Tales of the Parodyverse

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The Hooded Hood
Mon Jun 06, 2005 at 10:55:27 am EDT

The Hooded Hood - A Writer's Guide and History
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The Hooded Hood

Other Identities and Aliases: Ioldobaoth Winkelweald, the cowled crime czar; the Marquis of Herringcarp

Appearance: A tall gaunt figure with a moustache and goatee beard, whose face is usually shadowed by his grey cowl and full-length cloak. His eyes glow greenly, and become brighter when he exerts his power.

Origin: The Hood has long since retconned several different origins, and may not even be aware himself of where and how he came to be an archvillain by now. He speaks with a sinister Latvian accent but adopts British cultural traits. First Appearance: The Hooded Hood Chronicles #1

Powers: The Hooded Hood can cause retrospective continuity changes (retcons), altering previous events to cause different outcomes in the present. He can either make these changes permanent or simply maintain them for as long as he maintains concentration (sometimes for months). Corollaries of his power are that all alternate versions of the Hooded Hood are really the same single character, whose mind can reside in all the variants at once, and that he can sense the likely effect of any change he considers causing. However, the Hood’s power is limited to small changes; the larger the event he alters or the further back the change takes place the harder it is for him. He tends to use his powers sparingly in any case, preferring to win through his wits and planning.

Personality: The Hooded Hood is analytical, devious, calculating, erudite, brilliant, and manipulative. He works to a twisted code of honour which assumes that victory is meaningless unless an enemy has some chance of survival, and that a defeated and broken living enemy is better than a slaughtered one whose suffering is over. Although he always speaks the truth and keeps his word he often deceives with careful use of language. He forges alliances and pacts, and often works with or through intermediaries, even superheroes such as the Lair Legion. His plans tend to be multi-faceted, and he rarely does things for only one reason.

The Hood speaks in formal English with “supervillain” cadences, including sometimes referring to himself in the third person with dramatic pauses: “Thus the plan proceeds, and there are none now that can stop the machinations of… the Hooded Hood.”

Special Equipment: The Portal of Pretentiousness is a cosmic artefact originally created by the combined mights of the pantheon deities to entrap Dread Dormaggadon through it into the Dreary Dimension. It appears as a large ornate mirror with an intricately-carved gilt frame. The Portal can view and open gateways up to almost all times and places that its user envisages, which compliments the Hood’s power to perceive alternate realities very well. The Hood won the Portal off Dormaggadon in their first clash and has used it as his principal tool ever since.

Base of Operations: Herringcarp Asylum is a rambling gothic mental hospital built on the foundations of an ancient abbey. Originally a mediaeval abbey on a spit of rock off the coast of Northumberland, England, the Asylum has resided in upstate Gothametropolis York for several centuries, but has also vanished elsewhere when threatened. To the uninvited the site is guised as the modern, airy Herringcarp Home for Mental Health, a therapeutic institution run by Dr Valium. The unwelcome intruder may find things much more unpleasant. The Asylum site itself, though not sentient, appears to have a rivalry and enmity with the Lair Mansion.

History: From his first appearance in the now-retconned Tales to Infuriate #72 the Hood has been working to a specific plan, to discover who created the Parodyverse as a means of determining some cosmic question through the Resolution War, and to destroy these unknown creators for their crimes.

The Hood’s preparation has been careful and long. He has worked in several different eras, allying himself with the Arthurian Lair Knights, mentoring the sixteenth century Improbable College, and even affecting the future to ensure that Goldeneyed and Exile appeared in the modern heroic age. He has also altered the histories of Nats, Falcon, Amazing Guy, Trickshot, Dancer, Starseed, Dynamite Boy, Chronic, and several other heroes. He fathered spiffy and Troia on the Amazon Queen Rigantona, but abandoned them to be raised by others after Rigantona gave her life to prevent Dread Dormaggadon from destroying Amazon Isle. In some other reality, the two children had a different mother and grew to become Dark Thugos, Tyrant of the Sol Empire and later the Destroyer of Worlds, and Kumari, goddess of death.

The Hood’s first major still-in-continuity plot framed the Lair Legion and replaced them with the Purveyors of Peril, enabling the cowled crime-czar to take control of the planet with the consent of each world government. He further sidelined the Lair Legion in parallel universes while romancing Lisa Waltz, and lured Galactivac the Living Death That Sucks to Earth so the Hood could learn what he knew of the secrets of the Parodyverse. His primary plan was thwarted by Lisa and Zemo, but he gained the information he really required.

This led to the Hood’s second master-plan to uncover the Cosmic Cube and Sleeping Celestian concealed beneath the Lair Mansion, pitching the Legion into desperate combat against the Space Robots themselves. The Legion were forced to team up with the cowled crime czar to prevent the Earth being deleted. The Hood was only thwarted from possessing the Cube by Jarvis’ deal with the Destroyer of Worlds, a deal that subsequently cost the hero’s life.

Some time earlier, Mefrotho, Prince of Fibs, had stolen the Hood’s beloved stuffed toy Pooty, and each midsummer’s night the cowled crime czar wrestled with the demon to regain his teddy; except that this was another devious ploy by the Hood which embroiled Mefrothto and his Hell on Earth plans in a scenario involving CrazySugarFreakBoy! and his dead girlfriend Izzy being sent to hell, and betrothing Troia and ManMan to Mefrothto; a scenario that ended in the Prince of Fibs’ destruction. At the same time the Hood provoked an invasion from Dormaggadon, Prince of Fibs, which pitted the extraplanar tyrant against the Ausgardians and led to his overthrow and destruction. Thus the Hood was revenged for Rigantona.

Finally the Hood made his move for universal power. Usurping the power of the Triumverate of cosmic office-holders (Shaper of Worlds, Chronicler of Stories, and Destroyer of Tales) he reshaped the Parodyverse to his liking, making himself the supreme ruler and addressing many of the ills and woes of his subjects whilst stripping them of their freedoms. The literally-powerless Lair Legion and the Abandoned Legion struggled to thwart him, and in a final confrontation he was brought to a halt when Lisa and his children rejected his multiversal reforms. Losing his temper he determined to destroy the Parodyverse if he could not rule it.

The Lair Legion struggled to stop the literal end of everything, as the stories making up the Parodyverse unravelled by the Hood’s will. Eventually through the intervention of Sir Mumphrey Wilton and the Dark Knight the Legion were able to face a final showdown with the archvillain; a brutal battle that ended when his daughter Troia stabbed him in the back. Baron Zemo took the opportunity to murder his wounded rival, shooting the Hood dead. The Parodyverse was saved, and the Hood had more answers to his ongoing quest about the nature of the narrative.

But the Hood was prepared for death. Only beyond the worlds we know could he seek more information, and only by venturing into the realm of one of the Family of the Pointless could he continue his quest. The Hood and Death struck a pact against the day when Death herself would be destroyed by the Hellraisers, with the Hood preserving a fragment of her essence so that she could be reborn. Hence, when the whole city of Paradopolis was kidnapped to an alien world and Lisa sought the Hood in Death’s realm to seek his aid, the cowled crime czar was able to return to life.

The Hood had long since learned of the predicted Resolution War, from previous manipulation of Wilbur Parody who has first written the Books of Prophecy. Now the Hood needed to discover how to thwart or control the events so that the creator powers behind the Parodyverse would show themselves and intervene. Hence he arranged for the Lair Legion’s world tour and the second rise of the Purveyors of Peril. While the Purveyors attempted planetary conquest and the Legion was thwarting them, the Hood was undisturbed in Paradopolis to complete Wilbur Parody’s original plan for the city which had been built as a trap and control mechanism for the Celestian Space robots. The Hood briefly gained control of these cosmic giants and had access to their operating systems and databases, but was then robbed of permanent dominion over them by the actions of the Paradopolis Irregulars and of Visionary.

Now the Hooded Hood knew the details of the Resolution War, and of the coming rebirth of the sentient Resolution Prophecy that would trigger it. However, before he could act he became embroiled in the Technopolis incursion and was struck down by Knifey when ManMan was controlled by the technologies of the Red Watchman. The Hood seemingly died a second time, and on this occasion this was not part of his own plans.

The Hood was rescued from death, as he knew he would be, by the Faerie Queene, whose Mythlands realm had been conquered by the King of Stories. The King, the first Chronicler of Stories from the dawn of time, wanted the Hood suborned so he would tell what he had discovered. The Hood’s powers had been taken by his daughter Kumari who used them unwisely and was thwarted by the LairLegion and the current Chronicler. The Hooded Hood enjoyed a quiet retirement being romanced by the Faerie Queene.

This retirement was shattered when the Resolution Prophecy manifested in a series of incarnations that culminated as Lord Resolution, who had absolute control over the will of all beings touched by the Space Robots – including humans on Earth. The Lair Legion escaped in faerie and recruited the help of the Hood even though his powers were lost to him. The cowled crime czar executed a complicated plan which regained his powers and defeated the King of Stories then returned the Legion home with a second chance to overcome Lord Resolution. A necessary part of the Hood’s plan for Resolution’s downfall involved letting Lord Resolution injure him, and so the Hood was allowed to remain at the Lair Mansion while he recuperated.

The Hooded Hood’s influence on some of the heroes of the emotionally exhausted Lair Legion was divisive and dangerous. With then-team leader Fin Fang Foom absent or replaced by an impostor more and more pressure fell on neophyte deputy leader Goldeneyed, and G-Eyed came to rely more and more on the suggestions and advice of his unusual houseguest. The Hood was deliberately grooming Goldeneyed to become the kind of leader of the kind of Legion that would serve the archvillain’s purpose, but balked at the last when Flapjack, the Legion’s hunchbacked butler and formerly the Hood’s own lackey, pointed out that the final blow that would turn Goldeneyed into the Hood’s pawn – the rape and murder of Laurie Leyton – was unworthy of the cowled crime czar.

Instead the Legion came under the leadership of Sir Mumphrey Wilton, eccentric keeper of the Chronometer of Infinity. There was previous bad blood between the Hood and Mumphrey. Their first meeting had concluded with the Englishman punching the Hood. Their second encounter involved the Hood manipulating Wilton’s own family to commit him to a mental asylum. Early in Mumphrey’s tenure as Lair Legion leader he clashed with the Hooded Hood and ordered him from the Lair Mansion.

The Hooded Hood acted to thwart the Resolution Prophecy’s second attempt to provoke the Resolution War, manipulating Pegasus into gaining and using the Galactic Nobbler, a cosmic device of immense destructive power. At the cost of her own life she prevented the final battle from taking place – for now.

Anticipating the coming Hellraisers gambit by the Dead Hell Lords who now enslaved the Resolution Prophecy, the Hooded Hood sought to offset the confrontation by acquiring the Starseed, whose Gah! Force might counter the Hell Lords’ initial manoeuvrings. The Hood’s preparations included estranging Sorceress from Hatman, shanghaiing Keiko from her own reality, recruiting Killer Shrike, and retconning in Blackhearted, Goldeneyed as he would have been had the Hood not turned from his campaign to suborn Bry Katz. However, the Hood’s plan to have the Lair Legion win the Transworlds Challenge and thus gain access to the Starseed were thwarted, and so he had to face the coming of the Hellraisers in all their horror.

The Hellraisers were transdimensional marauders whom the Hood had helped imprison decades before. Now, empowered by the Resolution Prophecy bound by the Dead Hell Lords they returned again to bring death and destruction. Attacking Herringcapr Asylum after the Hood was apparently betrayed to them by Sorceress they forced the cowled crime czar to surrender by threatening the lives of Lisa and Dancer. They blinded the captured Hood to prevent him using his retconning power and tortured him for their sport. This was part of the Hood’s plan, diverting them while the Lair Legion escaped to confront the Dead Hell Lords. When his Byzantine plot was concluded the Hellraisers and Dead Hell Lords were broken and the Hooded Hood was restored.

Cast and Relationships: The Hooded Hood has used many minions and allies over the years. His closest minions include Flapjack, formerly his disgusting hunchbacked assistant and now disgusting major domo at the Lair Mansion, the spectral Fearwalker (now deceased), and VelcroVixen, his field leader for the Purveyors of Peril. The Hood has also been shown to have some kind of sinister domination over Dr Valium, ostensibly chief psychiatrist and administrator of the modern Herringcarp Home for the Emotionally Troubled. Allies have included Baron Heinrich Zemo, the diabolical Dr Moo, Akiko Masamune, the Word, and even the Lair Legion themselves. Of late the Hood has been closely watching the career of Baroness Elizabeth Zemo.

The Hooded Hood has battled most major superheroes over the years, but seems to have taken special interest in Jarvis, who died to thwart him, Lisa, whom he attempted to seduce to evil, CrazySugarFreakBoy!, his secret hobby, ManMan, who murdered him that one time, and Sir Mumphrey Wilton, for whom he has an intense and mutual dislike. He has interfered with the lives of many others, sometimes even at a hero’s request, as in the case of Mr Epitome or Amazing Guy. He continues to set up circumstances that will be of use to him with the new generation of heroes to come.

The Hood has had romantic liaisons with Queen Rigantona of the Amazons, the Faerie Queen, Lisa Waltz, first lady of the Lair Legion, Dancer, and possibly Jury, Shaper of Worlds, and Death of the Pointless.

The Hooded Hood's Homepage of Doom
Who's Who in the Parodyverse
Where's Where in the Parodyverse

Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2005 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2005 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved.

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