Tales of the Parodyverse

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Subject: Valued Employee: A minor Saving the Future tie in, with a Disturbing Content Warning.




Rupert Weissman stared sullenly out the back window of the sleek black limousine as it made its way through mid-day traffic. "This is beneath me" he grumbled, his thin lips curling in disgust.

The passenger riding opposite him, facing forward, didn't bother looking up from the digiscreen she was studying. "Would that we all could lead lives as pure as yours, Rupert" she noted with only the slightest trace of a scoff. She pushed up the pink sleeve of her coat and checked her watch, then pressed the call button. "Driver, stop by Yakatomi plaza. Midori will be waiting for us out front."

"Yes, Ms. Masamune."

The old man in the moth-eaten suit turned his frown on her as she went back to reading her reports. "It's beneath you too, you know" he noted.

"Mmmm" she responded, keying the next page. "I do value your insights, Rupert. But then, "...Many a king on a first class throne... must manage somehow to get through more dirty work than ever I do"."

"I mean it, Akiko..." he persisted. "This kind of thing goes too far. My agreement with you was only for..."

Her eyes finally left her reading material and locked onto his with a chilling fierceness. "Your agreement with me was for life, Rupert" she noted flatly. "Your life, and your office, shielded from the Parody Master and his forge. In exchange, you advise me whenever I deem it is necessary for you to do so. There is no renegotiation to be done."

He tried to meet her stare, but ultimately turned away. He didn't like looking into those eyes... Not because of the threats they implied, even though those were 100% authentic. Nor was it as simple as what she was at heart. Disturbing to recognize as they may be, sociopaths... even such highly functioning ones as Akiko Masamune... were not nearly so uncommon as to be especially notable. No, it was the way those sociopathic tendencies manifested in her. Akiko Masamune had little or no empathy at all... no ability to feel for any other living thing. Others with her make-up had traditionally become some of the most pure monsters society has had the misfortune of dealing with... Creatures of relentless and towering sadism. But Akiko also possessed a terrible discipline within her that allowed her to function in spite of this missing piece of humanity. If she could not comprehend of an emotional connection to the world around her, she had found a way to compensate by finding a value in everyone and everything all the same. A cold, clinical and measured value in every object, person and action she beheld. What currency she used to tally the results was known only to her, as was whatever her ultimate goal in accumulating it happened to be... But it was that calculating, almost mechanical regard that Rupert Weisman found so impressive, and yet so uncomfortable to face.

Some things simply hit too close to home.

The limo pulled up to the curb and the driver circled around to open the back door for the latest passenger. A young Japanese woman in a sharp black business suit entered the vehicle, taking a seat next to Rupert across from her Mistress. Midori did not interrupt her employer's perusal of the digiscreen, nor did she greet or otherwise acknowledge the old appraiser. Instead, she simply clasped her thin briefcase to her lap and waited for the woman in pink to address her. The limo driver returned to the wheel and pulled them back into traffic.

If Rupert was uncomfortable looking directly at Akiko, he was outright enrapt by Midori, starring steadily at her every time they were together. It was not her beauty that drew his attention so... in fact, she was nothing overly special in that department. Attractive, yes, but a dime a dozen in her native Tokyo. No, it was what she was under her skin that fascinated him so. Under the flesh, blood and bone was something so wonderfully, horribly unique: the prized possession of a twisted, singular mind... one that had refused to let go. She was a work of art by a true artist, albeit a work that could not possibly be fully appreciated by any but her creator himself. That Akiko valued the girl's mind was without question, although it was for entirely different and more mundane reasons. No, Rupert believed that he was the only one alive who could appreciate just what this woman truly was... and how does one assign the value of something like that?

"Are they ready for us?" Akiko asked finally as she skimmed the next report in her file.

"Yes" Midori replied, brushing a lock of hair behind one ear. "They have obtained a confession... they only wait for verification."

"Good" the woman in pink replied, finishing her reading and setting the digiscreen aside. She leaned back in the leather seating. "Any problems at Yakatomi?"

"The board of directors was, as always, grateful to hear your suggestions" Midori replied with a small nod. "The measure passed by a vote of thirteen to two."

Akiko raised a thin eyebrow. "Two? I was expecting resistance from Morimoto, of course. Who joined him?"

"Kaneshiro."

Her eyes darkened. "What holdings does he have?"

Midori's head cocked ever-so-slightly to the side. "He has invested heavily in the Cho Meadows development under way in Dullard's corner. The projected payout for his share should prove to be substantial, provided that the project stays on schedule for completion. His savings are well protected in a diverse number of smaller investments, however they would prove difficult to liquefy in event of an emergency. I believe this is balanced by a number of below-board ventures I have been able to trace back to his estate, in the realm of eight point six million dollars... undeclared."

The crime lord tapped her lips thoughtfully with an index finger. "Tell me Midori, have we found a way to accommodate Montiver Hole on his disposal problems yet?"

"Arrangements have yet to be made."

"Excellent. Be sure to alert the proper authorities in the E.P.A. to the illegal dumping of toxic waste at the Cho Meadows site at the appropriate time, so as to best coincide with the news of an impending investigation into Kaneshiro on the charges of income tax evasion. I want it all coming out in the same news cycle."

The personal assistant nodded. "What level of clean up?"

Akiko pondered it. "Cho Meadows is a Avis development, is it not?" she snorted. "Superfund, I should think. I want his investment valueless, Kaneshiro's assets frozen by the feds, and his name poison to every business dealing in this town."

"And Morimoto?"

She smiled coldly. "Have something sent to his office the morning the news breaks. Some expensive fruit basket with absurdly overpriced, fresh produce from somewhere inaccessible, and a card letting him know how much I appreciate our ability to agree to disagree on what's best for his company." Her eyes flashed as she leaned back. "It will be a while before he'll be able to entice anyone to vote with him again." Just as quickly as it came, the emotion was gone from her eyes. "What else is there?"

Midori made a face. "That woman's office called about a lunch date tomorrow."

"Really? How delightful" Akiko responded, raising an eyebrow slightly. "Clear my schedule, and call back to accept."

The assistant opened her briefcase and retrieved a sleek cellular phone, handing it to her employer without bothering to dial... she hardly needed to, after all. "Her private number is ringing, if you'd care to do so yourself."

A thin smile turned up the corners of Akiko's mouth as she took the phone to her ear. "Beth, darling..." she spoke into it with a very precise and intentional hint of insincerity, as was expected of her. "Absolutely, we simply must meet for lunch. You know how much I enjoy our get togethers, and besides, I always have an interest in the workings of the Lair Legion... certainly doubly so in this period of transition... Indeed, indeed. Yes, that sounds perfect... See you there." She hung up and returned the phone to her assistant. "We'll be lunching on the terrace at Chez Perez tomorrow. Call ahead to let the chef know to make something special."

"The vessel Dory Maru is a half day's return from port and reporting an excellent catch of rare Badripoorian toothfish" Midori answered. "I'll arrange for a shipment to Chez Perez directly. I believe Chef Georgie has an exquisite recipe for it combined with a sea urchin sauce and matsutake mushrooms."

Masamune waived her hand. "Yes, fine." She turned her head to peer out the window as the car pulled to a stop. "Good... we're here."

Here was a small side-street deep in the area of the city known as Mangatown, the thriving Japanese territory that Masamune ruled as head of the Yakusa. The driver hurried to open the door, allowing the small party from the interior of the limo out onto treets still soaked from an early morning rain shower. Rupert observed that the few citizens on the street turned their eyes downward in a display of respect for the pink crime lord as she emerged, while some of the younger citizens openly gawked from windows above. Midori led them across the sidewalk and down an alley to an unmarked steel door which was opened for them as they approached. A young Japanese man in an expensive suit held it while scanning the street behind them for any unwanted attention. The residents, however, knew better than to be too curious about such business.

Inside was a dirty kitchen, long abandoned as the restaurant it had served had ceased operating years ago. Now, a wiry man in his late fifties stood scrubbing his hands in front of the rusty sink. He wore a black apron with noticeable stains on it, and his thinning scalp and scraggly facial hair were heavy with gray. He looked up as they entered and quickly shook off his hands into the sink, wiping them further on a dully colored towel nearby. "Meine Dame" he greeted Masamune in a thick German accent with a slight bow. "I have the information you were requiring." He nodded his head to an old butchers block table in the center of the room.

Midori crossed over to it and lifted a handwritten document from the surface, paused momentarily to commit it to memory and then passed it to her mistress. While Masamune read the document dispassionately, Rupert's attention was drawn to the other items on the block which included a collection of dental tools, surgical instruments, and more than a few drops of blood and human teeth.

"This was in his own hand?" Akiko asked as she continued to scan the document.

"No, meine Dame..." the man responded. "He was exceptionally stubborn... a point of pride, I believe. By the time he was ready to confess, he was in no condition to write legibly. One of your men transcribed his words precisely, and then I helped him hold the pen as he signed it."

"And he is still alive?"

"As you ordered, meine Dame."

Akiko nodded. "Very well. Rupert?"

The appraiser's deep scowl returned as he reached out and took the sheet of paper from her with more than a hint of revulsion, then turned to examine it.

"With the lens, if you please" Masamune prompted him. "I want to know exactly what that is worth."

With a sigh, he reached into his breast pocket and removed the central item of his office, a jeweler's lens which he affixed to his eye. Squinting in concentration, he studied the document as Midori began speaking.

"The Franklin Street Mint started as gang of minor street toughs operating on Gothametropolis's South side until they came to the attention of the Lynchpin of crime, who ruled that city's thriving underworld." Midori explained efficiently. "Impressed by their resourcefulness and attitude, he arranged for them to play on a much grander scale through a series of unidentified medical procedures, granting them low-level superpowers. Rechristened the Mint, they became the Lynchpin's enforcers, collecting on the payouts, bribes and protection money owed to him by the nastier segments in his territory. However, they were not built for the big leagues, and made the mistake of leaning on a charity organization being promoted by Hatman. They were incarcerated in the Safe shortly afterwards."

"In 2006, Edward "Penny Ante" Reese was released on good behavior" she continued. "He has dutifully met the conditions of his parole, including cutting all contact with known criminal associates, and has received positive reviews from his parole officer, who is convinced that the young man is determined to turn his life around. He married in 2007, and is expecting a son in the fall." She shot a glance at Masamune as she relayed this information, but then proceeded. "The rest of the gang, however, does not seem to share Mr. Reese's change of heart. Reggie "Benjamins" Smithy, leader of the Mint, had most recently been confined in the maximum security solitary ward after a prison fight which left two other inmates dead. That incarceration ended, however, with the mass escape from the Safe two days ago by Mr. Smithy, the remaining incarcerated members of the Mint, and an as yet unknown number of other dangerous inmates."

Rupert only half listened to the woman's report. Some of that information could be seen in the document he was holding, thanks to the gifts of his cosmic office. The value of an object is most often determined by its history, after all. If not the exact details, at least a broad understanding of where the words on the page had come from was known to the appraiser. More sickeningly, he could sense how dearly Mr. Smithy had not wanted to part with them... and the price that he had paid for that reluctance.

"Reina Wallace, daughter of Samuel and Haruka Wallace, attended the Natsumi Academy for girls age 9 through 15 on Mangatown's north side, adjacent to the Parodiopolis University campus. She was last seen by her classmates at 4:15 pm on Tuesday, heading to a nearby restaurant frequented by the college populace. Her body was found by police at 1:43 a.m. the next morning in a dumpster five blocks from here."

Rupert swallowed the bile in his throat as he reviewed the rest of the story transcribed before him. They had followed the girl as she headed for home... It was the school uniform that made them single her out... Two Bit wouldn't cross the boundaries of Akiko's territory, but Benjamins and the others laughed and went on without him... Word had gotten around about the break-out at the meta-human prison, and that just made things easier... What should have been safe, bustling streets were like something out of a ghost-town as the populace sought safety indoors. The criminals knew they had the run of the whole city, and the Franklin Street Mint was just out looking for some "fun".

Akiko's men had been very adamant that Mr. Smithy go into exacting detail about what they had done.

Rupert pulled himself away from the confession with a shudder, drawing some deep breaths through his nose for several moments before he could speak. "It's authentic" he proclaimed, his eyes closed in pain as he removed the lens from his eye. He returned the document to Masamune. "Every word, and the signature is true."

Nodding, the crime lord handed it off to her assistant, who placed it in an old rusted saucepan and struck a match. "I'm satisfied that Mr. Smithy has met the requirements and may now find release. Leave him identifiable" Akiko informed the man in the dark suit who had let them into the kitchen. He bowed and left through the swinging double doors on the opposite side of the room. She looked to Midori, who was lit by the flaring remains of the confession. "What is the status on the rest of them?"

"We have acquired Silver Dollar, Bullion and Double-die" the assistant answered. "Buffalo Nickel's whereabouts are still undetermined. We have located Two-bit Jones, but have made no moves as of yet." She hesitated, then added "Penny Ante Reese and his wife live in a one bedroom in Shelton."

The crime lord paused only briefly. "All of them" she declared. "I want their remains found by the authorities and photos published in the papers within 48 hours. Something dramatic."

"What?" Rupert's face twisted in anger. "Hold on... The Reese boy and that Jones character had nothing to do with this!" he hissed at her. "I verified it for you!"

"A fifteen year old girl was found in a dumpster in Mangatown" the crime lord answered levelly. "My Mangatown. And you have confirmed that the Franklin Street Mint was solely responsible. Word of what happened and who was responsible has already begun to spread. A message must be sent."

"Not all of them are guilty of the crime!"

"A detail which only muddles the message" Akiko observed. "Anarchy may sweep Parodiopolis, but it stops at the edge of Magnatown. No one escapes retribution for such heinous acts here."

"I see what this is..." Rupert growled, jabbing a finger at her. "Half the underworld knows you had some kind of a deal with the Lair Legion. Now with them gone, maybe you're worried that you're not looking quite so secure in your throne! This has nothing to do with avenging what happened to that girl! You're nothing but a... a..." His words stumbled as her face darkened with anger. He could see the exact moment when his insults and his value in her eyes reached an equilibrium, and he pulled back just short of the words that would fatally tip the balance against him. Faltering, defeated, he looked away, polishing his jeweler's lens impotently on the front of his shirt. "I... I apologize. This business has been... trying for me."

If there was one thing Rupert Weissman knew with certainty, it was how much he valued his own life... and how much it cost him in pride.

A dangerous silence hung in the room for another moment before the crime lord proceded in her usual, detached tones. "Doctor, prepare for more subjects" Akiko ordered the German. "I want them properly chastised for their deeds, in ways that will be obvious to the authorities and the press" She paused and cast a glance towards Midori and Rupert. "Except for Mr. Reese and Mr. Jones. They may go quickly."

"Absolutely meine Dame."

"Midori, see to it that Mr. Reese's family has the means to care for his child. And let me know when this whole business is completed."

"Of course, ma'am."

The crime lord and her assistant paused at the doorway to the alley. "Oh, and Rupert... thank you for your assistance in this matter" she said with a half glance back over her shoulder. "I'll be sure to let you know when I next require the use of your particular... insight. The streets here are safe enough that I trust you can find your own way home..." she added as the door swung shut behind her. "After all, who would bother you? Everyone knows what you're worth to me."






Minor cosmic office holder Rupert Weissman serves as the Parodyverse's Appraiser, able to determine the value of everything he examines. He first appeared in "Untold Vignettes of the Transworld Challenge #4" where Visionary and the Caphan slave girls consulted him. (Available here: http://www.inishail.demon.co.uk/caph013.htm )








Post By
Visionary

Sun Jul 13, 2008 at
04:47:28 pm EDT
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