Tales of the Parodyverse

Post By

Visionary
Wed Jan 18, 2006 at 09:16:22 pm EST
Subject
The Ol' Hotfoot (A tie in to an Untold Tales #250 tie-in)
Originally
Adventures In Parodyverse: Consumed (Untold Tales #250 tie-in)

In Reply To

Anime Jason warns that HH pretty much asked for it
Wed Jan 18, 2006 at 04:52:58 pm EST

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"Did you know that Kerry was planning on running away to be a supervillain?" Yuki asked, suddenly appearing on the empty stool next to Visionary with catlike grace. The bell over the door to the Bean and Donut hadn't even rung when she entered.

Visionary hardly batted an eyebrow. "Does this seem right to you?" he asked the cybernetic woman petulantly. "Whole grain toast with sugar-free jam? And an orange juice? Can people live off of a breakfast like this?"

"Yes" Sarah informed him firmly as she refilled the coffee mug of a regular three stools over. "People can live an exceptionally long time off of it. Especially if the doctor's orders include no more crullers and coffee."

There was an audible crunch as Visionary bit into his toast with reluctance. "I bet you don't treat Karl this badly."

"Karl doesn't owe me some 20 years in back-birthday presents, which buys him a little extra sisterly consideration. Plus, you can always give him part of your liver... I don't think he can give you his arteries."

"Hello...?" Yuki said, waving her arm between the two of them. "Did you not hear what I just said? About Kerry thinking of running away to become a supervillain..?"

Visionary nodded and winced as he took another bite. "Thsorry" he offered with a fair amount of toast crumbs. He swallowed with effort. "I didn't realize this was a new situation."

"And to be honest, it's not like she really needs to run anywhere to be a supervillain." Sarah suggested. "Technically, I think she might just need to stop feeling bad after she blows things up."

"Assuming she does feel bad" Visionary muttered.

"In all honesty, it really was an unattractive tie" the waitress argued. "Where'd you manage to find one made out of synthetic enough fibers that even F.A. couldn't do anything with it?"

"That tie was real silk, dammit!"

"Al's forensic analysis suggested it was mostly petroleum byproducts, which is probably why it went up so quick." She noted the detective's impatience with a twinge of compassion. "Relax, Yuki... Kerry threatens to run off five or six times a week. More, if she's low on accelerants. What drew the most recent threats, Vizh?"

He pondered the question. "Hmmmm... Well, I pulled up to the curb outside of the Hogan Academy and offered her and some of her classmates a ride in the remodeled Pinto of Doom... Then she caught me singing along with the elevator version of "Muskrat Love" at the mall... and I may have mentioned something about buying her a three pack of new underwear in front of that Danny kid." He counted those up on his fingers. "So yeah... we were probably due."

Sarah made a pained face. "Seriously, Vizh... you had the tie incident coming. And there's a non elevator version of Muskrat Love?"

Yuki chewed her lip. "So... this kind of thing happens a lot? Even the packing?"

Visionary shrugged. "Say what you want, but new underwear packs easy." He glanced at the cybernetic P.I. "Why... what was this blow up about?"

"Her grades."

Visionary and Sarah just stared at her.

"No, really... she was upset about her grades..."

"... Kerry. About yea high... dark hair... slight Irish accent..." Visionary prodded.

"Yes! She was upset and was going to leave, so I... er..."

"Signed her on as an intern" Sarah finished.

"Yeah... how did you...?"

"I just signed off on the deal" Visionary explained. "I admit, I was kind of surprised to find you were even interested in the intern program..."

"Wait... there already was an intern pro--?"

"You did read those forms Hatty give you, right? About financial liability for undue property damage when escorting Juniors on official missions?"

The cyborg detective's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Excuse me please" she said politely as she quickly slipped out the door.

"Remind me to never question Hatman's tactical skills..." Visionary noted, crunching down again on his toast.

"Or compare him to Epitome" Sarah agreed.












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