The Compound: Part Three – Slaughtered A Hallowe’en story for the Parodyverse
Metahuman abilities are now well understood, with technology existing to enhance, block, develop, or transfer abilities through chemical, biological, technological, occult, and neurological process, utilising a range of external power sources and techniques. Recent developments in metahuman understanding have been advanced through study of captured technology and through interrogation of prisoners during the conflicts with Technopolis and the Parody Master.
Likewise, human understanding of the metaphysical states of existence – the so-called “planes of reality” - has been shaped by recent forays into some such quantum frameworks. Science has begun mapping these realms and understanding their relationship to each other and their influence on our own state of being. Methods now exist to traverse these states and interact with some metaphysical realms in a physical manner.
These two recent developments have helped to quantify and contextualise the various “supernatural” phenomena such as ghosts and poltergeists. A growing understanding of the psionic capacities of the human brain as a trigger for a range of metahuman abilities offers intriguing theoretical possibilities for harnessing the “occult” forces in the way that other energies have been, and of bringing the so-called “psychic” spectrum of activity into the unified field theory and its range of practical applications.
The Compound is now ready to engage in one such practical application. So-called “hauntings” have been psychically transferred through physical relocation of focus objects to holding containers within the facility. These psionic events have then been stripped out into the Mark II Arcanophysical Interface to generate more conventional energies for commercial activity. Early experiments have been effective because of the proximity of dimensional anomalies in the “Nexus of Unrealities” and have been very encouraging in their scope and magnitude.
The next round of investigation will include a full-scale dismantling of the current collection of metaphysical events. In the first instance the events will be “super-charged” by reversing the Interface, channelling dimensional energies into them. Thereafter they will be disassembled and utilised by the Interface to deliver cheap sustainable energy into every home. A new era of human understanding of the metaphysical will begin when this experiment unfolds.
Excerpt from the final Project Progress Analysis by Dr Ludovick Trenchcoat
***
“I can’t begin to list the ways this is not good,” said Vincent de Soth, exorcist-for-hire. He and elementalist Liu Xi Xian had just discovered the apparatus designed to shift psychic impressions such as ghosts into electromagnetic energy. And they’d discovered that the stolen ghosts gathered as raw fuel in the lonely Compound had just escaped.
“They are just ghosts.” Liu Xi had grown up in a culture that revered and honoured the spirits of their ancestors. “Could we not appease them? Can they harm us anyway even if they are angry?”
“These aren’t the echoes of people who liked you in life,” Vinny answered. “These are the remnants of souls who were so sick and twisted that when they died they left a spiritual scar behind. These are what happens when you take that scar and make it fester and grind more dirt into the wound to culture the gangrene. These are super-ghosts, and if you don’t believe me then ask all the people who worked in this Compound.”
“We haven’t found any of the people who work in this compound.”
“Exactly. These ghosts can hurt you. These ghosts want to hurt you. These ghosts can kill.”
Liu Xi looked around at the shadowed laboratory with the shattered glass cages. She could sense it getting darker. Something was pulling the light and heat away. “We need to be getting out of here,” she told Vinny. “Now.”
“Liu Xi,” Vinny answered in an odd sort of voice. “There’s nowhere left to run.”
***
Captain Harker oriented his automatic weapon on Ulrich Chainsawhands and fired a full clip at the spectral marauder. The three men of his security detail followed his lead, spraying bullets at the slightly translucent horrors that poured through the door into the computer centre.
This time the creatures were ready for the assault. The bullets didn’t stop them.
“That’s enough,” Letitia Gahagan snapped at the security detail. “It’s clear that your strategy isn’t working, so stop making that racket. Let’s try another approach.”
Harker watched Slashed Scarlet, Granny Cleaver, Death Row Dyson, Cap’n Fishbait, Lonnie the Mob, The Gutster and all the others slowly shuffling towards him. “What other approach?” he demanded. “You’re the big expert! Get us out of here!”
“Well, for starters, I thought we’d take a moment to hear the big villain’s speech of triumph,” Letitia suggested. “Dr Trenchcoat has been smart as a whip to set up this little trap so at the very least he deserves his moment of gloat.”
The young woman in the green bodysuit covered with flickering numbers had noticed something about the occult scientist whose designs had shaped the Compound: the bullets hadn’t passed through him. They had simply turned aside.
“Very good, Idiom,” Dr Trenchcoat applauded. “I like a person who can think on their feet, and who can adapt to the reality of the situation.”
Letitia checked the device on her wrist. Amongst many other functions it did actually tell the time. “Make it snappy, please,” she told the scientist. “I intend to defeat you in seven and a half minutes time, and you should really leave time before that for questions from the audience.”
“You will make a wonderful spectre,” Trenchcoat anticipated. “I may keep you for myself.”
“If we die here…” understood Captain Harker, “we join the ghosts?”
“I rather think that was the point, wasn’t it?” the Idiom checked with Trenchcoat. “You need constant deaths here, creating more psychic events, so you can continue to grow the transient waveform entities you’ve built up from your experiments.”
“You can say ghosts,” Trenchcoat told her.
“I really can’t. You fooled ZOXXON into paying for all this, into setting it up, into supplying you with your first batch of psychically vulnerable staff so you could get the operation up and running. You arranged for the nastiest hauntings you could find to be shipped here using some ingenious psychic transfer equipment. You fed the lesser hauntings to the greater ones, ramping them up to insane heights of power.”
“Um, isn’t he supposed to be explaining all this?”, helicopter pilot Stankey ventured.
“This much is self-evident,” the Idiom snapped back. “I’m just cutting through what would otherwise be a tedious and self-congratulatory monologue so we can get to the part where he announces his final revelation.”
Dr Trenchcoat chuckled. “Yes, you’ll be a fine addition to my Compound,” he admired. “As you say, I fed the angry ghosts until they were powerful indeed. Then I released them, to slaughter the staff of this place, to bind them as lesser ghosts, to become cattle for my great spirits to graze upon. When the next security troupe came they too became part of the feast.”
“We have to get out of here,” panicked Harker, fumbling another clip into his sub-machine gun.
“We can’t,” Leticia told him. “We haven’t heard the punchline yet.”
Dr Trenchcoat smirked some more. “The punchline. Very well. This is a wonderful little experiment, as far as it goes, but it does have one weakness. Can you tell me what that weakness is, Idiom?”
“Apart from you?” Letitia asked acidly. “It’s that your entities are so ramped up in power that they’re constantly hungry now. They’ve probably absorbed all the spirits they claimed in their first two massacres, and being tied to this Compound they’re dependent on luring more people to investigate. When word gets out about everybody who comes here not returning alive then the rate of volunteers investigate is going to seriously diminish. No take-away delivery service any more. Famished ghosts turning on each other. And on you, Dr Trenchcoat. That’s your flaw.”
The ghosts shuffled uneasily as they heard the Idiom’s words. For a moment they seemed to be eyeing each other.
“Is seven and a half minutes up yet?” Stankey asked shrilly. “Can we escape now?”
Dr Trenchcoat moved forward. “Everything you say is correct, my dear Idiom. But there is one more facet to my plan that elevates it from failure to absolute success. For the moment these ghosts are indeed trapped here in the Compound, dependent on the lives of whoever ventures in to sustain them. But this place was designed to supply energy to the national power grid.” He gestured around him. “From here wires connect this place to every home in North America.”
The Idiom blinked. “You’re… you can project the gh… the entities through the power lines. They could manifest anywhere someone turns on a light bulb.”
“Really,” persisted Stankey. “Seven and a half minutes, you said. Before we defeat that thing. Before we escape. It’s gotta be that now.”
“Yes,” agreed the Idiom. “Unfortunately that was what we in the trade call a desperate bluff. It was meant to get the villain to get to the good stuff. Which he has. Damn.”
“I do not yet have the capacity to project my ghosts in the way I envisage,” Dr Trenchcoat noted. “But I expect I will shortly have the insight that I need.” He gestured to Chainsawhands and Slashed Scarlet. “Kill the Idiom slowly and horribly. She will be the most essential ghost in my Compound.”
***
Just behind the darkened holding laboratory was a suite of admin rooms, including the one used by the Compound’s director. Liu Xi Xian had been a little surprised by how easily Vinny had picked the lock on the office door.
“This is horrible,” the young elementalist said as she leafed through Dr Trenchcoat’s lab notes.
“No kidding,” agreed Vinny. “Only a madman uses this much punctuation. I’m starting to get a few ideas about Ludovick Trenchcoat. Stuff I’ve heard. Stuff I’ve seen.”
Liu Xi rolled the files up and stuffed them in her jacket. “It’s clear that whatever happened here wasn’t an accident. It was planned. His plan.”
“Now all we need to do is survive long enough to get out of here and report him to the authorities,” the exorcist agreed. “Um, who’s in charge of attempted occult takeovers of the planet now? Only I heard Xander went on vacation. And he doesn’t like my family anyhow. I don’t blame him. I don’t like my family either. Only it does make knowing who you’re gonna call a bit tricky, because half the people on the list would want to eradicate me as well.”
“I know people,” Liu Xi promised him. “But as you say, we have to get out of here. It feels like we’re being surrounded by… something.”
“We’re actually safer in this part of the Compound than anywhere else,” Vinny told her. “The ghosts escaped from those cages. They won’t want to get near them again any time soon. And the machine that sucks ectoplasm into power is down here too. That’s a bit like a human feeling nervous stood next to a meat grinder. Not that I ever went with dad on those outings. I wouldn’t want you to think…”
“So what do we do?” Liu Xi demanded. “The telephones are out, the Compound is protected against mystical and electromagnetic intrusion, the elemental planes are thin as tissue here, and we’ve lost the others we came with. We can’t just sit here and be victims. I don’t do victim any more.”
Vincent De Soth looked at her again with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. “Well good. Nobody should be a victim. Especially you. Er, not that you wouldn’t look good in the gauzy white translucent sacrificial tabard. Not that I was imagining you in a gauzy white translucent sacrificial tabard, you understand. I wasn’t imagining you in anything at all.” He blanched as his brain caught up with his tongue. “I mean, I wasn’t imagining you. Not that I was imagining you with no… Well, maybe there was some imagination, but I can assure you…”
“I bet you wish the ghosts would bust in on us and rip us to pieces right now, don’t you?” Liu Xi surmised.
“Yes please.”
Liu Xi got up and left the office. There were three other rooms off the short corridor. Maybe one of them led to an emergency exit?
Two doors led to other offices, both somewhat ransacked, as if the papers and desk contents had been hurled around by an angry child. Dr Trenchcoat’s office had not been touched.
The final door led into another holding bay. That was where the missing staff from the compound and the missing security officers were.
“We… have to get out of here,” Vinny swallowed. He didn’t want to look at the gory messes that the ghosts had left after they’d had their pleasure.
“We can’t be squeamish,” Liu Xi insisted, although she looked pale and sick as well. “We have to check whether there’s another way out at the back there.”
“No,” Vinny insisted. “I mean we have to get out of here now. Those bodies there weren’t stacked up like that.”
Liu Xi looked at the neat rows of bloody raw meat that had once been human. “What do you mean?”
“Those bodies. They weren’t stacked. They laid themselves in those positions.”
The first of the zombies began to twitch, and then to rise.
“Soulless corpses plus intense arcane field by dimensional nexus,” Vinnie warned. “Instant zombie.”
Liu Xi didn’t wait for the full explanation. She grabbed Vinnie’s hand. “Run!”
***
“I’m sorry,” said Letitia Gahagan, “but it’s the best I can do.” She pressed a stud on her wrist unit and the data scrolling over the curves of her body sped up to eye-blurring speeds.
The ghost shuffled forward, enjoying the fear of their prey. Harker and his men were pushed ever back towards the rear wall of the computer centre.
“What did you do?” demanded Stankey. “Help us!”
“I did just help you,” the Idiom told him. “I’ve calibrated you to the vibrational frequencies of our attackers for a few moments. Your bullets will harm them again for as long as my suit’s power source hold out.”
Harker clung onto the words like a drowning man finding driftwood. “Right!” he shouted to his troops. “Lock and load!”
The ghosts were hurled backwards by the wall of lead. Granny Cleaver’s head exploded in a gory splatter. Cap’n Fishbait juddered backwards riddled with gunshot, getting entangled in the Gutster.
“Time to make ourselves scarce!” the Idiom called. Suddenly the scrolling numbers vanished from her costume and the skintight suit became dark and inert. “Really. It’s time to leave!”
“There’s nowhere to run, Idiom,” Dr Trenchcoat told her. The bullets were still avoiding him.
“We’ll run there anyway,” Letitia told him as they made their escape from the computer core.
“Or not,” Trenchcoat noted as Death Row Dyson managed to reach out and catch one of the troopers as he fled. The contact with the man in the floating electric chair was only momentary, but the electric spark that passed between them was lethal. There was a stench of charred flesh, then the soldier fell. The ghosts gathered round the fallen man to devour his new-made spectre.
“Keep running,” the Idiom told Harker. “You can’t help him.”
“No argument here,” Captain Harker agreed.
Louis the Mob phased through the wall beside them and snagged a second soldier, the murdered gangster’s severed body parts clutching his victim and literally tearing him to pieces.
Letitia led the way down the darkened corridor with Harker and Stankey behind her. She tried to control her panic. She could be the Idiom without the trappings. She’d still been the Idiom all those years in prison, stripped of her toys. She couldn’t die here!
“Are we lost?” gasped Harker, looking around. “Where are we?”
He and Stankey both reacted fast as Vinnie and Liu Xi rounded the corner. “Go back,” Liu Xi shouted. “Go back the other way!”
“There’s, like, dozens of hungry spooks that way,” Stankey argued.
The first zombies came into view behind Vinnie and Liu Xi.
“Do bullets stop those things?” Harker demanded of the Idiom.
“Enough of them should,” Letitia judged.
“Right then.” Harker began to empty clip after clip into the wave of shambling undead that shuffled up the corridor.
“They’re zombies,” whimpered Stankey. “They’re going to eat us!”
Vinnie comforted him. “Technically they won’t eat you. Not much. They only tear into you and try to ingest you to get at the life force they sense you have that they lack. Once you actually die they lose all interest.”
“Oh.”
“Besides, they’re more likely to rape you first than kill you. It might be a life-force thing again, but I reckon being a zombie must just make you horny.”
“Vinnie, stop calming him,” Liu Xi ordered the exorcist.
“We’re gonna die here!” Stankey insisted. “They’re gonna make us ghosts then do stuff to us!”
“That does seem to be their plan, yes,” Leticia agreed. “Especially me, since they want my genius to hook their freak-show up to the national power grid and project it anywhere they want so they can feed.”
Vinny looked up sharply. “That would be a very bad thing,” he noted.
“Yes,” agreed the Idiom. “I had managed to reach that conclusion.”
“We should stop them.”
“And that one. Any ideas how?”
“Have you got more clips, Stankey?” demanded Harker, turning to his whining comrade. “Stankey?”
Along the corridor, the zombies of the original security team sent to investigate raised their weapons and began firing back.
“Aaah!” cried Vinnie. “Undead with machine guns! That’s just not fair!”
“They are herding us,” Liu Xi realised. “Back that way.”
“Towards the computer centre,” the Idiom supplied. “We don’t want to go there.”
“This way, then,” Vinnie called. “To the confinement lab again. Quick!”
The Idiom glanced at Liu Xi. “Do we want to go to the confinement lab?”
“We don’t want to go there less than other places,” she offered.
“It’s where we need to be,” Vinnie told them, “for our famous last stand.”
***
Dr Trenchcoat gathered his collection together and moved down the corridor to the barricaded confinement facility. It was a clever choice of the humans to hide out there. The walls were still mystically protected from ectoplasmic intrusion and the ghosts were still reluctant to go back to the place of their original captivity. But it was only a temporary refuge.
“I have a proposition for you,” Trenchcoat called through the hastily-reinforced iron door. “I am only really interested in adding the Idiom to my collection. I would be willing to claim all save one of you. I would be willing to let just one of you leave here alive, if he turns the rest of you over to me.”
Inside the darkened lab Vinnie looked up incredulously. “Wow, does he think the old divide and conquer ploy is going to work here? Who’d be slimy enough to turn on his friends at a time like this?”
He froze as he heard Stankey prime his weapon behind him.
“Nobody moves, man!” shrieked Stankey. “I’m getting out of here! I can’t die here! Nobody %*$£* moves!”
“What?” Vinnie complained. “You’re falling for that?”
“He’s panicking,” the Idiom scorned. “And he’s forgotten the poisons I put in his system to kill him if I don’t survive.”
Stankey looked uncertain.
“The Idiom is once again bluffing,” Trenchcoat told them through the door. “There is no poison, except the words she had embedded in your mind. She is too soft-hearted to do all the things she can envisage. At least in life she is. In death she will be a new and magnificent being.”
Stankey hefted his gun with renewed confidence.
“This is wrong,” Liu Xi told him. “You know it is.”
Harker suddenly swung round to cover the helicopter pilot, but Stankey was already aiming a weapon at him. A spray of bullets cut through the Captain’s leg, sending him backwards in a bloody sprawl.
Liu Xi gestured and the air in Stankey’s lungs was dragged out of him. The pilot staggered, clutching his throat. Letitia hit him with a computer monitor. He went down hard.
Vinnie kicked him. A lot.
“Captain, are you alright?” Liu Xi cried, rushing over to check the gory mess that was Harker’s leg. She tore a sleeve off her dress to attempt a tourniquet.
Harker’s gun came up to press into her belly. “Not tricks this time,” he told her. “I’m leaving here alive.”
“What?” Vinnie gasped. “Whatever happened to team spirit? I mean our team spirit, not the team of spirits out there with Trenchcoat? We all know what happened to them, some kind of ectoplasmic steroids course and an attempt at world domination. I thought we were all in this together?”
“Think again,” Harker told him through pain-gritted teeth. “I had orders to make sure none of you came back alive anyway.”
“Shame,” Letitia noted. “Monty was quite cute in a rich dumb playboy kind of way.”
“Not orders from Monty Junior,” snorted the Captain. “From the board. Monty doesn’t really get to play at the big boys’ table. My orders come from the top. Nobody gets to know about what happened here.”
The Idiom looked down at the man with the gun as he held Liu Xi in a tight painful grip. “You won’t get out,” she calculated. “Not at the rate of blood loss you’re suffering. You have extensive damage to the left popliteal fossa, possibly a pierced sciatic nerve proximal to its bifurcation into the tibial and common peroneal branches.” She switched back to layman’s terms. “You’re bleeding like a stuck pig, and unless you get it fixed up you’re going to pass out then die.”
Harker snarled at her. “Fix it, then. Fix it now.”
“No,” Letitia replied, crossing her arms in front of her.
“Do it!” Harker rammed the gun into Liu Xi’s side again. “Or she dies.”
Vinny winced. “She doesn’t do victim,” he warned the soldier.
It was too late. The cartridge clip overheated and exploded, sending hot shrapnel to shred Harker’s hand. He screamed and rolled backwards even as Vinny hurled himself as Liu Xi and tackled her away.
The Idiom applied the same computer screen to Harker as she had to Stankey, then fastened a scart cable around the fallen soldier’s leg to stop him bleeding to death.
Liu Xi looked up at Vinny. “I didn’t need rescuing. I knew where the fragments were going to go.”
“Sorry. I didn’t know that. I was just trying to help.”
“I appreciate that. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Could you stop lying on top of me now?”
“Oh. Um. Sure. Sorry. Yes.”
“Be careful, De Soth,” the Idiom warned Vinny. “She could make your pants explode too.”
The barricade around the door shifted slightly. The first swirling tendrils of ectoplasm began to ooze past Vinny’s hasty defences.
“I’ve changed my mind,” Trenchcoat told the cornered humans. “Nobody gets out alive.”
***
Vinnie De Soth pushed the unruly shock of mouse-brown hair out of his face and set his jaw. “Okay,” he said to Liu Xi and Leticia. “I think I’ve got an idea.”
“I noticed,” the Idiom replied, glancing at Liu Xi Xian.
“Not that,” blushed Vinnie. “Not that I was having ideas. About Liu Xi. Not that I couldn’t have ideas. She’s very pretty. I could think up all sorts of… Not that I have thought…”
“What was your idea, Vinnie?” Liu Xi rescued him. “The original one, before the Idiom sent you into another of your verbal spasms.”
The exorcist blinked for a moment then remembered. “Oh, yeah. That idea. Well, I figured that we’re going to have to do one of those things where the team puts its differences aside and works together, each contributing a specialism that helps save the day, kind of thing.”
The Idiom put down the circuit board she’d been fiddling with for the last ten minutes. “Carry on.”
“Well, we’re stuck in this lab, and the wardings will hold out for maybe another half hour before the ghosts find a way through. After that we’re dead. Or undead. But we are holed up in an occult laboratory, next to that Mark II Arcanophysical Interface thingie. We have an elementalist and an exorcist and a top-rank mad scientist. Er, I mean weird scientist. So us being locked in here is kind of the equivalent of the bad guys locking up the A-Team in an engineering shed with a stripped down 4x4 and acetylene welding gear.”
“You think we could maybe use the Arcanophysical Interface against the ghosts?” Liu Xi asked, interested. She ran a hand over its smooth cold bevelled surface. “Could we find a way to do that?”
“I pity the fool who thinks we can’t,” the Idiom told them. She slotted home the circuit board she’d been working on since they came in. “That should do it. Xian will provide the power, De Soth will perform the exorcism to shift the psychoplasmic waveforms into the Interface, and I will provide the raw genius.”
“Sounds like a plan!” agreed Liu Xi, suddenly excited.
“I love it when they come together,” answered Letitia Gahagan. She’d had plenty of time to watch lots of reruns when she’d been in prison.
Vinnie didn’t seem so enthusiastic. Then again, he was the one who was going to have to unblock the barricade and face the ghosts.
***
“I’ve worked out who you are now,” Vincent De Soth told Ludovick Trenchcoat. “I’ve worked out what you are.”
The director of the ZOXXON Psychic Resources Alternate Energy Unit stood a mere two feet from the unkempt exorcist, held back now by a single line of dripped wax. “And what am I?”
Vinnie kept in his face, even though the ranks of the dead seethed just behind Trenchcoat, eager to surge over the thin line of defence and devour all that lived. “You? You’re the Compound.” He gestured at the underground construction they were trapped in. “Oh, this is the Compound too. I mean, it’s called the Compound. But it’s not the real Compound. That was your little joke.”
“How so?”
“You’re possessed, Ludo. Again. This must be, what, the fifth, sixth time you’ve been taken over by demonic entities or dead spirits? You’ve gotta find a better profession, man. But you’re possessed.”
“By whom?”
Vinnie shrugged. “Well that’s it, isn’t it? It’s not any one ghost or devil. Not even a whole bunch of them in a legion. You’ve become some kind of gestalt psychic melting pot where all kinds of ghosts get mixed together. Basically, a Compound.”
“Very clever,” admitted Trenchcoat. “Yes, I am something new. Something wonderful.”
“Who did it to you?” Vinny demanded. “The Necromancer General? Vrykoulakas? Baron Otto? Morgosa?” A nasty thought occurred to him. “It wasn’t dad, was it?”
“A shame you’ll never know,” Trenchcoat laughed at him. “Your spirit is small and will take very little time to devour.”
Vinny swallowed hard but held his ground. “Do those other ghosts know?” he demanded of the Compound. “What you’re planning for them, I mean?”
The ghosts shifted uneasily behind Trenchcoat. Chainsawhands and Gutster and Eyedriller and Lonnie the Mob looked uncertain.
“He hasn’t told you?” Vinnie challenged them. “Oh man, you just bought it didn’t you? Ludo pulls together all the hauntings he can, and he feeds up the most powerful ones with the small fry. Now you’re bigger and nastier than you ever were, ready to surge out across the world feeding and growing at will. That had to look like a good dead. Except…”
“Silence,” Dr Trenchcoat ordered the exorcist.
“Except you have to ask yourselves |why is he feeding you up? Why is an entity made up of absorbed bits of other ghosts fattening you so nicely? Come on, anybody? Hands in the air.”
The attention of the ghosts was no longer on Vinny. It was on Trenchcoat.
“This is ludicrous,” the occultist said. “The boy is trying to divide us.”
“Sure,” agreed Vinny. “That’s how you beat a Compound.”
The ghosts surrounded Trenchcoat.
“Very well,” growled the Compound, glowering at the phantoms. “If you will not obey me you can join me now!” Luminous streamed burst out from Trenchcoat’s body and skewered the ghosts that clustered around him. The phantoms began to shiver and spasm, gradually growing thinner. The Compound was growing.
Liu Xi moved up behind Vinny and placed a piece of silver wire cable into his palm. “This is it,” she told him. “Do or die.”
“Or undie,” Vinny added.
Vinnie and Liu Xi clasped their hands together round the conduit, stepped over the protective wax circle and rammed the wire into Dr Trenchcoat. The Idiom slammed her hand down on the activation pad on the Arcanophysical Interface.
There was a shower of sparks and some screaming, then darkness.
***
“So what happened then?” Montgomery Hole asked anxiously, handing drinks to Liu Xi and Vinnie as they sat again in his luxury office. “After the lights went out.”
“Nothing,” Vinnie said quickly, blushing. “Nothing at all. What do you think happened? Anyway, it was pitch black and I couldn’t see where my hands were or where anybody’s lips might be in the way of my head and…”
“I think Mr Hole wishes to know what became of Dr Trenchcoat and the ghosts,” Liu Xi suggested, suppressing a little flush of her own. “And the Idiom. And his research facility.”
“Oh, that. Right. Well, by then all the ghosts were linked to Trenchcoat – or the Compound Entity that possessed him. We translated that into electricity and directed it through the power grid to a specific address.”
“The Lair Mansion on Parody Island,” Liu Xi supplied. “Specifically to the Manga Shoggoth’s mp3 player. The rest was up to him.”
“Then Letitia used your computer links to download the files of what you did to the Office for Paranormal Security then made a money transfer for one billion dollars from your accounts to Greenpeace,” Vinny explained. “And then we all ran for our lives.”
“Why?” Monty wondered how he was going to write this one up for the board.
“Well, Greenpeace does a lot of good work, saving the environment and helping endangered species,” Vinnie explained.
“Why did you run?” Monty clarified.
“The Nexus of Unrealities has a guardian,” Liu Xi answered. “A guardian that wasn’t amused by people messing with Arcanophysical Interface generators and Compound Spirits and all that sort of thing so near to his patch.”
“The so-called Bog Thing,” Monty remembered.
“That was the old guardian,” Vinny said. “The nice one. Crapsack’s nothing like as friendly. Or hygienic. So Liu Xi and I grabbed the two soldiers you’d sent to kill is and she did something… pretty awesome with void manipulation, and we basically surfed the elemental surge out about as far as the realm of corposant fire then hitched our way back to your infirmary.”
“And the Idiom?”
Liu Xi shrugged. “We didn’t see a body. Only a great steaming stinking sess hole where your Compound used to be.” The elementalist looked at the ZOXXON vice-president. “You won’t find her. I’m guessing she’s smarter than you are.”
Vinnie stood up and clapped his hands. “So, if we’re done here I’d like to collect my cheque and get back to my business. Online tarot readings don’t do themselves, you know. Well, not if you can’t afford the software. And I still owe Alto Tumour three weeks’ back rent.”
Liu Xi stood as well. “And I need to thank Al B. for sending me on this investigation,” she added. “And maybe buy the Shoggoth a new maquette.” She thought again about Dr Trenchcoat. “That’s assuming he hasn’t already got one.”
Vinnie raided his hand hesitantly. “Um, if you’re travelling though that elemental void manipulation thing you do, do you think I could get a lift home to GMY?” he ventured. “Only I don’t actually have my own luxury helicopter.”
“I imagine I could get you back there,” Liu Xi agreed with a tolerant sigh.
“Thank you. You’re wonderful.”
“You don’t actually have to be in quite this much physical contact for the void folding to work, Vinny.”
“Really? Sorry. I had no idea.”
***
Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2007 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2007 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. |
Cute ending. Sorry it took me a while to read it. (no text) - Scott - Thu Nov 15, 2007 at 09:47:37 pm EST