Baron Zemo's Lair

Hmmm...I got some free time...READ IF YOU DARE
Thursday, 13-May-1999 15:05:16 writes:

    Let's's a timeline of significant events...sorta.Some of them are a little out of place,but bare with me.


    1.Jarvis accidentally creates alternate reality when his cosmic powers go out of control.

    2.It's sister universe,Sigmanet,is affected by the energy wave and the two universes merge to form the AMB.

    4.Zemo's rivalry with Jarvis begins.

    5.The League of Regulars is formed.

    6.Baron Zemo founds the League of the Left-Outs to counteract the regulars.

    7.Hollywood V splinters off and creates his own team,the League of the Forgotten.

    8.spiffy begins acting strangely and Jarvis loses his powers under mysterious circumstances.

    9.spiffy turns on the Regulars and joins the League of Left-Outs,killing two poor dogs in the process.

    10.NTU-150 is wounded in battle and takes on a hologram form while recovering.

    11.The Great Parody Flood occurs,in the ensuing cosmic upheavels of continuity the AMB is split in half,creating the Parodyverse,and is shunted through reality into a place called Baron Zemo's Lair.

    12.NTU-150 fully recovers and resumes an active role in the League.

    13.spiffy is revealed to be working for a dark,mysterious figure called the Dark,Mysterious Figure.

    14.The Cosmic Cube makes an odd appearance and it ends up in spiffy's hands.This storyline has yet to be followed up.

    15.spiffy conquers France out of boredom and becomes it's new ruler.

    16.Dark,Mysterious Figure warns spiffy several times to relinquish control of France and when he fails to comply,spiffy is seemingly killed.

    17.Lisa has hextuplets.Headaches insue.

    18.League of Irregulars and the League of the Left-Ins arrive in the Parodyverse and are eventually defeated.Anti-Jarvis,there leader,is seemingly destroyed,but has shown up in several other stories.

    19.spiffy appears alive and well and it is revealed that he had been replaced by an evil version of himself early on.

    20.John Byrne attempts to take over the Parodyverse,is thwarted at the cost of the Dark Knight's life.

    21.The Man Who Wasn't There is cloned and his clone joins the League of Regulars.He is booted off the team due to a misunderstanding about a winning lottery ticket and this leads to a series of events culminating in the birth of Carrington,the Shaper of Worlds.

    22.Lisa has hextuplets.Massive headaches ensue.

    23.Due to the manipulations of Virtual Zemo,one of the remaining Antiversers,an International Incident ensues and the League of Regulars meet Akiko Masamune,mob boss of the Yakuza.

    24.The Chronicler of Stories appears with no explanation and joins the League as a consultant.He is later revealed to be the ressurected Dark Knight,though the circumstances surrounding these events are still unclear.

    25.Baron Zemo renames the Left-Outs at the behest of Pegasus,creating the confusing Scourge of Baron Zemo's Lair.

    26.Jarvis decides to change the League of Regulars' name as well,and after much debate they are re-christened the Lair Legion.

    27.The Parody Master arrives in the Parodyverse and the Parody Wars ensue.He is eventually defeated and vows that he will one day crush the Legion.

    28.spiffy finds out that his evil self was killed and gets annoyed that the Legion didn't bother to investigate any further.He sets off on his own.

    29.A series of events leads up to spiffy confronting his evil self with the help of the Lair Legion,and evil spiffy is finally brought down by a redneck named Farmer Bob and his shotgun.Ironic,eh?

    30.spiffy buys a mansion full of beavers for some odd reason.

    31.Bubba,spiffy's alternate reality self,appears in the Parodyverse and falls in love with Lisa.Jarvis is angered and resigns from the Lair Legion.

    32.Lisa is kidnapped by Lo-Chi,Jarvis' estranged ex-wife,and Jarvis rescues her,re-joining the Lair Legion and rekindling their romance.

    33.Jarvis once AGAIN breaks up with Lisa after finding out she's been cheating with him.Jarvis later saves her by sacrificing his own life to defeat the demon Abbub,an alternate reality version of Bubba.

    34.Yo is kidnapped and Messenger travels deep into Antarctica to rescue him from Elmer Fudd,and is pulled through a portal into Animatron,a world of cartoon characters.

    35.Messenger makes a pact with the time god Chronos and completes several missions through time allowing him to return to his own time period.He inadvertently dooms the Parodyverse and is mystically cursed that if he dies,so does the universe.

    36.DarkHwk dies in battle with the Rainmaker,but his soul is shunted to another dimension and eventually returns to our reality in a synthetic body,although another amulet-wielder seemingly has sinister machinations afoot.

    37.A Mob War begins and the Lair Legion end up in the employ of Akiko Masamune,head of the Yakusa.They retain a contract with her to this day.

    38.Cheryl takes a job with NASA and moves away for a time.Visionary resigns and goes on the road with Fleabot.They still have yet to make their way out of a huge cornfield.

    39.Jarvis returns from the dead after being ressurected by a mysterious race of beings and breaks up the wedding of Lisa and Bubba.

    40.Jarvis falls in love and is engaged to a woman named Courtney,who is later killed in a car accident and ressurected as the cosmic being Jury.

    41.A series of confusing events with the Chronicler of Stories takes place.For the full story,read the recent collected edition of Resolutions.

    42.Courtney's memory is erased from the mind of everyone on earth except Jarvis,who now has a deadly rival in Pallas,the Chronicler's mystical raven advisor.

    43.More confusing events take place and the Chronicler once again becomes the Dark Knight.Wait a minute,WTF?!

    44.Overpower battles the Lair Legion and Parodiopolis is destroyed with an atom bomb.

    45.The Legion builds a new city out of half of New Gothametropolis York Village,christened New Parody City.The dropping of a nuclear weapon nearby mysteriously causes no ill effects such as radiation poisoning.They must've had some damn good shielding,and/or walked around in lead bodysuits...

    46.Baron Zemo builds a new underwater base out of the wreckage of Parodiopolis which he calls Oceania.

    47.The Great and Terrible One is accidentally created by the Shaper of Worlds and begins his long trek through space.He may or may not eventually doom the earth.

    48.Messenger is framed for the murder of New Parody City's mayor.While he is eventually cleared,Yo's purple thought bunny sacrifices it's life.Yo is not being liking uncute beings who are being hurting bunnies.

    49.The mysterious alien known only as Pierson's Porter arrives on earth,orchestrating a series of events where Lisa is married to the Grim Reaper,who is seemingly killed by Jarvis,who is then estranged from Lisa _AGAIN_,and the,uh,moon blows up.Don't ask.

    50.NTU-150's rogue creation Zip murders most of the Lair Legion and destroys a fair-sized chunk of New Parody City.He is eventually stopped by NTU-150,who then dies himself.The Yo's prevent the coming of a mysterious alien race who want to destroy most of the population of Earth and appear to have been using Jarvis as an unwitting puppet and destroy them.

    51.The Yo-beings mentally ressurect the fallen heroes and recreate the destroyed Parodiopolis with their combined thought energy.The Lair Legion is trimmed down to a roster of 12,consisting of:

    Dark Knight
    Fin Fang Foom
    Rocket Raccoon
    & CrazySugarFreakBoy!

    However,DarkHwk stays on as a lab assistant to NTU and Space Ghost is still around because he's too drunk to know any better.

    52.The Lair Legion occupy a huge (and cool!) new base on a mini-island off the coast of Parodiopolis called the Lair.

    53.The Hooded Hood arrives in the Parodyverse and his sinister machinations begin...

    54.Who knows?Now that we've gotten all of that out of the way,let's sit back and enjoy!


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history???? (12-May-1999 18:43:05)

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