Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By

Tricky, idol of millions
Fri Jun 04, 2004 at 01:27:42 am EDT
Subject
Ha! This'll be a sinch.
Originally
The Junior Lair Legion Programme Multiple Choice Exam Paper
In Reply To

HH invites the heroes of the Parodyverse to try out the questions the youngsters have to face 9and suggest any others you'd like to add)
Thu Jun 03, 2004 at 09:17:20 am EDT
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> Superhero Name:

Trickshot


> Alternate superhero description (e.g. capped crusader, wired wonder):

Battling Bowman

> Cutesy nickname (e.g. Coat Rack, Dancy, Fake Man):

Hey loud mouth, arogant archer,jerkface


> Bra Size: [This question deleted and we don’t let Flapjack near the printing press again]
>
heh.


> Section One: Superhero Etiquette:
>
> 1. You have just captured Professor Manyarms, and now there is a raging turf war going on between the Office of Paranormal Security and the Super-Menace Principal Undercover Division about who has jurisdiction about the arrest. Do you:
>
> C.    Refer them to Finny; it’s his problem and he’s paid to deal with crap like this

>
> 2. In combat with VelcroVixen, her halter top somehow comes loose in your hand, leaving her somewhat short in the costume department. Do you:
>
> D.    Dive on top of her to save her from public exposure and not get off until it’s safe.


>
>
> 3. You’ve just arrived at the crime scene and there’s an unknown super-type leaning over the body. Do you:
>
> A.    Flatten the unidentified person and check later whether they’re a goodie or a baddie.

>
>
> 4. The Yurt wants your submarine sandwich. Do you:
>
> E.    Toss the submarine sandwich through the window of the Lynchpin of Crime’s office.

Heh. I gotta see this! Fat &*^%$ deserves it!



> 5. You discover that you are now retconned to be another of the Hooded Hood’s children (or, if spiffy, retconned again). Is your first reaction:
>
> E.    “Crap! Does this mean I inherit Flapjack?”
>
>
> Section Two: Heroes and Villains
>
> 6. Peter von Doom is about to blow up the world again, and only you can talk him away from the big red lever. What do you say?
>
> A.    “C’mon. You know you’re so lame it’s never really going to work anyway.”
> E.    “I’m guessing given the size of your lever that you have an awfully small penis.”

Gotta do both.



> 7. NTU-150 entrusts you with his newest invention, the Bautistamatic Electronic Toothbrush. Do you:
>

> C.    Hide it in Visionary’s bed.
Not the first time I hid stuff there. heh.


>
>
> 8. You’re facing off against your evil double. Do you:

> E.    Point out that there’s at least a case for them actually being the good double.

Been there, done that but I'll chose that anyway.



>
> 9. Wang the Conqueror is back in the latest interminable Round Robin, and only you can stop him. Do you:
>
> C.    Try and get him to tell you next week’s winning lottery numbers.


>
>
> 10. The diabolical Dr Moo has poisoned you so you have one hour to live. Do you:
>

> B.    Grab Davidowicz and shout “Give me the antidote or the rat gets it!”

> Section Three: Coping With Crisis
>
> 11. You’re late for that all-important date/job interview/school exam but your archenemy is tearing up central Paradopolis. Do you:
>
> A.    Fake a headache, run off with your childhood bully’s taunts ringing in your ears,and leap into action.beat the %%^&$ out of bully, THEN GO TO THE MAIN EVENT.




>
>
> 12. During the battle, your sweetheart is about to fall to her death off the Englehart Bridge, the archvillain has just set fire to a busload of orphans, the negativity-bomb is ticking down to zero and will kill half the hemisphere, the snoopy girl reporter has just taken a picture of you with your mask torn off, and your tights have ridden up really badly. What do you deal with first?
>
> E.    Er, what were the problems again?
>
>
> 13. Hit by the villain’s mutation ray, would you rather be transformed into:
>
> B.    A radioactive dinosaur.

Anything's better then being Nats.

>
>
> 14. You are wrongly accused of a crime you didn’t commit by a world that hates and fears you. Do you:
>
> E.    Report the matter to Visionary and tell people to forward the bills and lawsuits to him.
>
>
> 15. It’s one of those massive all-the-heroes vs all-the-villains battles, and you have to pick an opponent. Do you go for:
>
> C.    Gamona the Assassin. I mean c’mon, she only wears tattoos, who’s not going to wrestle with her?
>
> Hand in your papers at the end of the period. Do not include an combustibles, meat products, or undergarments.
>
Ah man, not even a timed smoke arrow?


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