Tales of the Parodyverse

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Manga Shoggoth
Thu Oct 14, 2004 at 05:27:35 am EDT
(ahem) The first draft of the writers notes...
It's not a problem. Nor does it rarely happen to me.

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Wed Oct 13, 2004 at 04:54:39 pm EDT

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> >
> > My view is that Ebony was affected by accident, and that because of her association with the Shoggoth the effect went wrong, leaving her with a sixteen year old body.
> >
> > And the Shoggoth is very protective of its priestesses...
> I noticed. How old is Ebony when she's not transmogrified? Actually, a complete physical description would be most helpful...

Under normal circumstances (and you can assume that normal service has been resumed...), Ebony has the following vital statistics:


Ebony of Nubilia.


Most Holy Ebony (formal), Ebony (preferred).


She appears to be in her early twenties.

Bear in mind, however, that above all else she grew up in the jungles and has very little truck with the civilised idea of age. In addition, travelling with the Shoggoth tends to affect your perception of linear time.

As a result of the "Follies" story we can assume that she was sacrificed (and rescued) around her mid-teens, since her body regressed to her early neophyte days.


5' 7" or so. Very slim, but not anorexic. Coffee-coloured skin, brown expressive eyes. Has a very effective stare when she needs to use it.

Usually dressed in flowing white robes, held closed with a belt with an ornate buckle. She does have a set of "formal" High Priestess regailia, but seldom wears it as it is too (ahem) draughty.

She also wears an amulet with a small, rather disturbing, pearl imbedded in it. This is her badge of office - the pearl is, of course, a fragment of the Shoggoth. Bad things are likley to happen if someone takes the amulet from her - as has been noted, the Shoggoth is very protective of its High Priestesses.

The amulet has been known to change form depending on the occasion - for example it turned itself into a tiara (with a heart-shaped pearl) when Ebony was dressed up as a cheerleader.


None. Ebony is exactly as she appears. Except...


Ebony was born and raised in the jungles of Nubilia (a sort of darkest Africa with vague Lovecraftean overtones). She was not exposed to the "delights" of civilisation until her mid-teens, when one of the local cults decided to try worshipping the Shoggoth, and picked on her as a sacrifice.

The service was rather ruined by the appearance of the Shoggoth, who dealt with the High Priest in the usual manner and then carried Ebony off.

This, incidentally, is where Ebony developed her dislike of High Priests.

She was then trained up to be the the new High Priestess of the Cult of the Shoggoth. This was initially done by Most Holy Bridgit (a one-time Celtic Priestess), and on her retirement by the Shogoth itself.

The Office of High Priestess:

In UT172, Ebony rather neatly summed up her job as follows:
"There are basically two kinds of priests," Ebony explained to Nitz the Bloody. "Well, three if you count the screaming cultist sacrificing-virgins kind, but it's really best to just put them out of their misery."

"Okay," Nitz agreed. "And the other two?"

"There's the priests who get direct communication with their deity…"

"Like say seeing a big rhino that talks to them?" the Priest of Zeku asked anxiously.

"Or carrying a bit of their employer round in an amulet," added Ebony, indicating the rather pretty necklace she was wearing. "And there are those who have to get by on faith alone, just like the other worshippers."

"The ones with made-up gods," Nitz suggested.

"Or gods too big to fit into a rhino or an amulet," Ebony suggested. "Anyway, a priest of either kind has two basic jobs."

"One of them isn't sermons, is it?" Nitz asked worriedly. "I don't think I'm good at sermons."

"The priest acts as their god's representative, a kind of middle-man or woman, saying and doing the things the god wants saying or doing. In my case with the Shoggoth, who's not exactly a god so much as a loathsome squamous elder entity, what he usually wants doing is buying DVDs and what he usually wants saying is 'Why aren't they making any more Tenchi?'"

"Zeku usually wants me to root out misuses of his power, Drak Zeku, and to care for the planet and stuff," Nitz admitted. "DVD purchasing would be so much cooler."

"But the second part," Ebony went on, "the second part is still more important. You see the priest really is like a middle man, a mouthpiece. But it works both ways. The priest has to convince people to do as his god wants, but he also has to convince his god to do what the people want."

"Like a lobbyist in Congress."

"Only with less of a hospitality budget. The priest represents the needs of the people. Stands up for them." Ebony sighed. "Sometimes our bosses don't really understand what it means to be human, so they need us to stop them getting carried away or missing the point." She looked at Nitz seriously. "Sometimes the bravest thing you'll be called on to do is to say no to your god."

"I was going to say aren't gods supposed to be infallible," Nitz admitted, "but then I thought of Zeku's track record."

"If there was a god who really understood being human, and who really was infallible… well, that would be a terrifying, awesome thing indeed," Ebony whispered. "That might be a very different discipleship." She shrugged and lightened up. "But us, we just try to stop the boss from eating the McDonalds stand not just the burger, you with me?"

A simillar sentiment was more bluntly expressed in "Leaving and Cleaving":

"Worship, respect and obedience?"

The last things I need in a High Priestess. ( IP Address
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