphrey Wilton, Hagatha Darkness (of the Darkness line), Lance Runner, Dr. Hakenfakir and Hastings Vernal (the next in the long line of HV heroes). Many more adventures are had by all. Wilton acquired his temporal pocket watch from the sinister Madame Symmetry of Synchronicity during this time. Mumphrey and Hagatha get close. She becomes pregnant with his child. He doesn’t know it yet. The LIOG had a butler named Jakes (a closet hunchback), and a young page called Hopkins. Helmut Zemo and Brain Butcher were among their foes. The later used something called Serious Matter, which would turn up later on.
* Perfection O’Toole is the current Emissary of Order.
Victorian Period and the Beginning of the 20th Century (early 1900’s):
* The next Messenger is the English Greyhound.
* Wilbur Parody is active at this time. He had various plans for Universal conquest. At different times he has held the cosmic offices of Shaper of Worlds, Chronicler of Stories, and Destroyer of Tales - the only person ever to do all three jobs. Normally when an office holder retires they lose all the special knowledge their office provides, but Parody overcame that by creating three Books of Prophesy (of which one has been found and fulfilled, one is held by the Order of the Observing Eye, and a third has never been located) in which he recorded his knowledge before resigning. Presumably acting on his newfound knowledge, the now-human-again Parody came to the small town which would one day be renamed Paradopolis then Paradopolis after him sometime before 1820 and helped turn it into the major metropolis it has now become. Back then it was overshadowed by the GothemMetropolis York; now it has surpassed it as if it has drained all the life and light from the older settlement. Parody tapped the power of the sleeping Elder Being Shabba'Dhabba'Dhu whom the Celestians had left as one of the guardians of the Lair Isle (also named Parody Isle) and maintained his grasp on the city until sometime after 1882, when he mysteriously vanished. While he was active future heroes Lisa and Goldeneyed and later the entire Lair Legion plus a few foiled various plans of his. Parody also formed the Cultists of Lugosa, worshippers of Shab’adabba’Dhu, the Groper out of Grossness.
* Circa 1879-1899: In Victorian London, Phineas Quimby, the EccentricEtherInvestigatorInventor!, ran his own detective agency, solving mysteries and pursuing nefarious rascals through the fog-cloaked city with the aid of his astounding inventions, which were powered by the mysterious Ether of Improbability that he had discovered, and even served a term in the League of Improbable Gentlemen before disappearing into the void of the unknown himself. He had a companion and chronicler by the name of Fogherty. Many people suspected that Quimby and his flat mate “Froggy” Fogherty were more than friends. Few realized that Fogherty was actually the cross-dressing Lady Alicia Redmayne. Quimby and Redmayne vanished in the early years of the 20th century testing an experimental time-sled.
* Droooopi of the planet Dawg becomes the next Captain Marbles.
* Access (from the future) helps out the League of Improbable Gentlemen.
* Dr. Christopher Waltz found himself tied to many an adventure.
* Circa 1897: Prince Dracu and several notorious monsters make a pact with Mr. Lucifer. They sacrifice two mortals, thereby gaining the ability to come back to life just over a hundred years later, to take over the world.
* Sir Mumphry Wilson meets his future wife Madge.
* Circa 1911: The first of the three Yellow Flashlights, Ab’n Surrup, arrives in this year. Begins his lone defense of the galaxy.
* Circa 1899-1919: QueerJumbledJungleQueen! (Shauna Naughton, a.k.a. Sha-Na-Na)
At the turn of the century, the safari expedition ship containing Shauna Naughton, the daughter of the famous zoologist and botanist, as well as the girl who would come to be known as Sha-Na-Na, the QueerJumbledJungleQueen!, crashed upon the rocky shores of the Savage Park, a hidden island where the flora and fauna of all eras in Earth’s history co-mingled, from the dinosaurs of the Triassic period to the ancestors of mankind who had died out during the Ice Age, and it was in this lost world that Sha-Na-Na acquired honey-yellow skin and uncanny abilities of mind and body from eating the sugary-sweet native fruits, and eventually became queen of all the tribes that inhabited in this strange realm.
* Circa 1912: the ship called Titanic sinks, few survive. One lone woman clutches on to a piece of splintered wood and almost drowns until the Lurker rescued her. Her name is Leeta. She is given time/space warping abilities, energy blasts and flight. She becomes the Lurker’s faithful aid, Humdinger.
* Perfection O’Toole died in 1912 and was replaced by a new Emissary of Order.
* Circa 1914: World War I erupts. Vergil Salvage causes more problems, working for Germany at the time. Another foe is the Enemy Zemo who takes the battle to the air. Anthony Wick, the Balloon Popper, in his Sopwith Camel performs various aerial acts against the enemy.
* Circa 1919-1939: CacklingCappuccinoSupernaturalSleuth! (Gabriel Ravenscroft)
In the wake of the First World War, Gabriel Ravenscroft, the CacklingCappuccinoSupernaturalSleuth!, was so horrified by the degree of meaningless death that he had seen as a soldier that he abandoned his family fortune and his father’s lucrative medical practice, journeying to the Far East to study with Oriental mystics, and returning to America as a forensics examiner in the city’s police department, with a secret identity as a shadowy urban avenger during the night … one who was now sought out by that dedicated adversary of the CrazySugarSuperHero! line, the Ass-Raping Ninjas, whom he had encountered in his travels to Asia.
* Circa 1927: Elliot Natson takes out mobsters in this prohibition era.
* Ardi Arrdvarrc of the planet Pynk P’ntha becomes the next Captain Marbles.
* Circa 1932: Stock market crash, sending the U.S. into the great depression. Lost jobs and starving people bring in a great need for heroes. Nazi-sympathizer Vergil Salvage begins his plans for world conquest in the U.S.
World War II Era, the Golden Age (1938-1945):
* Circa 1938: Adolph Hitler invades Poland starting off World War II.
* Same year the mysterious stage magician known as Henry Vatarra appears, stopping criminals at every turn. The Sect of Buto has a new champion as well, following in the footsteps of others; the deadly Cobra follows her own agenda. Then Wes Dodson takes up his gas mask and Sleepy-Gun and becomes the Sandsleeper.
* Circa 1939-1949: Rugged archaeologist and anthropologist Terrance “Terry” Lucas, the CrazySugarBlast-OffLad!, unearthed the ancient jet-pack, helmet and shield that he would wear as a high-flying invader of Japanazi territory, rocketeering alongside his allies, he did his best to fight the Axis before America entered the war. Then after he and his sidekick, U.S. Army Air Corps Corporal Charles “Charlie” Smiling Coyote, and his future wife, U.S. Naval Reserve WAVES Ensign Patricia Pike, enlisted and pushed back the Axis aggression of Baron Zemo, Count Wolfgang Fokker, and Molestro the Mirthless, sensei supreme of both the Ass-Raping Ninjas AND the Sinister Oriental Stereotypes (SOS).
* Circa 1939: thanks to the legendary CrazySugarBlast-OffLad! Other men and women felt inspired to done cape and cowl to fight the wrongs in this pre-war America. There was the tiny Dolly, and the knowledgeable 40’s Fan. Hank Batistua gets an iron exoskeleton lacing his bones, making him stronger and faster. He goes behind enemy lines as Sgt. Iron, doing what he could even though America hadn’t entered the war yet, after Tim Garret gets an experimental bag of coffee beans spilled on him he gains super speed. Garret, as Fast Service became a legend, as the Worlds Fastest Butler. The super strong Crusher found and stopped Nazi spies, finally taking his one-man war across the sea. Ca Hutow and his mate, Sha Hutow, are reincarnated as Carter Hallmark and Sherry Sandermont, Pigeonman and Pigeongirl, whom fought modern crimes with weapons of the past. The mysterious Outerspecter brought fear to the hearts of evildoers while Rex Timer used his Maybelin pills to gain extra strength and speed for only an hour at a time as the Hourly Crusader. Teenage Jonny Yoyo stumbled upon a magical genie that helps young Jonny anytime the lad says the magic words “Hey Yo”. The next in line of angelic earth bound messengers, Postcard, showed that his 4-foot height was never a deterrent against stopping crime and delivering messages. The high flying Black Falcon, after being raised by falcons, fought from the skies while Burning Boy did his level best to melt the mad scientist’s evil inventions when ever he could. Egyptologist Clark Neilsonny found the golden Helmet of Omni and became the enigmatic Dr. Mystery while Scott Allen found an old bracelet that was glowing eerily yellow. Placing it on he realized he could create energy objects to use to defend his home city, GothemMetropolis York. Scott becomes Mr. Amazing. A portal opens from the old west, stranding Sheriff Dirk in this time. He picks up his life, fighting crime with his lightning fast six-shooters. Hatman fights behind enemy lines with his trick hats, just like Sgt. Iron and Crusher, even before the U.S gets involved. The mysterious Dr. Dark-night begins his war on crime.
* The Fair Phantom spotted at the 1939 Worlds Fair. He would later be known as Wangmundo. In the Pacific another creature was seen. This aquatic being smashed enemy U-Boats and subs. It was some kind of giant sea-monkey. Men called it… Bongjiii.
* Circa 1940: the year kicks off with a secret mission from President Franklin Delanor Roosevelt to various heroes (then called Mystery Men) to try and stop Hitler from using the Spear of Dentistry. He assembles Dr. Dark-night, Mr. Amazing, Fast Service and Dr. Mystery whom all head for Berlin. They are captured and Dr. Mystery sends out a spell for help. Pigeonman, Sandsleeper, Postcard, Hourly Crusader and the Outerspecter all lend their assistance. The heroes’ escape but not before Hitler uses the Spear of Dentistry to bring in teeth-controlled Ausgardian Valcuries. These women escort a bomb to Washington and if not for the timely arrival of CrazySugarBlast-OffLad! Washington would’ve been destroyed. The heroes form a team that becomes legendary from that moment on. They become the Lair Society of Justice. Dr. Dark-night and CrazySugarBlast-OffLad! become honorary members.
* Later that year more heroes start their careers. The first one would bring inspiration to thousands of men and women. Roger Stevens gets imbued with the Soup or Soldier Serum, turning him into American Joe. Along with Crusher, 40’s Fan and Burning Boy, he was sent to enemy lines to help the suffering people across the sea. The mightiest of amazons, Historia001 comes to Man’s World to fight against the Axis threat. Sir Valiant arrives after being sent from the middle ages. He takes up his sword against spies and the common thugs. Quinton Olivia is marooned on a tiny island and teaches himself archery to survive. Ted Forman develops a rod that projects energy and becomes Power Rod. The Lair Society of Justice set up shop in a brownstone building in GothemMetropolis York. Henry Vatarra offers them a headquarters on Parody Isle but they turn it down. The new hero known as the Beam enlists in the Navy and is stationed in Hawaii where he meets the hero called the Plaid Bee. The FBI recruits reformed criminal turned stretchable sleuth and Mystery Man, Elastic Guy. Sgt. Iron is sent home side, despite his protests, to help the country develop machines of war. Sandra Forman dons her Shadow-Farce beam and becomes Ghostgirl. Boxing champ Ted Roberts fights crime as WildHare. Right after Jonny Yoyo joins the Lair Society of Justice the entire membership, plus Power Rod and WildHare, get involved in a mission to save several men from the evil wizard Ians Carcass. Through this mission they all gain a shard of his essence, allowing them to live longer. The two new heroes join the LSJ. The lonely robot with the human brain, Fakeman, starts to patrol Paradopolis, as does the new hero Guardmaster.
* Circa 1941: Quinton Olivia is rescued and uses his archery skills to become GoldenBow. He soon gets a sidekick as orphan Roy Bastion is taken in and taught everything Quinton knows. Roy comes naturally to it and becomes Archer boy. Frank Wick becomes explosive, becoming the Human Fart. Heroes like the Matador and Arachnid begin their crime fighting careers while young reporter John Swiftman says an ancient math equation and gains super speed, becoming Quickstreak. Another reporter swims the English Channel as well as fights of Nazi spies and teams up with British heroes Union Jake and Sir Mumphrey Wilson (the very same one from the League of Improbable Gentlemen). Lisa Lawrence does all this before becoming the American heroine, Liberty Lis. Two heroes independently start crime fighting careers as the ManManHunter. Sir Valiant forms a team along with GoldenBow, Archer boy, Sheriff Dirk, the two new heroes Star-Spangled Weedboy and Cavy and the mysterious Cobra. They become the Seven Super Guys. Sandsleeper changes his costume and gains Sleepy the snoring boy as a partner. Billy Brunsen finds the ancient Egyptian Wizard Gahh and thanks to Gahh becomes Captain Marbles by saying the wizards name; Gail, Atlas, Athena, Hermes; thus giving him all four of those Gods powers. This all happens totally unrelated to Eggo’s Captain Marble. Shifter the Sorcerer performs feats of magic while Hagatha Darkness becomes, for a short time, Madam Sorceress. Unknown to anyone the Austernal known as Sersi becomes Golden Girl.
* December 7, 1941: Late that year two events occur that forever changes everything. 1) The Japanese attack Pearl Harbor, killing servicemen and sinking ships. The Plaid Bee dies during this event. The time traveler Justin Tyme arrives, a stray bullet hits his timer device and along with the Beam is transported to the following year. 2) The Lair Society of Justice (except three) and Historia001 are captured by another time traveler by the name of Pure Digaton. FDR sends Liberty Lis, Quickstreak, Fakeman, Elasticguy, Sir Valiant, Ghostgirl, Pigeonman, Dr. Dark-night, and Postcard to find them. Burning Boy’s sister Danette discovers she has super powers and becomes Miss Burner. These heroes send Pure Digaton back to the future but find them selves, and the rescued LSJ members, without a memory of what happened. The gathered heroes overhear President Roosevelt call this date a day that shall live in infamy. He then calls ALL mystery men to form into one home front protecting force, the All-Star Winner’s Squadron. America enters the war. All the heroes that were gathered after their first mission headed towards Japan. They soon found that any of their number that had magic or were susceptible to magic became instant Axis sympathizers. The rest were able to lead the mind-controlled heroes out of Axis territory where they regained their senses. It turned out that Hitler used the Spear of Dentistry to control any magical heroes that entered Axis territory.
* Circa 1942: Many heroes fight for freedom against the tyranny of Hitler, Tojo, and Mussolini. All the members of the Lair Society of Justice that could enlist enlisted. Across the Pacific Ocean Dragonmaster and Tigerboy fought the Japanese wherever they could. American Joe and the newly formed Invaders for Freedom (Crusher, Burning Boy, 40's fan and Spunky, Joe’s partner) take the war to the Axis shores. Heroes weren’t just found in costumes and masks. Dan Drury and his Howlin' Joes of Sleazy Company tore the enemy apart, as did LT. Jason Stuart and his Spooky Jeep. The high flying, multi-nation piloted DarkHwks flew over enemy lines while Hatman took to the ground level conflicts, making sure the Allis POW’s could escape. Hatman would meet the now overseas CrazySugarBlast-OffLad! and the two would become a great team. Horrid villains like Baron Zemo, Vergil Salvage, and Baron Buttzcreg caused so much pain and agony that the Invaders for Freedom had to recruit more members from the home front. Ghostgirl, Dolly, the Human Fart, Black Falcon, the Beam, The Matador and the sea-creature known as Bongjiii all joined their ranks. During this event the time traveler Justin Tyme and the hero known as the Beam had reappeared. They joined the All Star Winner’s Squadron and both were present for the Invaders for Freedom’s recruitment. The Matador was killed on this mission so the team rechristened itself, the Golden Age Matadors (GAMs for short). Dolly mysteriously disappeared at this time. A young newly orphaned Jimmy Katz became a mascot for the ASWS, becoming Little Kid Blue. He had no super powers but did have great spunk.
* During this time the No Girl’s Club in their time machine called Aunt Sally, appear for a short time.
* Hatman forms the Liberty Lair.
* Circa 1943-1945: The war continued till the Allies won. Many lost their lives. The time traveling Messenger, from the future, attacked Hitler. Both men were sent to the future. American Joe is thought dead after he falls into the arctic northern waters.
* Circa 1945: Believing that the Paradox Stranger has gone too far once too often in creating "rehearsal" sets of lair Legion-like superheroes, the Triumvirate combine to imprison him (he remains exiled until the end of the 20th century). In the next few years they "weed out" the WW2 mystery men and make the world forget them, until in the modern age their existence is hardly ever acknowledged, just as all the other super hero groupings though history have been forgotten beyond their own era.
* Circa 1946-1949: With the war over, most of the Mystery Men retired. Only a few remained active.
* Circa 1948: Pigeonman and Pigeongirl die while trying to stop Du Ugli, the possessed Priest of the Sons of Set (who is actually Kuu Kuu Ka Chu). The Lair Society mourns their death.
* Circa 1949: The Seven Super-Guys battle Noobeloose. With Cobra either dead or missing during the war the membership is down to six. Sir Valiant is sent back to his time, Cavy is killed; GoldenBow, Sheriff Dirk and Star-Spangled Weedboy are lost through time. Archer Boy is all that’s left. Also in this year, lab janitor Pure Digaton steals Professor Zeezrom’s time machine and travels back a few years to give the Lair Society of Justice a hard time.
Silver Age- Post Golden Age, Pre Modern Age (1945-1985):
* Paranoia sweeps through the land. With a growing deep distrust of possible communists, the United States government orders the Lair Society of Justice to either reveal their identities or disband. They do the later.
* To deal with foreign threats the government organizes S.P.U.D. (Super-menace Principal Undercover Directorate). They appoint Dan Drury as acting director.
* Circa 1949-1959: During the height of the Fifties Cold War paranoia, British secret agent and atomic scientist Ian Isaac Bradbury, the AutisticAtomicSci-FiSpy!, used his nuclear energy-related powers and charm with the ladies to foil the diabolical plots of the global terrorist organization, S.O.D.O.M.Y., employing the periodic technological aid of Doctor Xeno Phobia, an anonymous scientist who apparently manufactured top-secret military weapons for the United States government, and occasionally even finding time to trade both blows and bedroom liaisons with the Cobra, a slinky and sinister mercenary assassin from the Sect of Buto, who was often employed by S.O.D.O.M.Y. to carry out their nefarious ends.
* Dr. Mystery retires within his stone Keep, waiting for the time when he will be needed. His wife is glad for the inactivity.
* The Janus begins the creation of the existence-spanning CrazySugarCosmicIconoclastCollective! All they need is a leader.
* Circa 1962: Yellow Flashlight Ab’n Surrup crash lands on Earth. He gives his Flashlight Battery and Power Thimble to Jordan Howl as he dies from the crash. Howl becomes the new Yellow Flashlight*
* Circa 1964: After dying in a horrible nose picking accident, Ardi Arrdvarrc was replaced as Captain Marbles by Ma-Balonii from the planet Beatit.
* Circa 1959-1969: In the decade before the Apollo crew landed on the Moon, crack-shot astrophysicist Carter Armstrong, the CrazySugarCosmicIconoclast!, flew an experimental rocket ship into outer space to investigate an inexplicable phenomenon occurring just above Earth’s atmosphere, and was infused with the energies which the Janus had sought to return to their proper little container ever since the birth of the universe, but instead of demanding that Armstrong return the Impossibilityium he had inadvertently stolen from them, the Janus appointed him the leader of an existence-spanning CrazySugarCosmicIconoclastCollective!, whose mission it would be to maintain Order in the Chaos that was the Parodyverse, against such threats as the Plant People and other would-be universe conquerors … but as Armstrong’s super villain arch-enemy, Doctor Xeno Phobia, the Extraterrestrial Enigma, realized all too well, agents of Chaos CAN’T maintain Order, simply by the nature of who and what they are, and the CrazySugarCosmicIconoclastCollective! nearly destroyed the universe, before it was mercifully disbanded.
* During the time of the CrazySugarCosmicIconoclastCollective!, the general feeling in space was that if you didn’t belong to some kind of heroic heritage, like the CSCIC! or the Captain Marbles legacy, you amounted to nothing. Jordan Howl becomes very famous as he took on such foes as Hector Hameater, Hollywood Star and Greenface.
* The Plant People work their menace at this point in time with Doctor Phobia, their ally.
* Circa 1967: CrazySugarCosmicIconoclast!, the Yellow Flashlight, Captain Marbles and two retired heroes (Mr. Amazing and Dr. Mystery) were involved in an adventure that somehow destroyed the Helmet of Omni, freeing the Omnisoul and killing Clark Neilsonny.
* Jordan Howl was ruined as his life fell apart. He walked away from the responsibility of being a Yellow Flashlight. Stew Johnson, an African American policeman finds the Power Thimble and Flashlight Battery in a dumpster and becomes the new Yellow Flashlight.
* Circa 1968: The Plant People kill Stew Johnson, the Yellow Flashlight, this sends Mr. Amazing back into retirement. Before he goes though, he gives Stew’s Flashlight Battery and Power Thimble back to Jordan Howl.
* Circa 1969: the CrazySugarCosmicIconoclastCollective! nearly destroyed the universe, but instead it was disbanded. This leaves Ma-Balonii as the sole Protector of the Universe because the Yellow Flashlight decides to stay on Earth. This same year a new CrazySurgarHero appeared on Earth.
* Circa 1969-1979: In the blaxploitation and monster movie-dominated era of the swinging’ seventies, a black private eye who was a sex machine to all the chicks, Ebony Koffey, the MachoMartial-ArtsDemonicDetective!, used the powers he had gained from being forced to bargain with Mefrothto, the then-Prince of Fibs, to save the lives of his loved ones, and subsequently rebelled against his infernal master. He dispatched countless legions of Mefrothto’s minions’ back to the pit with his trademark kung-fu kicks and karate chops. He was a bad Mo Fo. Shut yo mouth!
* Circa 1977: The last Messenger time travels to this year with Adolph Hitler. He kills Hitler and then continues through time.
* Ma-Balonii, the current and most famous Captain Marbles, begins his constant conflicts with Dark Thugos, the tyrant of the Sol Empire. A ruthless tyrant who rules another universe.
* Renaissance Man and the Fashion Fairy begin their costumed careers. Man of Armor starts out his career as well. The Olympian God, Hermes, comes to Earth.
* Circa 1979-1989: In the post-Vietnam years of Reaganomics and Rambo, hard-bitten veteran and highly decorated police officer Howard M. Murdock, the InsaneCaffeineRevengeSoldier!, volunteered for a highly classified genetic experiment, which endowed him with powerful physical mutations, thereby allowing him to finally do what he had always wanted to do, and clean up the grim and gritty metropolis, purifying it of its crime and corruption by donning a leather smiley-face mask and firing quips at hoodlums, dirty cops, and greedy officials, before shooting them all in the head … and he did a pretty comprehensive job of it, too, before he was tracked down, and ultimately defeated, by the backroom machinations of the Order of Order.
* The Hooded Hood fathering twins with the Amazon Queen Rigantona.
* Circa 1980: Hagatha Darkness' daughter (Vervain Darkness) gives birth to a daughter, fathered by Xander. She then flees with the baby only days old.
* Circa fifteen years ago: From the few iconic heroes of the era a new team is formed, the Valiant Vanguard. Co-founded by Renaissance Man and his wife the Fashion Fairy, as well as the Yellow Flashlight, Hermes and Man of Armor, plus a few more, the team becomes a legend. Not since the Lair Society of Justice has there been such a fine gathering of heroes. Various heroes and heroines like She-Bop, Valhalen Voyeur, One-gloved Wonder, Bruce Frankenstein, Boygirl, Captain Republican, Crimson Streaker and quite a few others joined during the teams seven year run.
* In Southern California a new hero begins his career. He’s called the Prizefighter.
* Circa thirteen years ago: the Lair Society of Justice comes out of retirement to team up with the Valiant Vanguard. They team up annually for four years until the evil wizard Ians Carcass returns and kills some of the LSJ. The older team goes into retirement.
The Modern Era, Pre-Year One (Eleven years before present - five years before present):
* Circa ten years ago: the Valiant Vanguard disbanded due to awful circumstances when the Renaissance Man led the majority of the Valiant Vanguard into an ambush that became wholesale slaughter. Yellow Flashlight dies, his Power Thimble destroyed and his Flashlight Battery taken by the Omnisoul for later. Some heroes survived but most were either injured so badly that the prospect of their returning to the superhero life became something of a medical impossibility, OR they were so emotionally traumatized by the loss of their teammates that they hung up the capes and cowls for good. Among those who retired permanently was the Renaissance Man himself, who decided that he had no business playing at costumed crime-fighting, and instead returned to his scientific researches. His ex-wife, the Fashion Fairy also decided to turn away from heroics as well.
* Circa 1989-1999: In the mercifully brief decade of comic book collecting when Rob Liefeld was king of the hill, the nameless refugee from a possible alternate future, the RetroRebootWastelandsWanderer!, traveled back in time to the modern day, to prevent the world from becoming the hellish, post-apocalyptic nightmare he had grown up in, which was composed of equal parts Mad Max and The Terminator, except that every action he took in the present day affected the history he had originated from in the future, so that he was constantly and unintentionally revising his own continuity with every move he made, becoming an effect of his own cause, perpetually “retconing” HIMSELF as he tirelessly struggled to save the future, retroactively acquiring a battle-scarred eye, a techno-organic arm, and an indecipherably complicated origin story - becoming the ConfusedContinuityWastelandsWanderer!, the OrigamiOriginWarpedWarrior!, and the PossiblePostapocalypticTimestreamTwister!, among countless others - until the moment that he had at last eliminated any possibility of the reality he had known from coming true … and, as a logical consequence of finally succeeding in his lifelong mission, he erased himself from existence, before he’d ever had a chance to come into being.
* The Parodyverse gains its greatest hero; a butler known as Jarvis makes his first appearance. He becomes the inspiration for would be heroes everywhere.
* Prizefighter meets his love, Poisyn.
* The Dark Knight starts to prowl GothemMetropolis York. A new hero appears in Paradopolis by the name of Jarvis. Andrew Dean possesses the evil dragon Fin Fang Foom.
* Scott Asher discovers he can travel through alternate universes when various heroes from the DC and Marvel Universes appear in the Parodyverse. At his sister’s prompting he becomes Access, the Guardian of the Universes.
* Circa five years ago: PrizeFighter was pondering retirement when the new Messenger first appears this year. He wanted to leave a legacy with Messenger by training him as an apprentice.
* Space Ghost appears in Gothametropolis New York's disco rave scene in the ever-popular "Amphetamines Ball" as regular club member. He begins popping all over the town, in such places as "The Coffee Shop With No Name" and begins publishing the Gothametropolis York Village Weekly News, a cross between the New York Times, the Inquirer, and Cracked magazine.
* Taught by his father, then honing those skills of archery at the carnival where he lived and worked, Carl Bastion gets inspired by reports of the hero called Jarvis. He leaves the Carney and sets out to be a hero, taking his carnival name of Trickshot as his hero name. The Huntsman becomes his greatest foe.
* Access discovers he can travel through time.
* Space Ghost tries his hand at stand up comedy, gets a TV show, show gets canceled, hits the bottle. The Robitussin cough syrup bottle that is. Space Ghost then runs for mayor of Gothametropolis, while leading the battle to legalize Robitussin, an already legal substance. He then loses the election to whomever.
* Jarvis meets Lo-Chi, battling Zemo, and gaining the Jarvis Cosmic.
* A radioactive lab rabbit bites Jack and Jackie Roberts. They discover they have powers. He becomes Jack Rabbit, she keeps out of the hero life.
* Carl Bastion and Natalina Rominova are married. He has no clue where her true allegiance lay.
Year One (Five Years Before Present):
The current years are filled with many sagas that are but slightly mentioned here. As more are recorded they will be included here.
* This is where the event took place when Jarvis accidentally created an alternate reality when his cosmic powers go out of control. The universe Sigmanet is affected by the energy wave and merges with his, to form the AMB Universe. How this would fit into the history of the Parodyverse remains to be explained.
* The modern age of heroes started with Jarvis, Lisa, spiffy, and NTU-150 banding together to stop Peter Von Doom from taking over the world. The Twin Parody Towers loose one tower. Lisa, spiffy, and NTU-150 all become heroes for the first time. Lisa, spiffy and NTU-150 all become heroes for the first time.
* The League of Regulars (LOR) meet for the first time - Jarvis, Lisa, spiffy, NTU-150 are the original members. The simple man known as Visionary, along with his clever wife, Cheryl, are greatly involved with the team. The Dark Knight is involved in the background and the mysterious Hollywood V appears frequently.
* Trickshot is duped by his wife, Natalina Rominova, into allowing Baron Zemo to gain an edge. Trickshot is then killed. This act causes Rominova to switch sides and join SPUD.
* The RetroRebootWastelandsWanderer! disappears.
* Zemo gathers Baroness Heike Zemo, the Grim Reaper, The Man Who Wasn't There, Jam, Pegasus, Wonderbooster, Venom, and the evil Makluan dragon known as Fin Fang Foom. They become the Scourge of the BZL (a.k.a. the League of Left-Outs). Through a battle with the LOR Zemo and company loose, starting an enmity that will last a long time. Young Andrew Dean takes on Fin Fang Foom and wins by taking control of the Makluan, thereby becoming him and starting his career as a hero. He joins the LOR.
* Access teams up with the newly formed LOR, helping them stop Starro, an alien villain from the DC Universe from conquering the Parodyverse. No one remembers the event.
* The alien thought being known as Yo comes to Earth and merges with a woman scientist named Pillar.
* The origin of Starseed.
* The Huntmaster, Trickshot's foe, starts his feud with Jack Rabbit.
* Gaven gets the staff and becomes Donar.
* TV talk show host Space Ghost, finds his show, Coast-to-Coast With Space Ghost canceled.
* Jay Boaz -soon to be known as the Hatman - meets Hagatha Darkness' granddaughter, Whitney, on his summer vacation and the two fall in love.
* Zemo becomes Blofish’s ally.
* The people of the surface world of Earth fist find out about the realm of the Sea Monkeys as their leader, Banjooo, declares war on surface world. During this adventure the LOR discover the Abhumans, Austernals, and Turquoise Area of the Moon. Banjooo becomes friends with spiffy and joins the LOR.
Sersi & Rocket Raccoon both first appear in this age.
* Space Ghost hits the bottle.
* Jack Rabbit finds himself teaming up with various heroes on a monthly fashion at this time, starting with a team up with Jarvis.
* During this time the No Girl’s Club in their time machine called Aunt Sally, appear from a few years in the future. These heroes fight LOR members Jarvis, Lisa, NTU-150, spiffy, and Banjooo. These five have no memory of this battle, a fact that remains unexplained.
* Access gets the help of the LOR to stop the rampaging Hulk from destroying various towns in the Parodyverse. The LOR with the help of the Fantastic Four return him to his proper universe.
* The Chronicler of Stories takes a hand in the lives of the Parodyverse heroes.
* The Anti-League first appears. The Dark Knight, Visionary, TMMWT, Starseed, and Yo join the LOR.
* Ma-Balonii, Captain Marbles, is killed by Dark Thugos, in the tyrant’s home universe. The cosmic Omnisoul stops Eggo from gaining another Captain Marbles, stating that another will soon be ready. He then makes a copy of the quantum bands. The weaker copy is taken by Eggo to Ma-Balonii’s home, Beatit. The original quantum bands are merged with the Yellow Flashlight power battery. The merged energy is contained and held for a later purpose.
* Donar meets the LOR.
* Hollywood V splinters off and creates his own team, the League of the Forgotten.
* After becoming infatuated with super-heroics, Space Ghost takes up the profession, and shortly after joins the LL.
* The Man Who Wasn’t There becomes the Shaper of Worlds.
* spiffy begins acting strangely and Jarvis loses his powers under mysterious circumstances.
Turns out spiffy became replaced by Evil spiffy, who has a fern.
* Space Ghost comes to live in Mansion closet.
* Peter Von Doom brings Doombots from the Marvel Universe and Chemo from the DC Universe into the Parodyverse. After a strange battle the villains were sent back, Peter Von Doom escaped and the whole adventure is forgotten. Among the heroes involved were Access, LOR members Lisa, Space Ghost, Fin Fang Foom, Jarvis and NTU-150, also Justice League members Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Black Canary and Flash and Avengers Scarlet Witch, Vision, Ironman and Hellcat. After the battle Access was infected with a strange shadow creature. This left an evil imprint on his soul.
* The Blofish/Zemo war: this started around three months after the formation of the LoR after Zemo sent the Confiscator to kill Zemo, but Baroness Heike Zemo was instead shot. Zemo froze Heike and thereafter sought a cure for her condition.
* spiffy turns on the Regulars and joins the League of Left-Outs, killing two poor dogs in the process.
* Zemo’s revenge upon the world begins.
* NTU-150 is wounded in battle and takes on a hologram form while recovering.
* The Great Parody Flood occurs, in the ensuing cosmic upheavals of continuity the AMB is split in half, creating the Parodyverse, and is shunted through reality into a place called Baron Zemo's Lair. Whether this is still the case remains unknown. The Hooded Hood later caused various retcons to the time stream so there is much that needs explaining.
* Donar joins the LOR.
* NTU-150 fully recovers and resumes an active role in the League.
* Messenger starts to operate in Paradopolis.
* Zane saves a bum from getting hit in the street by a diesel. The bum gives Zane the DarkHwk amulet that shortly afterward turns him into the DarkHwk. DH becomes a superhero fighting crime and villains.
* Manipulations of Wilbur Parody become evident to Shaper & Chronicler.
* spiffy is revealed to be working for a dark, mysterious figure called the Dark, Mysterious Figure.
* The Cosmic Cube makes an odd appearance and it ends up in spiffy's hands.
* spiffy conquers France out of boredom and becomes its new ruler.
* Dark, Mysterious Figure warns spiffy several times to relinquish control of France and when he fails to comply, spiffy is seemingly killed.
* Lisa has hextuplets. Headaches ensue.
* League of Irregulars and the League of the Left-Ins arrive in the Parodyverse and are eventually defeated. Anti-Jarvis, their leader, is seemingly destroyed, but has shown up later on.
* spiffy appears alive and well and it is revealed that he had been replaced by an evil version of himself early on.
* John Byrne attempts to take over the Parodyverse is thwarted at the cost of the Dark Knight's life.
* The Man Who Wasn't There is cloned and his clone joins the League of Regulars. He is booted off the team due to a misunderstanding about a winning lottery ticket and this leads to a series of events culminating in the birth of Carrington, the Shaper of Worlds.
* The League of Regulars took on the Obliterator, and a number of comic book creators.
* Lisa has hextuplets. Massive headaches ensue.
* Due to the manipulations of Virtual Zemo, one of the remaining Antiversers, an International Incident ensues and the League of Regulars meets Akiko Masamune, mob boss of the Yakuza.
* Jack Rabbit finds himself deep in trouble as he and Messenger take on the mob. After this event Jack decides to act more exclusively solo.
* The Chronicler of Stories appears with no explanation and joins the League as a consultant. He is later revealed to be the resurrected Dark Knight, though the circumstances surrounding these events are still unclear.
* Baron Zemo renames the Left-Outs at the behest of Pegasus, creating the confusing Scourge of Baron Zemo's Lair.
* Jarvis decides to change the League of Regulars' name as well, and after many debates they are re-christened the Lair Legion.
* The LL learns of DarkHwk and recruits him into the LL.
Year Two (Four Years Before Present):
* The Parody Master arrives in the Parodyverse and the Parody Wars ensue. He is eventually defeated and vows that he will one day crush the Legion.
* spiffy finds out that his evil self was killed and gets annoyed that the Legion didn't bother to investigate any further. He sets off on his own. * A series of events leads up to spiffy confronting his evil self with the help of the Lair Legion, and evil spiffy is finally brought down by Frank.
* Jay and Whitney are reunited, only to be separated by her trysts with the family's Demon Lover and her desperate grandmother's attempts to save Whitney from making her mother's mistakes.
* spiffy buys a mansion full of beavers for some odd reason.
* Messenger, Sersi and Rocket Raccoon join the Lair Legion.
* Bubba, spiffy's alternate reality self, appears in the Parodyverse and falls in love with Lisa. Jarvis is angered and resigns from the Lair Legion.
* Lisa is kidnapped by Lo-Chi, Jarvis' estranged ex-wife, and Jarvis rescues her, re-joining the Lair Legion and rekindling their romance.
* Jarvis once AGAIN breaks up with Lisa after finding out she's been cheating with him. Jarvis later saves her by sacrificing his own life to defeat the demon Abbub, an alternate reality version of Bubba.
* Yo is kidnapped and Messenger travels deep into Antarctica to rescue him from Elmer Fudd, and is pulled through a portal into Animatron, a world of cartoon characters.
* Messenger makes a pact with the time god Millenia, a fake time god, and completes several missions through time allowing him to return to his own time period. He inadvertently dooms the Parodyverse and is mystically cursed that if he dies, so does the universe.
* The android body of DarkHwk is destroyed in battle with the Rainmaker, sending Zane's consciousness back to his human body (which is in another dimension; the 'Elsewhere').
* A Mob War begins and the Lair Legion ends up in the employ of Akiko Masamune, head of the Yakuza. They retain a contract with her to this day.
* In order to get back home, Zane has his mind transferred into a synthetic body (so that he can survive the trip home). Another amulet-wielder in that dimension seemingly has sinister machinations afoot.
* After the synthetic Zane is sent home, Zane wakes up in the Elsewhere and is soon spirited away by a woman with portal abilities. Zane is then sent home but is stopped mid transit.
* Jack Rabbit looses his love, Carline, during the Mob War. He starts to move to California but winds up lost in Wisconsin.
* Synthetic Zane returns to earth and destroys Rainmaker.
* Cheryl takes a job with NASA and moves away for a time. Visionary resigns and goes on the road with Fleabot. They wind up a huge cornfield. How they returned is yet to be explained.
* The Abandoned Legion is formed to defend GothemMetropolis York. It’s membership includes spiffy, Cap, Hunter Victorious, Paste Pot Pete, Whitney Darkness (calling herself the Sorceress) and the current in the line of mysterious agents called Cobra.
* spiffy goes to hell.
* The LL telepath Tina senses that Zane's mind is different and feels he is an impostor and tells Lisa (then leader at the time). Uncertain of what to do, they decide to keep a watchful eye on Zane. They are not the only ones watching Zane.
* Jarvis returns from the dead after being resurrected by a mysterious race of beings and breaks up the wedding of Lisa and Bubba.
* Jarvis falls in love and is engaged to a woman named Courtney, who is later killed in a car accident and resurrected as the cosmic being Jury.
* A series of confusing events with the Chronicler of Stories takes place. For the full story, read the recent collected edition of Resolutions.
* Courtney's memory is erased from the mind of everyone on earth except Jarvis, who now has a deadly rival in Pallas, the Chronicler's mystical raven advisor.
* Events take place and the Chronicler once again becomes the Dark Knight.
* Overpower battles the Lair Legion and Paradopolis is destroyed with an atom bomb.
* The Legion builds a new city out of half of New GothemMetropolis York Village christened New Parody City. The dropping of a nuclear weapon nearby mysteriously causes no ill effects such as radiation poisoning.
* The Abandoned Legion has lots of adventures during this period.
* Baron Zemo builds a new underwater base out of the wreckage of Paradopolis, which he calls Oceania.
* The Great and Terrible One is accidentally created by the Shaper of Worlds and begins his long trek through space. He may or may not eventually doom the earth.
* Whitney Darkness is reunited with Jay Boaz.
* Messenger is framed for the murder of New Parody City's mayor. While he is eventually cleared, Yo's purple thought bunny sacrifices its life. Yo is not being liking uncute beings who are being hurting bunnies.
* Estranged siblings Dreamcatcher Kokopelli Foxglove and his younger sister, Gwendolyn “Wendy” Leslie, became the twin inheritors of the Impossibilityium’s trickster legacy, as CrazySugarFreakBoy! and PsychoAcidPervGirl!, the agents of Creative and Destructive Chaos, respectively, just in time for them to witness the reemergence of the Order of Order, led by The Word and his daughter, Priestess Pelopia, the Disciple of Logos, setting the vicious cycle of Wild, Weaver and Worm into motion once more.
CrazySugarFreakBoy! joins the Lair Legion.
* spiffy comes back to life thanks to Hollywood V’s sacrifice.
* The alien known as Ziles, from the planet Xnylone was exiled when she was a teen. She spends a few years traveling the universe with the spaceship she had to steal in order to save her life.
* The Canadian hero known as Hatman appears and joins the Lair Legion.
* Jarvis, Messenger and his clone the Crimson Courier are carted away to the Beginning Fields by the postman's archenemy, Mailman. The Last of the Messengers ceremony takes place. During the course of the night, the Crimson Courier is killed by Mailman. Mailman is killed by Messenger (making him the last of his kind) and after all is said and done, Messenger is dismissed from the Lair Legion for his bloodthirsty tactics by Jarvis.
* The mysterious alien known only as Pierson's Porter arrives on earth, orchestrating a series of events where Lisa is married to the Grim Reaper, who is seemingly killed by Jarvis, who is then estranged from Lisa again and the moon blows up.
* NTU-150's rogue creation Zip murders most of the Lair Legion and destroys a fair-sized chunk of New Parody City. He is eventually stopped by NTU-150, who then dies himself. The Yo's prevent the coming of a mysterious alien race who wants to destroy most of the population of Earth and appear to have been using Jarvis as an unwitting puppet and destroy them.
* The Yo-beings mentally resurrect the fallen heroes and recreate the destroyed Paradopolis with their combined thought energy. The Lair Legion is trimmed down to a roster of 12,consisting of: Jarvis, Lisa, NTU-150, Dark Knight, Fin Fang Foom, Banjooo, Messenger, Rocket Raccoon, Sersi, Starseed, Hatman & CrazySugarFreakBoy! However, DarkHwk stays on as a lab assistant to NTU and Space Ghost is still around because he's too drunk to know any better.
* The Lair Legion occupies a huge (and cool!) new base on a mini-island off the coast of Paradopolis called the Lair. This was given to them by Hollywood V and happens to be the same island that has occupied so much of history.
* The Hooded Hood’s sinister machinations begin. The Hood has no origin any more, since he has retconed several by now, and has just written himself into existence. His first non-retconed appearance was at Herringcarp Asylum four years before present (BP), although he has interfered many times before that point. The Hood launches his first in-continuity masterplan. He retcons Lisa to be Jarvis' sister, ending her relationship with the butler so he can tempt her to the dark side. He arranges for Jarvis to meet Melissa. He brings Galactivac to Earth for the first time, setting up events to create Dancer. He arranges for spiffy to come back from the dead (temporarily; HV sorted it permanently). He forms the first Purveyors of Peril and takes over the planet, legally. He is finally stopped by the LL and Zemo.
* Over time, Darkhwk’s behavior becomes more erratic.
* The coming of Galactivac.
Year Three (Three Years Before Present):
* Bry Kats, the hero known as Goldeneyed discovers the Parodyverse. He and his friend, Frogman, switch worlds. Goldeneyed soon joins the Lair Legion.
* On a mission to GMY investigating some weapons smuggling and gang activity, Yo is shot by strange energy from one of the weapons, critically wounding her.
* Thinking Zane has snapped, the LL prepares to bring DH in after resolving the situation in GMY. NTU-150 goes to after his friend DH alone to try to talk to him.
* As DH, Zane is shot in his amulet and splits into biosynthetic Zane and the android DH.
* NTU-150 brings biosynthetic Zane back to LL headquarters after being damaged by DH.
* After recovering a while, biosynthetic Zane wakes up brings Yo's bunny back to life, heals Yo, and then slips into a coma.
* The unlamented Lair Fortress passes
* Paradopolis has returned to normal?
* The Lair Legion travels to the African nation of WakandyBar by mysterious invite. The Black Pantser, the king of that nation, tests them in combat. He then becomes their ally.
* Baron Zemo creates Membrain and which starts major war.
* Jarvis starts to get angry.
* Disco Hitler returns as a zombie and leads zombie Nazis to decimate parts of Gothametropolis York. Messenger stops him.
* The wedding of Jarvis and Melissa.
* The Lurker first appears. Has his robots begin watching the Parodyverse heroes and villains, beginning with his robot servant Underdog, who attends the wedding.
* First appearance of Exile.
* Energizer killed Poisyn about a month after the Zombie crisis. This event gives Messenger that final push towards insanity and make it so a death warrant was issued on his head. He becomes more brutal. Killing his enemies in more gruesome ways, and killing people for lesser crimes.
* First appearance of ManMan.
* Access’ powers start to act up.
* First appearance of Troia 215.
* First appearance of Xander.
* The Hood launches his second in-continuity masterplan. He reveals that he is spiffy and Troia's father and manipulates Troia to help gain him access to the Secret of the Parodyverse hidden beneath the Lair mansion. He manipulates Wilbur Parody in the 19th century. He creates the New battlers and Sidekicks to baffle and distract the LL. He triggers the return of the Celestians. He is only stopped when Jarvis makes a deal with Samhain, Destroyer of Tales, to gain an edge at the critical moment. Jarvis subsequently dies in his own adventure in payment of the debt to Samhain.
* The Celestians visited Earth when the Hooded Hood tried to gain the Secret under Parody Island, but that wasn't the official Fourth Host visit. That visit will trigger the Resolution War and the Last Story of the Parodyverse.
* Jarvis dies fighting the Nebulus.
Year Four (TwoYears Before Present):
* The Lair Legion starts a rotating chairmanship. Lisa, Fin Fang Foom, the Dark Knight, spiffy, NTU-150 and Visionary all take turns leading.
* Access meets the Omnisoul. He is split into two people, Narrator and the Lurker. Narrator escapes and vows revenge on the Parodyverse. The Lurker travels back in time a few years and sets up robot watchers to observe the heroes and villains secretly.
* Dr. Moo and Pierson’s Porter get married and go on their honeymoon.
* DH continues to hang out in GMY and kills murderers. So far, the LL have been unsuccessful in tracking down and apprehending DH.
* Biosynthetic Zane still lies in a coma.
* The War of the Gods.
* The town of LittleSmallville appears from nowhere. Paradopolis citizen Tom Irving is captured by the Omnisoul, his memories changed so that he believes he’s from that town.
* Narrator transports to the Heart of Souls. Once there he sends an energy signal through time and space to the DC villain Extant. Narrator sends Extant to meet Korvac in the Marvel universe. This sets up a chain reaction that causes the Infinite Crisis. The meeting and battling of so many cosmic threats, not to mention the effects this has on the timeline, sends out chronic time wave energy, or Chronowaves. These Chronowaves affect the Parodyverse, linking it to the total Omniversal backlash of power at the end of the Infinite Crisis. People and places from other universes mix into the Parodyverse.
* The Omnisoul, realizing the mix of Yellow Flashlight and Quantum energies aren’t ready for their true purpose, directs the Chronowaves into Tom Irving, turning him into Amazing Guy.
* The Trickshot from the other reality briefly winds up in the Parodyverse. He returns to his world to find his brother, Swordsam, and most of his Lair Legion, slaughtered by the Narrator. He meets the Hooded Hood, who tells him it was Thugos who did it. The Hooded Hood sends him to Thugos’ universe to revenge his friends.
* The Lair Legion of Super Heroes arrives from the future. They make CrazySugarFreakBoy an honorary member. They help in the Reality War.
* After the Infinite Crisis ends, the Narrator steals the excess energy and uses it to try to take over the Parodyverse. He’s beaten by the heroes of three universes in what is called the Reality War and is sent into exile. All the Lurker’s robots revealed who they were and backed off from the heroes a bit.
* Amazing Guy replaced Trickshot in Thugos’ universe and destroys half of the tyrant’s world. Trickshot starts a new life in the Parodyverse, joining the LL. Exile and Troia 215 also join. Amazing Guy is killed in the explosion that destroyed Thugos Empire.
* The Hood launches his third in-continuity masterplan. He triggers the invasion of Dormaggedon, and Dormaggedon's subsequent destruction. He causes the Acts of Ambition which nearly destroys the LL. He manipulates Dark Thugos and Kumari, his alternate-reality children, to turn the tables on the Shaper of Worlds who arranged for them to exist as a plot against the Hood, and forces her to surrender her power. He arranges the Hell on Earth event which forces Whitney to face her Demon Lover and culminates in the death of the hood's adversary Mefrothto. He steals the power of the other members of the Triumvirate and remakes the Parodyverse to his liking.
* The LL struggle in the Hood's remade Parodyverse and Lisa proves to the Hood that his efforts to reshape the universe are unnecessary. Rejected even by his children the Hood decides to destroy everything, and the Parodyverse begins to unravel. The LL and the Hood have their only serious real fight, and Troia, last Legionnaire standing, backstabs her father and brings him down. Zemo shoots him dead.
* Visionary becomes the chairman of the Lair Legion.
* The Omnisoul uses the remaining Chronowaves to resurrect Tom Irving, the Amazing Guy, but thanks to the Hooded Hood he can no longer exist in the Parodyverse. He is placed in Trickshot’s home universe with his memories once again altered. The Omnisoul then takes the now ready merged Quantum and Yellow Flashlight energies and places them into LittleSmallville citizen Scott Brunsen. Being a native of this Universe hopping town, Scott’s latent Omniverse abilities start to become better realized. They take the form of Quantum powers until later matured. Once again playing with people’s minds, the Omnisoul allows Scott to believe he’s Tom and places him into the Parodyverse. Scott (thinking he’s Tom) becomes Amazing Guy and Eggo’s new Protector of the Universe.
* Car-Tar, an intergalactic policeman from the planet Thonggar, comes to Earth to keep an eye on things. Becomes the new Pigeonman.
* LittleSmallville disappears.
* The LL takes on Mental Midget.
* Amazing Guy’s powers flare out, temporarily. He gets the copy of Captain Marble’s Quantum Bands.
* spiffy becomes the Omni-mayor (the mayor of everywhere else except Paradopolis. Pierson’s Porter becomes mayor of Paradopolis.
* PhantomGhostGirl, from the Lair Legion of Super Heroes’ future gets stranded in this era. Makes a new life for herself.
* Amazing Guy is sent a couple of months into the future to stop Thugos at the time when the Hooded Hood gained power over reality. He was returned after he was no longer needed.
* Lisa gives birth to Christopher Waltz.
* Amazing Guy and the alien hero known as Victory fight against Brainattack to save the planet Maxell. AG looses the Quantum Bands, regains energy manipulation powers.
* Amazing Guy and Hatman chase a Hero Feeder through the many alternate worlds to save CrazySugarFreakBoy! from certain doom.
* Bill Reed eats pixie dust and gains the power of flight, becoming Nats.
* The debut of Dancer.
* Bill Reed looks for a job. He tried out the Interdimensional Transportation Corporation, becoming their #1 delivery boy. His boss is Miss Framlicker. Her boss is Mr. Limpqvist.
* Music student Jonny Rockets is bitten by a radioactive double-bassist. He takes to the streets as the hero Captain Astounding. He is preternaturally useless.
* The debut of Saint.
* The debut of the Green Ninja.
* Fancy Guppy and Black Stingray fight. BS takes over the kingdom of Fishionah while FG wanders around a Paradopolis flop house with out his memory.
* Jeremy Wick gets powers from Prof. Sterr as part of Hero Feeder’s attempt to breed new generation of edible superheroes. He becomes Dynamite Boy.
* Jack Rabbit returns to Paradopolis, coming out of retirement.
* ManMan and Trickshot go on a road trip. Later Trickshot returns to Paradopolis.
* Dynamite Boy fought his first enemies.
* The debut of Stravenger.
* Jack Rabbit, Hunter Victorious, Victory and Dancer are captured and tested by an intergalactic being. They are returned home by the time travelers Dr. Phobia and Justin Tyme.
* The debut of the Phantom.
* Amazing Guy and the entire Lair Legion take on the Hero Feeders in Comic Book Limbo, finishing the Hero Hunter Saga.
* Amazing Guy and his girlfriend, Janeen are sent into Comic Book Limbo to be destroyed by the angry Hero Feeders by Thugos. They and the alien known as Wilblk get sent, by the Omnisoul, to a pocket universe where they spend ten years living normal lives.
* The golden age Pigeonman comes out of retirement as he joins with Trickshot, Frogman, Jack Rabbit and Speedstreak to stop the Cult of Set. Kuu KaChuu gets brought back to life. Speedstreak is lost through a portal to another dimension and Jack Rabbit is badly hurt.
* Wangmundo is first noticed by Dancer, among others.
* Victory becomes the new Protector of the Universe, under Eggo.
Year Five (One Year Before Present):
* Ziles stops at planet Earth and gets captured by thugs whom use her powers for unlawful means. They insert tracking devices and such to keep track of her, which later she finds out poisoned her body and made her weak thus, why she couldn't escape. On a job she gets "busted" by the LL.
* Plots already set in motion by the Hood take advantage of Dark Thugos' plans to conquer the Earth which begin by arranging for Paradopolis to be teleported to an alien planet. In a lengthy set of adventures across the cosmos and through time, G-Eyed and Exile discover their origins (in the future, and shaped by the Hood), Finny learns the fate of Makluos, and Skree-Lump is destroyed by Galactivac. A side effect of all of this is that Death released the Hood, who returns to life with the information he died to discover. The LL finally overcome Thugos and his minions in a last desperate battle at the Lair Mansion itself. Several events from this saga are also shown separately, since it affected most of the heroes of the Parodyverse.
* Paradopolis gets kidnapped by Dark Thugos causing most of Earth’s heroes to be trapped off world.
* Dynamite Boy, Jack Rabbit, Captain Astounding and others gets sucked up into the kidnapping of Paradopolis to alien planet.
* Speedstreak reappears from the pocket dimension he was trapped in. For him it was 20 years, so he is now a bitter adult. Becomes Swift.
* Thinking her brother Jack is dead; Jackie Roberts becomes Jackie Rabbit, trying to fill her brother’s large shoes.
* Exile forms the Paradopolis Irregulars, (among them are Dynamite Boy, Jack Rabbit, the Saint, Green Ninja and Captain Astounding) they defend the city from all sorts of strange threats on the planet that Paradopolis was trapped on.
* Amazing Guy and Janeen, now called Multiple Woman, return to the Parodyverse. Wilblk stays behind.
* The Lurker brings together Amazing Guy, Multiple Woman, the golden age Pigeonman, Kid Produce, Swift and Goldfish. They become the Justa Bunch of Heroes and along with Victory take on Thugos Invasion scout ship.
* Thugos sends his servant, Onslaughter, along with DeathWorld, to conquer and destroy the Earth. Visionary and Cheryl organize the remaining heroes of Earth to fight off the invasion. The Lurker sends his robots out to help. The Lair Legion of Super Heroes arrives from the future to assist as well. Amazing Guy, Victory, Jackie Rabbit, the Manga Shaggoth, Chameleon Dragon and the JBH destroy DeathWorld. Victory is almost killed and thanks to Eggo is placed into the Phantom Unloading Zone to heal for centuries.
* Thugos is defeated thanks to the LL plus a couple. Paradopolis is saved by Pierson’s Porter and first shrunk, then placed back on Earth, albeit a little off.
* Dynamite Boy gets "lost" when city was returned to Earth, but nobody noticed he was missing including his family as part of the retcon backlash of the Hooded Hood erasing Pierson's Porter's super-city from the timeline.
* Amazing Guy, Multiple Woman, their kids, the new Pigeonman and the JBH, as well as the Lurker and the Omnisoul are captured by She-Captor. Jack Rabbit gets turned into a statue.
* Lisa, Visionary, Donar, Cheryl, Yo and NTU-150 reform the League of Regulars in hope not to do much of anything. Visionary becomes the reluctant leader.
* A mysterious intruder invades the Lurker’s base, destroys most of his robots and makes away with tons of technology. The ManManHunter cult is formed in the past thanks to these events. Various ManManHunters are placed in the heroes’ lives in the last three years in secret.
* Troia 215 takes some time off.
* Fin Fang Foom becomes the new leader of the LL. The team now includes Hatman, Goldeneyed, Exile, CrazySugarFreakBoy!, Trickshot, the Dark Knight, Donar (pulling double duty), Ziles, Sorceress and Nats.
* The demon named Dimonis who is a Gahream is hunting Ziles. His goal is to kill her and steal her power. The gahreams are always after her, looking for her to steal her jewel that dangles from her forehead, it is a symbol of her status as princess and is how she controls her power.
* The debut of De Brown Streak.
* Banjooo and Messenger join the AL.
* Along with various heroes from other alternate worlds, the JBH and crew escape. Four heroes from other worlds sacrifice themselves to stop She-Captor. Janeen looses her powers.
* Trickshot, Nats and Little Guy help out the time traveling Justin Tyme. Jack Rabbit gets returned to normal.
* The LL, LOR, JBH, Abandoned Legion, Goofball Gauntlet and many others including Dynamite Boy, De Brown Streak, Visible Boy and Dancer join in on Trickshot’s bowling night.
* Dynamite Boy falls prey to the Hero Feeders and ended up a prisoner of the Heckfire Club.
* PhantomGhostGirl, Little Guy, Plantgirl, and Trickshot join the JBH.
* dull thud leaves Scotland and comes to Paradopolis to follow the garage rock scene. In his second week in the city he and his psychic tapeworm, Cressida, see an advertisement placed by Captain Astounding. With Granny Fang and Nun More Black, they form a short-lived super team.
* Ziles took the risk and returned home to her teacher Ekitai and he healed her although he was forbidden to.
* Troia’s birthday party results in many problems.
* Amazing Guy and Janeen meet Macy, and Janeen becomes MacyMom, the Moocow Mama. They go on a mission for Eggo in the past.
* Chronic kills Troia and himself. Donar goes to Hel and brings Troia back. Chronic becomes a servant for the Amazons of the afterlife.
* Bill Reed becomes a copy boy at the Planetary Bugle for an extra few bucks. He has a crush on Betty Grant, the secretary for Editor-In-Chief Vincent Crappola. Strangely, most everyone that works there is a parody of another newspaperman from the comics. Just think of Nats as Jimmy Olsen.
* Trickshot becomes temporary leader of the JBH. Rescue Pigionman1 and Pigeongirl. Fight Kuu Kuu Ka Chuu. Trickshot leaves to return to the LL sense no one likes him.
* The Lair Legion fights Azure Arak and the Enemy hunters, preventing them from their plan and saving the nation of Spain. Trickshot gets a swelled head because of his last minute save.
* dull thud begins his solo adventures.
* Dynamite Boy escaped Heckfire Club, got home, and nobody noticed he's been away for two or three months.
* Nats dreams about a stick begin. What this means, no one knows. And he's also having strange displays of new powers.
* Dynamite Boy and Trickshot take on Voodoo Bob and Sexy Olivia. DB finds out Bob is his long lost brother.
* The Hood's fourth masterplan begins. It involves world tours, and t-shirts, and the origin of Valeria of Carfax, and doing horrible things to Lisette, and the reformation of the Purveyors of Peril.
* The Lair Legion, plus a couple, starts their world tour to find and catch criminals all over the world.
* AG and MacyMom return. Pigeonwoman joins the JBH.
* The Crimson Cowl helps Chronic to start over on Earth again, as his servant. He gives Chronic a blue Power Thimble. After a battle with the JBH, Chronic flees to France. The Thimble has disappeared.
* Dynamite Boy has more adventures.
* The trial and death of Magnetic Techbird. De Brown Streak becomes a fugitive.
* Goldfish takes over Fishionah.
* The bird like To-maR-Us of the planet Yougotit, one of the three Yellow Flashlights from the past, gives his Power Thimble and Flashlight Battery to an Earth woman.
* De Brown Streak helps Fancy Guppy regain his memories. The Hooded Hood recruits DBS.
* Dynamite Boy is found by and reluctantly recruited by Purveyors of Peril.
* The LL have an adventure in France. Chronic tags along unbeknownst to the team.
* Fancy Guppy from Fishionah goes to the JBH for help. They become involved in the Fishionah/WakandyBar War. After overthrowing both Black Stingray and Goldfish, FG regains his thrown.
Present Day (This Year):
* Still to be listed here.
Near Future (Next Couple of Years):
* Unknown at this time.
The Resolution War and Just After (?):
* The Death of Nats. Unknown at this time.
* The last temptation of CrazySurgarFreakBoy. He goes to Hell. Unknown at this time.
* Fin Fang Foom falls in love. Unknown at this time.
* Messenger delivers his final message. Unknown at this time.
* Amazing Guy and his family vanish from the Parodyverse for good. A new Amazing Guy takes over for him. Unknown at this time.
* Other major events that are unknown at this time.
* The Resolution War. Wilber Parody had foreseen the ultimate reason for the Parodyverse being created some kind of test, experiment, or conflict that would be the final act of the modern heroic age. A number of signs and portents would precede this, some of which have happened (such as the coming of Galactivac and the Judgment of the Celestians). This would be the final battle, the Parodyverse's Ragnarok. The outcome of that battle would determine whether all the glimpsed futures beyond it were mere ghosts of things that might have been or real and glorious (or terrible) futures. This battle has become known to the Lair Legion as the Resolution War. It is the Last Story of the Parodyverse, and not everybody, perhaps anybody, survives it. It has not yet happened. It will happen soon. The possibility does exist that it could be altered or lessened. This is an event that might never be seen.
* Two major alternate futures exist. One where Parodopolis is in ruins and human life is all but extinguished, the other where the heroes saved the day and life continues on in a renewed since of improvement and brotherhood.
* Because of the improved human spirit brought on by the heroes’ triumph at the end of the war, a new space program is begun in earnest as well as better economic and social improvements.
* Because of the mass destruction and large loss of life brought on after the heroes’ failure at the end of the war, life is stagnant for decades. Radiated animals start an enormous growth and evolve into small tribes. Few humans live. They group in small units while the animals start to rule. This continues for a hundred years.
* After the heroes’ success at the end of the war, the Lair Legion continues on. Those members who died at the end of the war are buried and mourned. Those that survive either continue on or retire.
* The ruined Paradopolis is rebuilt even better then before. Its renamed New Parodopolis.
*Goldeneyed and ? settle down and have children.
* The villain known as Swingy is rescued from prison by the Cowled Crook and taken to the future.
* Flapjack becomes governor of Parodopolis.
* Sara Brunsen becomes Monsterfear and fights crime.
* Circa 2009-2019: GlitchedGadgetRiotgrrlRobot! (“Glitch”) of the ImmatureAnimeArtificialIntelligences!
Glitch saw herself, as the GlitchedGadgetRiotgrrlRobot!, assuming the mantle of her immediate predecessor, Dreamcatcher Foxglove, when he stepped down, and even glimpsed quick snippets from her own future, as she and her fellow Autobots fought against her soon-to-be Decepticon adversary, the ImmatureAnimeArtificialIntelligence!
* Donar vanishes.
* The Lair Legion decide to disband. The remaining members are getting old and want to retire.
* Laura Brunsen, the daughter of Amazing Guy, teams up with Yo to turn the empty Harringcarp Asylum into a children’s hospital.
* Samantha Featherstone, in her black top range MG sports model car and using her sleek black wristwatch (the reshaped Chronometer of Infinity last owned by her grandfather, Sir Mumphrey Wilson) and unknown powers fights crime and rights wrongs.
* David Brunsen takes the Hooded Hoods offer and becomes the evil Davyseid, taking over the planet Apuffylip and making it his own. He builds an evil empire, trampling all opposition in his path.
* David Brunsen passes on the Hooded Hood’s offer and remains good, becomes a head inventor at Bautista Enterprises and helps bring forth new innovations in space travel and planet wide technology.
* Circa 2019-2029: HyperActiveLunaticLass! (Iris Paintbrush Foxfire)
Dreamcatcher Foxglove’s daughter, Iris Paintbrush Foxfire, inherits her father’s connection to the Impossibilityium with the onset of puberty, and dons the costume of the HyperActiveLunaticLass!, juggling the typical trials of an adolescent girl trying to survive the high school academic and social scene, along with the added pressures of learning how to fight costumed criminals, as well as coming to terms with her own homosexuality.
* The Lair Legion of Super Heroes arrive from the future to ask HyperActiveLunaticLass! To join their ranks. She does, but quits shortly after due to her desire to be more active in her era.
* A new Lair Legion is formed by the retired Sir Mumphrey Wilson. Several of the former team member’s children take over for their parents. Among the membership is Samantha Featherstone, Katelyn Brunsen (the Imaginer), HyperActiveLunaticLass!, Goldenexile, Harlagaz, Witch-Hat and many others.
* David Brunsen, CEO of Bautista Enterprises and Franklyn Wrichards, CEO of Wrichards Technologies merge their companies into Bautards Innovations. This corporation does more than any other in helping build the world to a new, better level.
The Era Of Rebuilding, Beginning of the Second Age of Exploration (2100- 2285):
* Earth’s governments merge and become the United Earth Council.
* Earth’s first moon colony. The Moon Public Library’s business booms as the next in line of Librarians fights crimes like bad book treatment and people who never return at the proper check out time.
* Bautards Innovations helps build the first faster then light ship. Col. Rick Bastion becomes the first Solar Shuttle Pilot. He later retires and uses a souped up classic taxi cab and becomes Space Cab Driver.
* Man starts a colony on Mars.
* Super heroes and super villains have faded into history.
* Circa 2100: A lone naked human child was found by the evolved animals. He has wild red hair and a look of a beast upon his eyes. At least he did until the animals helped him to become civilized. He was given the name Namatsi, which means ‘The Last Boy On Earth’.
* Circa 2100: A lone naked human child was found by Mars Shuttle pilot Charles Lateron while vacationing on Earth in the futuristic New Paradopolis before returning to Mars Colony Delta 5. Lateron adopts the red haired youth, calling him Billy after his favorite 20th century hero, Nats.
* Circa 2115: Billy Lateron grows up and forms the Planet Helpers and starts Earth’s first Solar System Police force. He’s nick named Billy Tomorrow and becomes the first legend in space heroes.
* Circa 2116: Justin Tyme and PhantomGhostGirl meet Namatsi in the ruins of Paradopolis. They can’t understand how this future can exist since neither one of them have ever heard of it.
* The early colonization of the solar system meant the lawless had a chance to profit from widely sparse colonies and travelers. Christina 215 took laser pistol and jet pack to defend them. So did Star Hopkins with his little robot friend.
* The Star Roamers were the first space faring group to protect the innocent but soon after their demise came Lateron’s Planet Helpers. By this time there was a colony on either every planet or moon, as the population expanded.
* Circa 2285: The intergalactic United Systems approached Earth about joining. They do. The United Earth Council continues to govern the system while Earth is but one member in the new United Systems. That same year they build the first Star Ship capable of traveling out of the solar system.
Universal Unity, Universal Exploration (2285- ???? ):
* Circa 2287: Anton Sprockets takes over Bautards Innovations and slowly changes its purpose. No one ever knew when he was alive, but Sprockets was anti-alien and wanted to find away to stop Earth’s emergence into the Galaxy. The public believed him to be a kind, wonderful man. Only his son knew better.
* The Planet Helpers evolve into the Spaced Rangers, becoming the main police force of the solar system.
* The Chronlongs start trouble at the borders of Earth’s solar system. The Spaced Rangers have a hard time holding them back.
* Space Fleet was created by Earth to fight off alien invasions. Soon the United Systems adopt the idea as their own.
* Circa 2312: The language barrier is no longer a problem. Not since a little device called the Brain Translator has been invented. With this device someone could understand anything someone else says, no matter what language they’re speaking. Even if it's a dead language. It taps into the brain waves of the speaker and translates the verbal thoughts into a receivable tongue for the listener. This device has gone far to establish piece in the solar system.
* Circa 2330: The United Systems Starship, Enterpies NOT1601, under Captain James A Dean, began its eight-year mission to patrol the galaxy. Among it’s crew were Lieutenant Manlu, Doctor Burch (called Bony because of his thinness), Lieutenant Whitura, Chief Engineer Mr. thud (called thuddy because he was thick headed), Lieutenant Checkoff and the Xylonian second in command, Ms. Zockles. This crew single handedly pushed back the Chronlongs, winning victory after victory for the fledging United Systems.
* With the Chronlongs attacks, Jeremiah Sprockets was convinced his ancestor, Anton Sprockets, was right. He pushes the family hatred further. He splints off a sub company, calls it by the old name of Wrichards Technologies and instills a secret mission to foil interplanetary space travel.
* Dispite Sprockets’ plans, technology continues to advance in the next hundred years. Earth has grown into a formidable member of the United Systems and the interplanetary organization has added many worlds to is number.
* The Brain Translator is implanted within children at a young age. All people speak the same language but the people of earth still need it for dealings with their friends in space.
* Circa 2460: The United Systems Starship, Enterpies NOT1601-D, the fourth in line after Dean’s ship, begins it’s mission. Some say it’s far more popular then it’s predecessors. Captain Jay Luc Pickacard is the captain, preferring to solve matters with a calm head while wearing his favorite thinking cap over his bald scalp. His crew consists of second in command Commander Bryker, Counselor Shepoi from Betamax; Chief Engineer Lieutenant La Falc, Doctor Beverly Chysher, her son Ensign spifley Chysher, the Fake Man Lieutenant Commander Visa and the first Chronlong in Space Fleet, Lieutenant Exorf.
* Circa 2461 AD: Dr. Lutwig Sprockets comes across a startling discovery. Two lost time travelers from the end of the 19th century fall into his lap. He uses them to try to create a time machine so that he could go back in time and prevent Earth’s involvement in the United Systems, or even to stop Earth from reaching the stars at all. Another time traveler stops him before it’s too late, but Sprockets knows this traveler and realizes that because this simple science intern would one day invent the machine, he hires the boy’s current version from his time line. The newly hired boy’s name? Justin Tyme.
* Circa 2462: Justin was working for Wrichards Technologies when he invented his prototype time machine. It was revealed that his long time girlfriend, Carla Samone, was spying on his discoveries for Dr. Sprockets. Fleeing from his enemies Justin escaped through time and became lost. He is still traveling through the eras, trying to get to a point in time when he can properly repair his machine. It should be noted that an older, more experienced Professor Justin Tyme was seen helping both Swift and Jack Rabbit. Sprockets sends Carla out as Timequestor with a copy machine (it can only trace Justin’s. Without Justin’s machine, Carla would be trapped in time.) she takes off through the eras to find him, bring him back for torture and give his device to Sprockets so he can continue with his plan.
* Bautista Enterprises reforms thanks to Joe Bautista, a descendant from Jamie Bautista, the original founder. They become a descent company, helping the United Earth Council with many projects.
* The Institute for Time Research is going strong, built upon the lessons learned from the great Professor Justin Tyme.
* Circa 3021: The Z’socks, an alien race that has become shrouded in history, returns with a vengeance. They manage to make it through United Systems space far enough to cause Earth problems. Space Fleet does stop them in the end, driving them back.
* Circa 3038: Due to the Z’socks invasion, he United Systems (now the government of Earth) plans out the construction of a shield around the Earth. It will take over a hundred years to construct.
* Circa 3075: A GardenSmurf, from the oldest Parodyverse alien race, somehow returns. He begins a new Yellow Flashlight Corps with it’s first member in a long time; Hopo E’rrar from the planet Fuzi.
* Hines Zemo, the 8th Zemo, was a peaceful man who lived in a mansion on the outskirts of New Paradopolis. He and his wife had five children, two boys and three girls. The boys were always aggressive and mean while the girls were nice and nurturing. After a falling out with their father, the boys left. They became the evil Zemo brothers (Hahnz Zemo and Franz Zemo, who always threatened people with “pumping them up”. The parents died of natural causes; the sisters went to travel the universe. We lose track of them at this point. NOTE: Due to a retcon caused by the Hooded Hood, these events might have been very different.
* LooneyTuneLovingAlien! begins his adventures. This alien becomes the first costumed hero since the 21st century.
* Bautista Enterprises brings forth the NTU Corps. They help with the emergence of more criminals. Hopo E’rrar dies. Von R Harper becomes the new Yellow Flashlight.
* Feeling enraged at the loss of their parents and the disappearance or lost contact of their sisters; the Zemo brothers became estranged from each other. Always out to kill each other, the NTU-CORPS and the current Imposibilium (CrazySurgarHero of the time) hero always got in the middle. At this point the now fully-grown, Franz Zemo or Zemo9 married an alien princess and had twin children, a boy and a girl. Franz rested and retired on her planet of blue skinned shadow creating aliens. He became her official consort, but when it was discovered he was abusing her, he was exiled so he returned to Earth. NOTE: These events were referenced during one of Justin Tyme’s adventures, but now are completely wiped out. The effects have yet to be seen.
* Circa 3195: The Earth Protection Dome is finished, complete with planet wide celebrations.
* LooneyTuneLovingAlien! is killed.
* Circa 3197: Hahnz Zemo, or Zemo10 as he liked to be called, finds the frozen body of the original Baron Zemo and discovers on his base orbiting Mars that he, his brother, his missing sisters and even his father were not descended from the original Zemo after all. He plots a scheme to become the real Zemo. He finds others to become his new Scourge. The Late Great Danielle Blake, Venom the forth, a new Flapjack, SureSight the archer, DarkHwk3000, and the Pleasant Reaper are the members. NOTE: These events were also retconed.
* Circa 3198: Franz Zemo, or Zemo9, is killed by his brother and the Scourge destroy his base. Justin Tyme witnesses the whole thing but escapes into the past. NOTE: With the retconing of the original Zemo, things are very different. What really happened remains to be seen.
* Circa 3198: Later that year Councilman R.J.Garrick travels to Rann-12 on the Interplanetary Council's Planetary Transport ship. The Scourge attack and hold the ship hostage. Three youth from Earth team up and stop the Scourge, driving them away. Councilman Garrick convinces the youth to become a team. They do, taking the names of heroes from the past and become Lightning Jarvis, Saturn Lisa and Cosmic Cap. They form the Lair Legion of Super Heroes. Due to the massive retcon, these three youth and several of their friends cease to be.
* Circa 3198: Councilman R.J.Garrick travels to Rann-12 on the Interplanetary Council's Planetary Transport ship. It’s an uneventful trip.
* Circa 3203: Councilman R.J.Garrick returns to Rann-12 on another of the Interplanetary Council's Planetary Transport ships. Alien bandits’ attack and hold the ship hostage. Three youth (Jayth Razz, Ima Arlee and Rocc Grinn) from three different planets team up and stop them, bringing them to justice. Councilman Garrick convinces the youth to become a team. They do, taking the names of heroes from the past and become Lightning-Hat, Saturn Ziles and Amazingly Cosmic Boy. They form the Lair Legion of Super Heroes.
* Circa 3203: The LLSH grows immensely. Phantom GhostGirl, Triple L!, Chameleon Dragon, Invisible Archer, Big-Bird and Visionary5 all join. The team travels into the past and recruits HyperActiveLunaticLass! Tobias Bautista, Joe Bautista’s son, becomes NTU-4000 and joins the team. The LLSH go back in time to help out in the Reality War and the Death World invasion. They go into the past to make CrazySurgarFreakBoy! a member as well. The team has various nemeses, including Balefire10 and the Fatal Scourge, Mordrudu, the Kudds and the Z’Socks. There is one other villain whom they always cross paths with, their most evil adversary, the Cowled Crook. This evil lord of time fights from the end of time. Planning against both the Legion, and the Hooded Hood. Waiting for the time to strike.
* The hero formally known as Victory is rescued from the Phantom Loading & Unloading Zone. He becomes Heroic Von-el.
* Von R Harper retires as a Yellow Flashlight due to the stress. He becomes involved as a lab partner to Visionary5.
* Circa 3204: More members join the LLSH as the team is now known as the main force to go to for help. Jon Nahnah comes from the now mythical and only legendary Ausgard to become UltraThunder Boy. Natstar, Shrinking Fern, Exferno, Bouncing thud, Matter Eating Musician, Golden Elemental and Lightning-Hatress all join while HyperActiveLunaticLass! quits to return to her home era. PhantomGhostGirl is lost through time thanks to the Cowled Criminal. Frozen Produce forms the Lair Substitute Legion of Super Heroes.
* Circa 3205: CrazySurgarFreakBoy! leaves for his time, returning to focus on his life. A new Impossibilityium hero breaks into the scene and joins the ranks, Jimee Olssoni, the HappyBouncyElasticLad!
* Circa 3205: More heroes join. They are Dream Cheryl, Karate Knight, Better-Then-You-Boy (who is discovered to be a traitor and is kicked out), Frog Boy, Princess ProjectrAsil, Mailbox, Bug Babe, Shadow Dancer, Chemical Hwk, WolfWolf, WildYofire, Pegistar, oBlok, White Sorceress, Frozen Produce and De X Streak all join.
* Circa 3205: The terrible Sun-Hugger attacks the system and it costs the LLSH everything to stop it. Mailbox dies in a heroic defeat of the creature.
* Circa 3205: Chemical Hwk is killed by the Fatal Scourge. PhantomGhostGirl returns to this year from the past thanks to Justin Tyme only to find it different from the era she remembers.
The Time at the End of Time:
* LudicrousLuminousKineticKid! (The Hero with a Thousand Faces) exists at this period of time. He ultimate culmination of the CrazySugarSuperHero! line and the Impossibilityium’s trickster legacy … because the LudicrousLuminousKineticKid! WAS all of it its predecessors, all of the tricksters and CrazySugarSuperHeroes! ever to wear the orange and green smiley face, all bound up into one body, one form, one mind, one soul. The genderless being, composed of pure Impossibilityium, resided in Entropolis, the city at the end of time and space that existed on the splice mark between the end and the beginning of the Parodyverse, where all of creation looped back to the starting point like a song on an 8-track, passing on his wisdom to the students at Utopia University, the university at the end of the universe, which Doctor Xeno Phobia had founded so that the residents of all times and places and possible realities in existence could come together.
* At the same time as LLKK! Sits a Citadel that is home to a mastermind of dastardly proportions. His home is set up to be invisible to the CrazySugarHero of the age, the Cowled Criminal watches the eras, plotting. He has turned the washed up villain known as Swingy in his servant Prizecatcher and sent him after historical objects of power to allow CC to access the Plaid Wall of Entropy. The Criminal unleashed the Wall and now it devourers alternate universes, on it’s way back to the Parodyverse.
* Along with Prizecatcher, the Cowled Criminal has recruited the JBV (Justa Bunch of Villains) from another universe and built up their powers. He turns 20th century janitor Kirby King into the Amazed Adaptoid (who adapts the looks, skills and powers of whomever he’s near, but also at the cost of much pain) and gives Chronic the Power Thimble of Sin-nest-Jo, the renegade Yellow Flashlight. ( Chronic later lost the Thimble but it turns out CC did it for other reasons unknown at this time.) The Cowled Criminal used a henchman whom replaces others and sends them into Comic Book Limbo. His name is the Spaced Fandom.
This poster posed from 220.127.116.11 when they posted
- History of the Parodyverse - ag (Ok guys! Please give me info on your charicters sence a year ago. Please look at whats there and let me know whats missing! Ian, can you link this on your're Where's Where, Who's Who and home page? Thanks! - 21:12 on November 25, 2002
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