Tales of the Parodyverse

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Anime Jason makes a blatant play for ratings this time
Sat Jun 24, 2006 at 12:03:53 pm EDT

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Adventures In Parodyverse: The Awakening Part 3 (UT#274-275 tie-in and Chad & Ronnie Special!)
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Note: I wrote this in just two days, so I hope it works out well. Apologies to L!, hope he likes the Ronnie part

Links:
Part 1
Part 2


Adventures In Parodyverse - The Awakening Part 3 (UT#274-275 tie-in and Chad & Ronnie Special!)


    "One condition." Liu Xi spoke in a hushed voice as she entered Xander's shop.
    
    There was something different about her as she entered. It seemed as if a chill followed her as she moved through the shop. Even so, Xander didn't seem the least bit impressed.
    
    "Condition?" Xander asked absent-mindedly, mostly out of curiosity. He didn't look up from a book he was reading as he sat in the back room of the shop.
    
    "I spoke to Lara," Liu Xi explained, "The condition is...you will ask me before doing anything, and you will explain before you do it."
    
    Xander looked up calmly. "I don't know if I can do that," he admitted.
    
    "Why not?" Liu Xi asked, sounding an odd mixture of patience and anger.
    
    "Well, you've seen one of my plans in action," Xander explained. "Would you have followed it so well if you'd known...everything?"
    
    Liu Xi pondered that question for a moment before responding. "I suppose not," she whispered. "But there has to be somewhere in between. Where you can be more honest and trust me to understand. That's the condition...you have to earn your trust back by trusting me."
    
    "As I said--"
    
    "Dammit," Liu Xi cursed, trying her best not to mutter a few Chinese curses under her breath. "Then I will learn from you when you learn something from me...trust. You cannot expect others to trust you if you have no trust to give."
    
    "You're very intelligent, Liu Xi," Xander told her, closing the book he was reading.
    
    "Quiet," Liu Xi warned him. "I came here to say what I wish."
    
    Xander raised an eyebrow, but remained patient and silent.
    
    "I want to learn," Liu Xi continued more quietly. "But I will not until I can trust you. Everything you tell me, I will think about and not really want to absorb. Do you understand?"
    
    "I think I do." Xander nodded. "The problem is you don't feel you can learn from me until I'm more honest with you."
    
    Liu Xi nodded once, deeply. "Yes," she whispered, brightening up at the thought that she was understood.
    
    Xander handed Liu Xi the book he had been reading when she came in. It was an ancient, dusty book with yellowed brittle pages, only barely still bound. "Read this, please," he said. "You may find it a bit technical, but it can be useful sometime. I'm sure you can trust me enough to read a book, and I'm sure I can trust you to return it."
    
    A smile finally came to Liu Xi, and she nodded again as she gently took the book from Xander. "I will visit you again later," she said. She turned and left the shop quietly, book tucked gently under her arm.


---


    Xander the Improbable looked up as Cleone and Lara Night entered his shop. He looked up to note their presence, but wasn't the least bit surprised. He did make an attempt to be polite, however. "Tea?" he asked, even though he had three cups total on the table, expecting them to accept.
    
    "Sure." Lara shrugged. She noted the three cups, but didn't bother to say anything about it. She waited until Xander poured her a cup and handed it to her.
    
    "Be careful with that," Xander noted, as he poured a cup for Cleone too, "That china is actually from China. About a thousand years ago."
    
    "Oh." Lara put the teacup down after sipping a little tea, and then she leaned against the counter in the back room, her head turning slowly to look at the clutter of thousands of items crammed into a tiny room. "So...why was I brought here?"
    
    "Liu Xi was here," Xander explained. He chuckled as he added, "sweet girl, that one...she was trying to dictate terms for her lessons."
    
    "She's very...independent," Lara told him. "I encourage that."
    
    "Very good." Xander nodded. "She's self motivated. That's good, because hardly ever will someone hold her hand and tell her what to do."
    
    Lara smirked as she folded her arms and gave Xander an amused look. "Are you trying to tell me you want to teach her?"
    
    He simply raised an eyebrow and sipped some more tea calmly. "Liu Xi has potential," he said. "It'd be a shame to see it go to waste."
    
    She rolled her eyes, trying her best not to laugh. "You and your cryptic replies." Lara then turned her attention to Cleone and added, "I guess you two have a lot of catching up to do now that you're here."
    
    "That can wait until later," Cleone replied. She looked at Xander, who nodded in agreement, before speaking to Lara again. "We have one more place to visit."


---


    Jay Boaz looked bleary-eyed at the pile of work sitting on his desk in front of him. It was the less glorious part of his role as the leader of the Lair Legion, yet one which was just as necessary. Sir Mumphrey spent a lot of time in that office, and was more accustomed to such work. But for someone like Jay, who liked being in the field, it was exhaustingly boring.
    
    He leaned back and rubbed his eyes, and then ran his fingers through his own hair as he sighed. When he opened his eyes again, he could see the door to his office open, and Liu Xi entered.
    
    "Good evening," she whispered to him with a smile and a slight bow. "Good to see you again."
    
    "Liu Xi," Jay said, sounding as if he had just been awakened from a deep sleep. "Good to see you again too."
    
    As it turned out, Liu Xi had a surprise for him - a cup of her special cocoa. Without speaking a word, she placed the cup in front of him and lightly massaged his shoulders. At first he quietly enjoyed it, since his neck was indeed stiff after sitting there so long. But eventually he leaned away from her to attempt a protest.
    
    "Thanks," he said, "But I can't take from you and--"
    
    "Oh, stop it," Liu Xi scolded him as she gently placed her hand on top of his head and eased him back into the chair. She smiled as she added, "I don't expect anything in return, Jay. I think of myself as your friend."
    
    He turned around to look at her even as she resumed the gentle shoulder massage. "I just feel a little guilty," he finally admitted.

    "Well don't." Liu Xi laughed slightly as she tried to end the topic with that. "Can you tell me none of your friends offer you a drink or a shoulder massage?"
    
    "I'm sure Dream might have offered one once, but I turned it down. Most of my friends are guys." He slumped in his chair, finally giving in at the compromise of Liu Xi doing nothing more than rubbing the tops of his shoulders. "To be honest, though, I really don't want you to get the wrong idea about me--"
    
    "You think this is an effort to become closer to you?" she asked suspiciously, stopping the massage for a moment.
    
    Jay turned around, warily looking her direction and bracing for a possible angry response. "I thought it might be a possibility, yes."
    
    "No." Liu Xi shook his head. "I know Zdenka is in your heart." She gestured toward his desk. "You keep a picture of her on your desk, and you look at her and sigh."
    
    "You notice that?" he asked.
    
    Liu Xi nodded. "I also notice that this job has made you...unhappy."
    
    He turned around abruptly, looking surprised to hear that. "Unhappy? No...maybe a little overwhelmed."
    
    "Don't you have an assistant now?" she asked.
    
    Jay nodded. "Yes," he replied, a slight edge of annoyance in his voice.
    
    Liu Xi detected that and frowned. "Is she not doing her job?"
    
    "She's doing very well," Jay quickly defended his choice of assistant. "It's just that she's...I don't know if I can even explain it. It's difficult being a guy around her, especially when she works most of the time in kind of...form fitting outfits."
    
    "I think I understand," Liu Xi replied with a slight laugh. "She is young, and finds confidence in gaining the attention of men around her. You can't be...unguarded around her."

    "Something like that, yes," Jay agreed.
    
    "You need to get away from this office for a little while," Liu Xi suggested. "The pressure of the Parody Master attack is affecting you badly, and I'm worried about you. Tell me anywhere, and I will take you."
    
    "Like a date?" Jay asked, sounding nervous and a little suspicious.
    
    "Just to hang out," Liu Xi replied casually. "Have you eaten yet?"
    
    "I guess we could grab something for dinner." Jay shrugged. "Talk about what you've been up to while you were gone."
    
    "It's a deal." Liu Xi nodded. "Let's go."
    
    "Now?" he asked.
    
    She nodded. "That is the point of 'getting away'."
    
    Jay looked down at the pile of unfinished work still sitting on his desk, and hated facing it again. That made up his mind for him. "Okay, sure, let's go. Ever been bowling?"
    
    "Bowling?" Liu Xi shook her head. "Not really."
    
    "Then I'll try Chinese food for dinner if you try bowling after?"
    
    "Sure." Liu Xi nodded, and waited for Jay to lead the way.


---


    Lara and Cleone walked along a street in Paradopolis chatting - Lara finally wearing her costume in preparation for her return to the Lair Mansion, and Cleone wearing her usual white robes - when they both suddenly realized that they'd never been to that part of town before. It was a rather nice, quiet block of mostly apartment buildings, and a few renovated into private homes. They both had to pause and simply listen, noting that the Parody Master conflict seemed miles away in that untouched neighborhood.
    
    "Hello!" a man dressed in bright yellow and red fabric that seemed to glow under the streetlights, greeted them happily. He looked at Lara and asked, "Are you a real super-hero?"
    
    Lara looked at Cleone, then back at the man, and nodded silently.
    
    "Cool! I'm Ronnie." He exclaimed excitedly. "Who are you?"
    
    "My name is Lara Night," Lara told him.
    
    "But what's your real name?" the man asked.
    
    "That is my real name," Lara replied with a slight smile.
    
    Ronnie looked dejected for a moment. "It's okay, you don't want to tell me. You have the whole secret identity thing."
    
    Lara sighed, noting that this Ronnie didn't seem to understand. "No, Lara Night is my real name. I don't have an--"
    
    "So you only come out a night?" Ronnie asked, looking up at the lit streetlight above his head. "That explains part of the name. But what does 'Lara' mean?"
    
    "I told you--" Lara began, sounding a little frustrated.
    
    "Hey, can I take a picture with you?" Ronnie interrupted excitedly. "Me, you, Little Cat, and..." He squinted at Cleone. "Who are you? You look like a really tall swan."
    
    "Yes," Cleone replied. "I get that sometimes."
    
    "Yeah, okay, you can take a picture," Lara agreed. She clustered next to Ronnie, who now had a small rodent sitting on his shoulder munching on a jellybean. Cleone stood on the other side of him. The four of them just stood there under the street light for a minute or so, but something was missing.
    
    "Where's your camera?" Lara finally asked.
    
    Ronnie stared at her, confused. "I thought you had one. That's what the 'Lara' part means, right?"
    
    "No, that's my name...oh, never mind." Lara shook her head and stepped away from Ronnie. "Look, the big swan and I have to go somewhere. Stay safe out here, okay?" She turned and started to walk away.
    
    "Wait!" Ronnie called after her. "I need a super-hero's help!"
    
    Lara turned around and faced him again. "What's wrong?" she asked, unsure if she'd regret asking.
    
    "Well, I know you only have until daybreak--" Ronnie began.
    
    She clenched her teeth gently but didn't speak a word this time.
    
    "--but I'm trying to get my friend Chad out of jail. He's been arrested for murder. He didn't do it."
    
    "Oh, well you don't need me," Lara reassured him, "You just need a good lawyer or detective. Or both. Fortunately I happened to know both, maybe I can send one here."
    
    "Can't you just smash a car through the police station, shoot everyone, and break Chad out of jail?" Ronnie asked.
    
    "No, I don't do that," Lara explained. "That's the Terminator."
    
    "Does he only go out at night too?"
    
    By this time, Lara had given up being irritated and tried hard to stifle a laugh instead. "Ronnie, look up a detective named Shiro, she's in the phone book."
    
    Ronnie turned pale at that. "I don't have a phone book," he said. "See, someone left this heavy bag on my doorstep and Chad was afraid someone was trying to send us a bomb. So he blew it up."
    
    "I'm sure one of the local shops here will let you look in their phone book--" Lara began.
    
    Ronnie hung his head. "I've been banned from all the local shops."
    
    "Directory assistance?" Lara asked. "411? Try that maybe?"
    
    "I don't have a phone," Ronnie finally admitted.
    
    Lara clenched her teeth gently and took a deep, calming breath. "Okay, I'll send Yuki here, then. She'll be the only woman with real purple hair and a leather jacket on your block. Easy to spot."
    
    "Okay." Ronnie sat down on the curb under the streelight and fed Little Cat another jellybean. "I'll wait right here."

    She began walking away again, but paused as she thought the better of it. That poor soul might actually sit there and wait as long as it takes, and he could be mugged or killed while doing so. "Do me a favor," she told him as she paused a moment, "Wait at home, would you?" She thought for a moment and added something she thought was a pretty intelligent hook. "Little Cat might be more comfortable there."
    
    "Okay." Ronnie stood again and began walking toward his apartment building. "Good luck," he said, "And don't worry, I won't tell anyone your real name."
    
    Lara squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, then shook her head, and finally walked away, headed back to the Lair Mansion.


TO BE CONTINUED?


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2006 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
-- Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
-- Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin




To the Spirit of the Night, I surrender...


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