Heart of Darkness chapter ten, I believe... "Identity"

Previously:

Wow… okay, let me think… Vizh is dying from an infection of rather nasty elder magics around his heart… an infection which, rumor has it, is “A shard of pure elder evil, gradually suffusing his body to transform it into the new vessel for Nyarlurkhotep, the Crawling Chaos, the Herald of the Fairly Great Old Ones.” At least, that’s what Urthula’s Uncle, the Necromancer General says. Urthula, by the way, is a centuries old ghoul girl who thinks she’s dating Vizh, while he thinks she’s there to cure him. She’s being pursued by a would-be flame, the Abyssal Luminosis of the Ghouls under Chernobyl. On top of that, renowned monster hunter Desmond Djinn has been tipped off that something fairly major has shown up at the Willow Nightclub, the front for Camellia of the Fey’s criminal operations in Parodiopolis. Not coincidentally, this is where Urthula has taken a clueless Vizh for a night on the town…

Don’t worry, though… Yo and Chiaki are filling the role of the cavalry tonight.

Really, there’s tons more going on as well… like Miiri’s pregnancy, and a whole bunch of stuff with Kerry… but this summary blurb is getting ridiculously long as it is.

“This blows” Trudi Wooster observed shrewdly as she stood in line outside the trendy Willow nightclub. “We’ve been waiting forever to get on with this night. Did you tell the doorman that we’re rich?”

“I did” Jenni Wooster answered. “I even told him you were easy. I get the feeling that neither of those traits is in short supply among this crowd.”

Trudi scowled and looked at the throng of high fashioned prettiness that was pressed between the velvet ropes and the side of the warehouse club under the Englehart Bridge. “I don’t know why this place is supposed to be so hot anyway… It’s been operating for ages. It’s so last decade. Last last decade, even.”

“Which is what’s hot again” Jenni reminded her sister. “And besides, Michael warned us off ever coming here, in no small terms, based on his double-secret inside super-information. So you know it’s got to be good in there.” The socialite’s eyes widened in surprise as she spotted a figure making its way past the line. “Oh my freaking god… Is that Urthula?”

Trudi craned her neck to see. “Looks like… I thought she was still in Prague with the Akhmetov brothers, slumming off their daddy’s trust fund. Hmmph…” she snorted derisively, “didn’t anyone tell her ‘Heroin Chic’ is out? Well, we know she it wasn’t excessive amounts of caviar she was swallowing at night.”

“Still stung about the time she stole Reginald Pierce III out from under you in Milan?”

“He wasn’t under me. Yet.” Trudi observed darkly. “Who’s that she’s with? He looks familiar…”

“He does, doesn’t he? …Hey… Isn’t he one of the Legion people we met at Christmas?”

“No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no…!” Trudi growled darkly. “She is so not making inroads into the hero circles before us!”

“It is! It’s that one with all the fetishist green-painted women following him around!”

“Ew. She can have him.” The young woman stopped to ponder it some. “Although, if Urthula’s into him, then he must be somebody important…”

“What was it Hatman called him again… Vaseline? Vulcanized…?” she bit her lip in thought. “Whoever he is, it seems you’re likely right… The bouncer can’t get the rope out of their way quickly enough.”

“What?!” Trudi objected. “They’re letting that boney, outdated, trashy little slut inside with her pervy nothing of a super-hero boytoy?! I mean, who would want to be associated with…”

“Visionary!” Jenni said triumphantly as she finally recalled his name. Both the man in question and the bouncer turned their heads at the exclamation to look directly at the Wooster twins.

“We’re with them!” Trudi yelled quickly.

“What’s the status?” Desmond Djinn asked, climbing into the back of the surveillance truck. He adjusted the trenchcoat that concealed his working clothes and took a seat at the computer console.

“The Camellia woman is en route…” the one technician noted, checking the clock on the wall with it’s revolving seconds hand. “ETA in about 10 minutes, if she sticks to her usual schedule.”

“Understood. And that’s no woman” the monster hunter growled.

“Right… sorry sir” the smaller man quickly responded. “We’ve synched up the energy surge data with the video playback… Here’s what we got.”

He thumbed the button on a remote. On one screen was a waveform image, oscillating at a normal (for this location) background range. With the approach of a cab, the wave grew more and more agitated, until it lost all semblance of shape when the occupants of the car came into view. The wave continued to be a nonsensical jumble until the couple, joined by two other women from the line, entered the club and made the slight shift from current plane of reality for the confines of the interior. However, even then it settled back into a baseline with considerably more amplitude than before.

Djinn turned a knob, rewinding the playback and zoomed in on the couple in question. “Interesting” he noted calmly. “And not what I would have expected.” He turned back to the technician. “And the creature… we’re confident it’s still in there?”

The man nodded vigorously. “Yes sir. Quite confident.”

The world renowned hunter rubbed his chin and stared at the video monitor a few moments more. “We move up the timetable” he finally stated. “Tonight. We bury the bitch and her house tonight.”

“I can read this!” Miiri gasped in surprise, turning the ancient page of the book back and forth in amazement. She had only recently learned to read, after all, and most books in the Shoggoth’s collection were beyond the ken of all but the most devoted student of dead languages. Or at least all but the most insane.

“Hmmm?” Ebony asked, looking up from her own tome. The two women were currently in the library of the Shoggoth’s Antarctic home desperately trying to research the cause of the malady eating away at Visionary’s heart. “Ah… that. Yes, it desperately wants to be read. It panders more than a Danielle Steel novel.”

“What is it?” the former slave girl asked, still enthralled by coming across something so legible. She had been noticeably down about being sidelined during the current crisis as a result of her pregnancy… So much so that Ebony had finally relented to her requests to come along on this research expedition, at least.

“It’s the diary of the madman Al Alazza Bin Alsaad, written some 1500 years ago. It claims that it prophesizes the future, but after you read it a few times you notice that Bin Alsaad had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, and even less of an idea of how to write a compelling yarn… even with plagues of frogs and wild demonic orgies springing up every couple of pages. Still, he must have really been able to see the future because he somehow plagiarized a large chunk in the middle, where it becomes five chapters of “Little Women” just to fill up space.”

“So the information here is wrong?”

“At first” Ebony noted, returning to scan her own tome. “But the book has a bit of a fragile ego, so once the events happen, it tends to edit itself to make it seem like it was right all along. The prophesized date for the end of the world has been updated at least 47 times since I first read it… Say what you want about it, it’s both persistent and optimistic about guessing.”

“And yet you still keep the book locked away in… whatever this room is?”

“Your standard vault with time locks that work through 18 dimensions. It’s a devil to open again even when you know the combination… my best time is just under 5 hours. But you should see the one where the Shoggoth keeps original Anime cels.” She closed her current book with a sigh and went to the next in the research pile. “Go ahead and look through that one… there’s always a chance it might know what’s going on if it’s already happened. Just know that it’ll try to convince you to forsake all that you love and open a portal that will rain unspeakable madness into your soul while your body is prepared to mate obscenely with crawling, squirming horrors from beyond. Frankly, the sales pitch could use some sweetening.”

“The Shoggoth… does not take chances where the return of the old ones is concerned, does he?” the former slave girl asked softly.

“You know the fervor with which he fulfills his responsibilities? Opposing them is his singled greatest one.”

“So he would not let anything stand between him and ending that threat.”

Warning bells went off in the priestess’s mind. She looked up to find the green hued woman standing just outside the vault doorway grasping the diary. “Miiri…?”

“I’m sorry Mistress Ebony…” Miiri stated in abject apology as she swung the heavy door closed, “Please don’t set any new speed records.”

“You there!” Abyssal Luminosus demanded of the aged man-child who was helping a petite brunette into the passenger side of a Humvee. The lights from the nightclub across the street shone in multicolored hues off the door panels. “Hold, breather... I have need of you.”

The short man turned with reluctance and more than a bit of annoyance. “Look… buddy… I’m out with my fiancé… I don’t give interviews on the street. You want an autograph instead?”

“Your babbling offends me. I wish to gain entrance to this throbbing structure, foothold of the Fey in this garish land. Remove your pants so that I may get into them.”

“Whoa… wait… Are you coming on to me? Is that what this is?” He shook his head. “Cause that’s, like, way over the line for fan behavior.”

“Honey?” the tiny woman half his age called from the rolled down window. “Maybe we should be getting back to the hotel…”

“Bah! Enough!” Luminosus growled. “The cursed Fey have placed wards upon their domain, and their doorman says that even ‘Colin Farrell’ could not gain entrance with trousers such as these…” he gestured to his tattered and mildewed clothing, “… and that was before “Alexander” came out.” His undead face contorted into a contemplative frown. “I do not know what any of this means, but I, Luminosis, demand to be in your pants.”

“Um… Hello? Fiancé? Didn’t you see the interviews? I’m so not gay.”

“Honey? Just let it go and come on…” the female mewled.

“No… No… I’m sick of this… Look, look… I’ve had to put up with those rumors…” He adopted a fighting stance. “You just back off, man... Alright? I know martial arts, okay? I’ve got a black belt.”

“Is it nice?” Luminosus asked. “I shall require it as well.”

“And what, are you glowing? Is this supposed to be some kind of practical joke? Is there a hidden camera somewhere? A watergun? Because I don’t believe in aliens… Look… Look…That’s a total misrepresentation of my beliefs...”

The ghoul sighed, reached out a hand and denting the little man’s skull with a flick of his fingers. The simpering girl-child in the car began to scream shrilly, so he punched down through the windshield into the dashboard, deploying the airbag which slammed into the girl, knocking her unconscious. He then proceeded to untuck the man’s silk shirt, being careful not to rip it unduly.

“Ooh… this belt is nice!”

“You’re pretty light on your feet there, Vizh” Urthula observed as Visionary spun her on the dance floor to the ABBA music blasting over the club’s loudspeakers.

“Am I still on my feet?” Visionary asked dizzily. He could hear the sound of his blood pumping in his head, which was which was doing an awful job of keeping the beat with “Fernando”. Still, apparently those weekly dance lessons from Dancer were paying off.

“Oh, hush… you’re doing fine” his waifish advisor assured him. “I told you a little vigorous exercise is just what somebody in your condition needs to loosen out the old joints. You’ll be right as rain by morning. Of course, if you play your cards right, I might even be able to come up with something more vigorous to try before then…”

Visionary fervently hoped it wasn’t a spinning class she had in mind, because it felt like there was already a good chance he might hurl a substantial number of his internal organs onto the young woman. Still, she was the expert… and she seemed to think that coming to the Willow and being seen was the surest way to finding a cure for him as possible. Of course, he was slightly concerned by the fact that the inhuman half of the occupants of this establishment would gladly carve up any Legionnaire that they could get their hands on… A concern which grew more prominent when his eyes managed to refocus on a very perturbed looking Camellia Le Fey making her way through the crowd towards them. Some underling was desperately trying to explain something to her as he pointed their way and gestured emphatically.

“Uh-oh…” Visionary managed, disengaging himself from his advisor and standing between her and the approaching fairy crime lord. “Maybe we should make for the back door… I don’t think I’m quite up to this. Ah… you don’t happen to see any fire exits, do you?”

“Nonsense” Urthula assured him, flashing her large teeth. “I’ll handle Cammy… We go way back. I mean, maybe not as far as you two do, but still…”

“Really?” the Legionnaire blinked in surprise. He tried to think how far back he went with the drug kingpin (Queenpin?). He then tried to figure out if it was more or less reassuring that Urthula didn’t even know her that well.

“Urthula” Camellia Le Fey greeted the slender occultist without any noticeable warmth in her voice. “How lovely to see you again. And I hear you’ve brought a distinguished guest…”

“Well, I wouldn’t say distinguished” Trudi Wooster cut in, siddling up on Urthula’s side with a drink in her hand. Jenni appeared to flank Vizh. “But our family is well known in the upper social circles.”

“Indeed” Camellia observed tightly. “And the philanthropic ones as well. The Wooster clan was quite generous in their support of various city projects. In fact, didn’t I just hear about a sizeable donation to the mayor’s anti-drug taskforce..?”

“Oh… yes, um… that.” Trudi agreed, obviously oblivious. “Well, I’m sure you know all the details about mum’s little hobbies…”

“Yes” the coldly beautiful woman agreed. “In fact, I’ve given that same Task Force quite a bit of money myself. I can’t tell you how delighted we are to host you and your sister… Consider all your drinks on the house tonight.”

“Ah… I don’t think that’s really a good…” Visionary began warily.

“And the strikingly familiar figure on your arm, Urthula dear? Would you care to introduce us?”

“Oh, come now Cammy…” the waifish woman responded. “Surely you need no introduction. After all, how many times have you told that story about you seducing Visionatus Improbablus over the last few hundred years?” Her dark eyes sparkled. “Surely Sydney’s assessment that it gave new meaning to the term ‘fairy tale’ wasn’t true, now was it?”

“I just can’t help but notice… Urthy, dear…” Camelia returned, ignoring the bait. “…That he happens to look remarkably like Lair Legion oaf and Masamune lap dog Visionary the feeble.” She snorted. “Only more dead… Which, I might add, is a good look for the man.”

“Isn’t it though?” Urthula responded hungrily, squeezing Visionary’s arm.

“Um… that ‘feeble’ thing isn’t really any kind of official Mythlands title, is it?” Visionary asked, trying to decipher at least part of this conversation.

“You’ve gained false entrance to my house claiming most-honored guest status” Camellia accused with cold fury. “That’s an abuse that I won’t tolerate, no matter who your uncle is.”

“You don’t think he counts?” Urthula growled. “Fairy hospitality is slipping.”

“Fine” the Fey woman answered coldly. “We’ll find out just who we’re dealing with. Bring the Sorting Hat!” she demanded of her flunky.

“The what now?” Visionary asked weakly.

“And if I find you’ve abused ancient law and brought my enemy into my house, there won’t be enough pieces left of any of you for your mad uncle to stitch together into so much as a paperweight!”

“But…” Trudi asked, confused, “the drinks are still free, right?”

Yo looked over the entrance to the Willow Nightclub from the relative concealment of the line behind the velvet ropes. “Visi’s commcard went inside here” he noted. “We’ll be needing to get in quietly to be keeping an eye on him. Is not to be good to get the attention of Uncute Camellia on her ground.”

Chiaki Bushido frowned. “Akiko Masamune attended meetings here on two separate occasions while I was serving under her” she noted. “There are no viable access points to the building besides the front door.”

“Hmmmm. Xander is saying that Uncute Camellia has powered her door peoples with special wards to be keeping out of snooping heroes…” Yo informed her with a small frown. The thought being considered the hulking doorman carefully “I am thinking we will be needing a distraction…”

Chiaki blinked as a huge decaying man with faintly glowing skin and a ridiculously tiny suit approached the doorman imperiously. “I doubt that finding one will prove problematic…” she noted.

The doorman snorted. “Now what the hell are you supposed to be?” he asked with a chuckle.

“I am the Abyssal Luminosis, and I have acquired adequate trousers” the glowing behemoth announced. “Make way, so that I may devour the heart of the human who sullies my beloved and in turn reign in everlasting darkness!”

“Please… Christina Aguilera tried the same line just last night.” The huge fairy looked the Abyssal up and down. “What, did you mug a midget for that get-up?”

Luminosus trembled, his face twitching in rage, before he suddenly stopped and cocked his head to one side. “Say…” he noted in his heavily accented voice, “that’s a nice belt you’re wearing…”

“…Vile ravisher of the Lost Jewels of Caph…” the absurd looking hat with a rumpled face made up of folds of material announced solemnly from atop Vizh’s head. “…Consort to her Grace, the Duchess of Lake Superior…”

“What’s a consort again?” Trudi whispered.

“It means you’re not royalty yourself, but you get to sleep with royalty” Jenni supplied.

The Wooster twin made an impressed face. “Is there some kind of waiting list for those jobs?”

Urthula ignored the two as she tried to keep the confident look plastered across her glamour-clad face. Inside, however, she was definitely sweating it out as she mentally reviewed the night, looking for confirmation that her date was actually who she had assumed he was. “Vizh” was what he said his friends called him… So now the question was, how much of an abbreviation was that? She had claimed a sacred right of passage into the fairy domain saved only for guests of undeniable importance. A resurrected Visionatus Improbablus qualified… What about the amiable man she had claimed it for?

The sinking feeling set in right after the damned sorting hat was set on the confused man’s head and was asked to tell everyone exactly who he was. Apparently, it was something of a tall order, as the hat had been rattling off titles for the last five minutes. Something to be expected from an illustrious figure like Improbablus, certainly... Unfortunately, so far the titles were all honorary ones from obscure planets involved in the “Transworld Challenge”, something that elicited a self-satisfied smirk from Camellia. That smirk had faded as the titles kept coming, however, and a crowd had gathered around, first whispering, and now politely applauding each new announcement. Rending a hero into little pieces might prove difficult for her as the more fashionable of the city became aware of the celebrity in their midst. Even worse for Camellia, Urthula was holding out hope that “founder of the Improbable College” might still pop up among the titles.

“…Friend of the Kingdom of Sea Monkeys… Friend of the Nation of Badripoor… Founding Fuzzy Bunny and official Champion Mongoose of the Happy Place…”

No help there, certainly. Frankly, it seemed far too silly to be of help to most anyone…

“Headmaster of the Lair Legion Juniors Program… Leader of the League of Regulars… Former leader of the Lair Legion…”

Camellia broke into a darkly triumphant grin as she turned to Urthula. “And that, my dear, answers that…” she hissed over the applause of the crowd.

“…Former Commander in Chief of the United Armed Forces of Earth…” the hat continued, drawing gasps from the crowd. Even Camellia blinked and turned back to hear the remaining list.

“…Vassal to his majesty, King Donar of Ausgard… …Consort to her eminence, the goddess of HTML…”

Urthula held her breath.

“…The great Hindi god Koor Darson, head of the Lair Pantheon...”

Camellia’s face froze in disbelief, and the non-human side of the crowd broke into excited murmurs. Their mundane counterparts applauded with confused politeness, not quite sure what to make of these latest titles. Urthula, however, blinked and grinned ear to ear. Yes, a godhood would do nicely. Screw the Improbable College.

“…and 310th Chronicler of Stories since time immemorial” the hat finally finished with a sigh. “Sheesh… Any more questions?”

The crowd fell into completely stunned silence.

“All that…” Trudi said, breaking the moment, “And they end with some librarian position?”

Urthula shook off her shock next. “So, Camellia…” she cooed sweetly. “Why don’t you send some of your best champagne over to the former member of the Triumvirate’s table, hmmm?” She relished the helpless look of fury in the fairy woman’s eyes. “After all, I’d say his honored status as a person deserving of special attention is established, yes?”

A man stepped out of the crowd, shedding a trenchcoat from his indigo-hued body with graceful ease. “Yes” he agreed, raising a silver-plated handgun with a fluid motion and shooting Visionary squarely in the head.

to be continued...

Post By Visionary pulls an AG and posts less than he intended. Sun Sep 11, 2005 at 10:23:32 pm EDT	Subject Heart of Darkness chapter ten, I believe... "Identity"

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