Tales of the Parodyverse

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Anime Jason
Thu Apr 13, 2006 at 01:26:07 am EDT

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Adventures In Parodyverse: Falling Star Part 4 (UT#268+ tie-in)
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Adventures In Parodyverse - Falling Star Part 3 (UT#268 tie-in)

Note: This edition is a collection of scenes happening in between UT#266 scenes or between #265 and #268. I try to stay up to date but no promises.


    "Jay, you wanted to see me?" Yuki stood in the doorway of what used to be the Lair Legion office of Sir Mumphrey Wilton. Being observant she noticed that Jay hadn't changed a single thing in the office - it was as if he was still waiting for Mumph's inevitable return.
    
    "Yeah," he replied quickly, setting aside the paperwork he was working on. "Come in, have a seat."
    
    Yuki obediently entered the room and sat at the desk across from Jay. "Has ManMan been making complaints? Because my methods will work, I promise."
    
    "No, I haven't heard from him." Jay shook his head, and then sighed. "I...need an ear. An unbiased ear."
    
    "Unbiased?" Not being one to miss details, Yuki raised an eyebrow at the phrasing.

    "I...thought about talking to Liu Xi," Jay admitted quietly, "because she listens well. But I'm afraid she'd just agree with me because...you know...she likes me."
    
    "And you don't think I like you?" Yuki joked with a smile.
    
    "You know what I mean." Jay tried to be serious, but ended up smiling too, and trying not to laugh. "Look, I want someone with a clear head to tell me...am I doing the right thing?"
    
    Yuki turned serious now too. She looked at Jay steadily for a moment, eyes narrowed. "So you asked...how many people already?"
    
    "No one, actually," Jay replied quickly. "Okay, I did ask Liu Xi. But she was reading on the couch over there--"
    
    Following Jay's narrative, Yuki glanced over at the couch and imagined Liu Xi lounging there, running her fingers through her long black hair and reading a book while halfway listening to Jay speak.
        
    "--and she told me I was doing the right thing," Jay continued, "But I'm not sure if she was really thinking about it."
    
    "I've never known you to be so...unsure," Yuki told him.
    
    Jay frowned and slouched in his chair. "The stakes have never been higher," he said. "Any decision I make at any step can doom everyone. I'm not perfect. I can screw up."
    
    "So why ask me, instead of CSFB or even Mr. Epitome? I'm sure Dominic would be brutally honest with you."
    
    Jay shrugged. "Because he's more of an 'I told you so' type. He waits until bad things happen before he says something. I...haven't known you as long...but as long as I've known you, you always call 'em like you see 'em."
    
    Yuki nodded in agreement. "I think you're doing the right thing...so far."
    
    "I can accept that." Jay nodded in return.
    
    "But if you do screw up you can expect me to get in your face, Jay, because you asked for it."
    
    He couldn't help but smile slightly at that.
    
    "You know, if I'm not available," Yuki continued, "Liu Xi is a smart girl. Just because she's reading while you talk doesn't mean she isn't paying attention. She's honest about her opinions too, sometimes even more honest than I am."
    
    "Really?" Jay asked.
    
    Yuki nodded again. "I talk to her a lot when I need someone to talk to. I'm honest because I usually don't care what people think of me. She's honest because she demands the same from her friends."

    "So...you're saying I should talk to her to let her know she has friends?"
    
    "You're catching on." Yuki smiled and rose from the chair. "Now if you'll excuse me I have to catch ManMan cheating on his diet."
    
    Jay laughed and watched Yuki head out of the office. "Thanks, Yuki," he said.


---


    "Naari is alive?" Lara Night asked, trying to keep her voice down. Visionary had gone from feeling sorry for himself to being nearly manic, and spent a lot of time wandering into unexpected places at random. She didn't want him to overhear. She waited until Al B Harper left the Lair Mansion dining room to speak.
    
    Cleone Swanmay nodded. She seemed to be only partially listening though - she stared at Lara as if examining some complex crystal. "Your eyes," she whispered, referring to Lara's nearly clear glasslike irises.
    
    "Huh? Oh." Lara smiled. "They've always been that way. Don't worry about it."
    
    "And your...aura, I suppose it's called," Cleone continued staring. "It's endless."
    
    "She is some kind of elemental," Liu Xi explained calmly in her accented speech as she began eating a popsicle. She happened along the conversation on the way back from the kitchen.
    
    "You can feel everything in the universe." Cleone marvelled at that thought. "Your spirit is tied to the fabric beneath everything."

    "Fabric beneath everything? Are you calling her a tablecloth?" a loud voice asked from Liu Xi's belt.
    
    Lara looked down. "What is that?"
    
    "Knifey," Liu Xi replied. "Yuki is making ManMan do push-ups. Knifey thought that was boring."
    
    "Not to mention disgusting," Knifey added. "He sweats like a pig. And his sweat smells like lunch meat."
    
    Cleone decided to bring the conversation back on topic. "No, not a tablecloth. Like a boat on a vast ocean, one that can see every wave."
    
    "Oh." Lara shrugged. "I guess I could if I concentrated. I'd rather not, though, because there's a lot of suffering out there and I don't want to be depressed all the time."
    
    "She is disturbed by large occurances," Liu Xi interrupted. The others noticed that her popsicle never seemed to melt and drip everywhere. One of the smaller benefits of being an elementalist.
    
    "Yes, that's true." Lara nodded. "Like the Parody Master. He's causing a lot of suffering. And Naari...because I...sort of 'listen' to people I know, and I can tell when they're upset." Accidentally reminding herself of the original topic, she quickly asked, "Naari! Yes...where is she?"
    
    "She has been taken to Faerie." Cleone answered truthfully. "By Camellia of the Fey."
    
    Lara saddened, her whole body slouching a bit at the news. "That's terrible. What are the guys doing about it?"
    
    It was Cleone's turn to frown this time. "Their best, I'm afraid. I hope it turns out well for them."
    
    "Tell them I could help if they want," Lara quickly offered. "I mean, as much help as I could offer. I don't really know what I could do, but it's the offer that counts, right?"
    
    "You're needed here," Liu Xi told her quickly.
    
    "Liu Xi, you can handle things--" Lara began, but was quickly interrupted by the Chinese elementalist.
    
    "I've been watching things," Liu Xi went on, ignoring Lara's last statement. "Manga Shoggoth has taught me something important...how to see patterns. Very large patterns."
    
    Lara decided to stop motioning for Liu Xi to let her speak when she started to guess where this was headed.
    
    "These are all distractions," Liu Xi continued. "Carefully designed ones. To place us all out of communication with each other...to seperate us."
    
    "But I already don't know where anyone is," Lara pointed out.
    
    "You can sense them, yes?" Lara asked.
    
    Cleone looked at Liu Xi, and then joined her in waiting for Lara's answer.
    
    "I...guess. If they get into trouble, maybe." Lara shrugged and looked down.
    
    "We are the last stand," Liu Xi added. She took the sentient knife off of her belt. "You believe me, don't you?"
    
    "You bet," Knifey replied. "Now how about bringing me back to fatso before Yuki gives him a heart attack?"

    Liu Xi smiled and nodded at Lara and Cleone before leaving the dining room.
    
    "She has a point." Lara sighed. "I'd still like to help but...I'd probably get in the way unless they really need help."
    
    "I will pass that along." Cleone nodded and left the room as well.
    
    Alone in the large dining room, Lara looked up at the chandelier and sighed. "This place is so complicated," she whispered to herself. But then she shrugged and came to a sudden conclusion. "I guess that's why I'm here."


---


    "Come with me, you big chicken." Liu Xi grabbed Al B Harper by his shirt and starting towing him toward the gym.
    
    "Wha...huh...?" He stumbled, trying to resist Liu Xi passively but not enough to hurt her. "We're going to fight?"
    
    "No, silly." Liu Xi laughed. "You have been avoiding Yuki since you gave her that metal flower, and she has been too busy to confront you. I'm tired of waiting patiently."
    
    Before Al B had a chance to protest again, Liu Xi opened the door to the gym and shoved him in. She followed to make sure he didn't escape...or so he thought, until he realized she was just returning Knifey to a sweating and wheezing ManMan.
    
    Yuki approached Al B and stood directly in front of him. It was an amusing sight since Yuki was smaller than Al B, but looked a hundred times more intimidating.
    
    "Are you going to hurt me this time?" Al B Harper asked, only half joking.

    "No." Yuki replied tersely, but calmer than Al B would have expected. "You were dishonest with me."
    
    "Dishonest?" Al B asked. "I mean...I was pretty sure we didn't make any kind of promises to each other, did we? I would have remembered that kind of thing."
    
    Yuki frowned at that point. "Yeah, well maybe I thought I was a little more than just a high-tech toy--" The words sounded angry, but the heartbreak behind them was clearly evident. "--that you'd get bored with a few days after Christmas and toss in the closet."
    
    Al B wisely refrained from commenting on that.
    
    "But you know," she continued, "I don't remember you ever saying you love me. So maybe...I have only myself to blame for getting too attached."
    
    "Aww, don't say that." Al B looked at her sadly. "I do care about you, Yuki. I just...thought we agreed to keep things casual."
    
    "Yeah. We did." Yuki slid onto a bench next to the door. She ignored when ManMan and Liu Xi shuffled out of the gym. "But this kind of thing...it's not like a contract, or a computer program that does what you tell it. It's unpredictable. Al, I never expected to be so heartbroken when you brought home someone who's...so hot, I can understand why you--"
    
    "She just sort of claimed me, Yuki," Al B told her with a laugh. "I...never chose her."
    
    "So why is she still here?" Yuki asked almost a little too angrily.
    
    "Because the sex is amazing," Al B blurted out his awkward answer and left Yuki looking saddened and stunned. "I mean...because Kinki is all alone here. Where else is she going to go? With her kind of attitude she won't find many friends here."
    
    Yuki looked up and gave him a slight smile. "Still get your heart broken by hard-luck cases, eh?"
    
    Al B Harper shrugged and looked down sadly. "I'm sorry I failed you, Yuki. I'm torn in so many directions right now."
    
    The purple-haired Legionnaire stood and hugged Al B Harper. "Look, I don't hate you, okay?"
    
    He looked up and embraced her as well.
    
    "I talked to Lara. She doesn't look smart but she actually knows a lot about continuity of time." Yuki sighed deeply and tried to blink away the emotion in her eyes to speak logically. "Seems you have to knock up Kinki or your son Cody may just disappear one day without warning because he never was. Or something like that."
    
    "Lara said that?" he asked. He was a little surprised at the mysterious blonde's perceptiveness.
    
    "I dunno, maybe you may have already concieved him." Yuki noted dismissively. "That's just my way of saying...I don't want to suffocate you, Al, and heaven knows while Kinki has the chest for it I sure don't. I think we're always going to be friends. I don't want to lose you entirely because of this."
    
    "What are you saying?" Al B asked.
    
    "I'm saying if you love someone, set them free," Yuki replied sadly. "Go and have your...fun, or whatever," she continued. "I'll always be here."
    
    "In the gym?"
    
    Yuki couldn't help but laugh at that question, in spite of all the other conflicting emotions she had. She shook her head and whispered, "I missed hearing questions like that," she said. She kissed Al B Harper on the cheek and looked back at him as she headed out of the gym.
    
    On the way out she couldn't help but think to herself that while she found it endearing and amusing, there's no way Kinki would put up with questions like that for long.


TO BE CONTINUED?


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2006 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
-- Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
-- Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin




To the Spirit of the Night, I surrender...


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