Tales of the Parodyverse

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Hatman
Wed Jan 18, 2006 at 11:50:19 pm EST

Subject
Resolution Crisis War - Chapter Five
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        “What is truly ironic is that this man sought that goal before his, heh, transformation. And now, blithely ignorant to his former plans, he has played a significant part in accomplishing them.”


    Mr. Epitome winced as Flask crowed before them. He had no memory of doing what Hatman accused him of, but he could not deny there were shadier parts of his past he did not remember. And as he had not shared with anybody any agendas he may have had, nobody could have told him of it either.


    “How does it feel, Mr. Boaz? To know you succeeded where men like Zemo and the Hooded Hood have failed? You’ve brought about the destruction of the Lair Legion, Mr. Boaz. Congratulations.”


    The Lynchpin had directed his wrath almost exclusively on Hatman since they had been delivered to the true power behind Gothametropolis. Mr. Epitome couldn’t help but feel a little glad at that; his insides still felt like they were on fire after Hatman’s attack. He doubted he would fare well under interrogation at this point. He was healing, but the contraption he was trussed up in was not aiding the healing process.


    “But that’s not the best part. The best part is what happens afterwards when we brand the two of you. Then, Mr. Boaz, you’ll be working for me.”


    Mr. Epitome’s head jerked to attention. He was still working through his own thoughts on the SR 1066 proposal, but he was sure he did not wish to be a puppet of Flask’s. He tested his bonds again, but they held fast.


    “Fat lot of good that will do you,” snorted Hatman. “I won’t be much use to you as a zombie. My powers require a little more intelligence then you’re used to your pawns having.”


    Flask laughed. “It is not your powers I am interested in. Power, I have. With a senior member of the Lair Legion such as yourself endorsing SR 1066, we are assured victory.”



* * * * *


    “I still don’t understand why we’re doing this,” said Kat to her companion. She adjusted the sunglasses concealing her eyes.


    “Jay has spoken of this…Lunchpail, before,” replied Zdenka. The two women had asked around, and discovered that Hatman and Mr. Epitome had not been delivered to the police, but rather to Flask.


    Kat thought to herself that their version of asking around was Zdenka had transforming to her werewolf form and threatening to rip various gang members throats out if they didn’t tell her what she wanted to know. It was Kat’s first time on a superhero shakedown.


    “So what are we doing out here?” asked Kat.


    “We will not enter until we have gotten the…laying of land?” Zdenka struggled for the term she was looking for.


    “The lay of the land?” checked Kat.


    “Yes, that is it,” she confirmed. “This way we attract less suspicion, no?”


    “I dunno. I’m not sure how convincing my blind act is,” said Katarina Allan as her seeing eye dog led her on.

* * * * *


    “What do you know of victory, besides an absence of it?” challenged Hatman. “It wasn’t too long ago that I blew out your entire top floor, eh? And as I recall an associate of mine broke into your tower recently and completely manhandled you.” Hatman grinned a wide grin. “Seems to me you’re living in the losers column, Flask.”


    Flask twisted the Hatility Belt in his grip. “It is true, you have cost me, Mr. Boaz. But my pockets are indeed deep, and I can easily weather the inconveniences you have caused.”


    “So when we break out of here and the public finds out we were incarcerated in an improper facility without due process in the orderly and lawful city of Gothametropolis, you’ll weather that too?” checked the Capped Crusader.


    “The public is of the opinion I give them,” snarled Flask. He twisted the Belt within his meaty hands angrily.


    “Kind of hard to sway the public opinion when we put a big hole in your wall. Again,” smiled Hatman.


    Mr. Epitome didn’t know what Hatman hoped to gain by angering the Lynchpin, but despite his differences with the man he had learned that Hatman held the role of Tactical Advisor for a reason. “We’ll take requests if you were planning on remodeling anyway,” offered the Man of Might.


    “I think this room could use more light. Maybe a window on the east wall, Dominic?”


    “Be silent!” cursed the Lynchpin. He lashed out with the Hatility Belt and struck Hatman’s head. Hatman recoiled in pain, and Flask smiled.


    Hatman raised his head and met Flask’s gaze. He smirked back.
    It was then that Flask noticed the cap that was now on Hatman’s head.


    “Definitely the east wall,” agreed Mr. Epitome.


    Hatman concentrated, and used the blasting cap on his head to blow out the east wall of the room. “We don’t need to get free, Flask. We just need to be found.”


    “And then you can explain why the two metahumans so publicly captured aren’t in a holding cell downtown,” agreed Dominic.


    Flask managed to feign a sympathetic, hurt expression. “I suppose you have foiled me yet again, Hatman. All that I can do then is kill you and claim you escaped custody and attempted to kill me. My bodyguard was forced to slay you in self-defense.”


    “I heard Gamona had joined up with the Zoot Suit Gang,” challenged the Capped Crusader.


    “For now,” agreed Flask. “Meet the temp.”


    And a familiar figure stepped out of the shadows.



To be continued by killer shrike!




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