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Post By davie brunsen Sat Jun 05, 2004 at 03:51:02 am EDT |
Subject I take test! Originally The Junior Lair Legion Programme Multiple Choice Exam Paper |
In Reply To HH invites the heroes of the Parodyverse to try out the questions the youngsters have to face 9and suggest any others you'd like to add) Thu Jun 03, 2004 at 09:17:20 am EDT |
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| The Junior Lair Legion Programme Multiple Choice Exam Paper *Green crayon all over test* > Write-in answers are allowed. Do not write on both sides of the page at once. *pictures in cryon showing Daddy hitting Hoody Hood with stars..SHHOOM!* > Superhero Name: I DAVID! > Alternate superhero description (e.g. capped crusader, wired wonder): I 4! > Cutesy nickname (e.g. Coat Rack, Dancy, Fake Man): I 4! > > *drawing of brown hunchback getting beat up by stick figures* > Section One: Superhero Etiquette: > > 1. You have just captured Professor Manyarms, and now there is a raging turf war going on between the Office of Paranormal Security and the Super-Menace Principal Undercover Division about who has jurisdiction about the arrest. Do you: > > A. Call Lisa and tell her there’s a lucrative lawsuit in the offing. > B. Despair at bureaucracy, hurl your costume in a trash can, and walk away up an alley. > C. Refer them to Finny; it’s his problem and he’s paid to deal with crap like this > D. Deliver a lecture on truth and justice. > E. Quietly off the villain so he won’t be causing trouble ever again. > *red crayon coloring all over this part* > 2. In combat with VelcroVixen, her halter top somehow comes loose in your hand, leaving her somewhat short in the costume department. Do you: > > A. Stop the battle and offer your cape to the distressed lady. > B. Make bitchy comments about bad implant jobs. > C. Look away until she has had time to replace her garment and/or pull out her mega-death ray. > D. Dive on top of her to save her from public exposure and not get off until it’s safe. > E. Drop her through the pavement into the sewers, that should cover up the little tart good and proper. *this part too* > 3. You’ve just arrived at the crime scene and there’s an unknown super-type leaning over the body. Do you: *a badly drawn spaceship over this question* SHHHOOOM! > 4. The Yurt wants your submarine sandwich. Do you: > YUM! I WANT SAN-WISH! I WANT SAN-WISH! > > 5. You discover that you are now retconned to be another of the Hooded Hood’s children (or, if spiffy, retconned again). Is your first reaction: > I SNIFFY! *Rubs pulled up plants all over test* > > Section Two: Heroes and Villains > > 6. Peter von Doom is about to blow up the world again, and only you can talk him away from the big red lever. What do you say? > *red crayon all over question with happy scary face* GET YOU BADDIE! VROOOM! > > > 7. NTU-150 entrusts you with his newest invention, the Bautistamatic Electronic Toothbrush. Do you: > I BRUSH TEETH TOO! > > 8. You’re facing off against your evil double. Do you: > I AM NO EVL BUBBLE! *Black crayon carved into paper > > 9. Wang the Conqueror is back in the latest interminable Round Robin, and only you can stop him. Do you: > *drawing of purple stick figure getting stepped on by green smudge* I FINNY! ROARRR! *Paper has hole burned in it* > > 10. The diabolical Dr Moo has poisoned you so you have one hour to live. Do you: > I WANT MILK! GIMMIE MILK! > > Section Three: Coping With Crisis > > 11. You’re late for that all-important date/job interview/school exam but your archenemy is tearing up central Paradopolis. Do you: > *Odd yellow stain on question* > > 12. During the battle, your sweetheart is about to fall to her death off the Englehart Bridge, the archvillain has just set fire to a busload of orphans, the negativity-bomb is ticking down to zero and will kill half the hemisphere, the snoopy girl reporter has just taken a picture of you with your mask torn off, and your tights have ridden up really badly. What do you deal with first? > MOMMY SAFE! I SAVE HER! *Perfectly detailed drawing of Davie's mother falling from bridge and Davie in cape and tights saveing her. Drawing moves in 3D as you look at it. It exists in 5 dementions* > > 13. Hit by the villain’s mutation ray, would you rather be transformed into: > I NADS! VROOOOM! ME FLY! > > > 14. You are wrongly accused of a crime you didn’t commit by a world that hates and fears you. Do you: > Me good boy! Me make you see me good boy! *text grabs the reader and meserizes him or her for 15 minutes, leaving reader to only think that Davie is a good boy* > > 15. It’s one of those massive all-the-heroes vs all-the-villains battles, and you have to pick an opponent. Do you go for: > *messy crayon drawing of a bunch of stick figures. Orange one has no head. Lots of red messy lines comming from many stick figures* Nads had boo boo! Sara draw blood! Sara help! Me go poo poo now! > > Hand in your papers at the end of the period. Do not include an combustibles, meat products, or undergarments. *strange brown smears at end of test.*
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