Tales of the Parodyverse

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This message 'Return of Evil' Part Five... HTML corrected version. AKA read this one. was posted by Messenger on Tuesday, May 7, 2002 at 14:12.



Twilight....

A cool breeze wafts through Off-Central park.

It is the calm before the storm.


In the confines of the park, a man in a blue uniform clutches a machine gun with sweaty palms as he watches over his hostage. The battered teenager, Shane Jackson, struggles against his constraints in vain. The post he is tied to will not give.

He is tied up on a outdoors stage, and before him are lines of red fold-up chairs.

He has been told that he is about to be a part of a new production.

The play should be starting any time tonight.

The end game is near....

And Mailman waits as he holds the gun steady and watches the horizon.

“You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself involved in, boy....” He tells Shane in a raspy voice.

“..... All that matters is that I take you down before I die....” Shane replies.

Mailman laughs and then frowns. “How idealistic. I admire that. It’s something that both Messenger and I have lost in the years past.”

“..... I hope you admire my hands when they strangle the life out of you. And speaking of which, aren’t you supposed to of died years ago?”

The man in the blue uniform raises an eyebrow. “So did Messenger if I’m not mistaken. Die that is. And yet, I’m as alive as he is. I’m as dead as he is. Certainly a mystery there, don’t you think, Shane?”

..... Suddenly the cool breeze that was wafting through the park turns in to harsh winds.

Mailman’s hair flaps against his eyes.

He shields his face with his hand. “What the hell is happening?!” He screams as he looks towards the sky.

Under the orange evening glow of the sunset, a black helicopter hovers, it’s propellor blades spinning as one big blur.

“That’s a Black Hawk.” Mailman grits his teeth as he watches the sky. “Only the Government has access to military choppers like that.”

A black line drops out of the bottom of the chopper. It dangles there for a moment.

Mailman’s brow furrows and his beady eyes narrow even more.

“Well, well......”

A figure in a skintight black suit grabs the rope and slides down it from the sky. He descends gracefully from the chopper and pats down on the ground.

Mailman grins.

“.... It certainly has been a long time....”

The man in the black spandex suit stands. He grimaces. He clutches a large silver plated gun. His eyes are hidden by goggles.

“.... hasn’t it, Messenger.”


“Not long enough.” The Postman bluntly responds. Behind them, the chopper flies away.


Messenger and Mailman stand there facing one another as the wind dies down once again and everything becomes deathly still.

Mailman smiles.

“Let the games begin.”


The Return Of Evil

Part Five: Dead Men



A speeding white van screeches as it turns a corner.


Twenty men in black armored suits sit in it’s confines.

They all clutch massive guns.

They all have their orders.

Ensure Mailman does not kill Messenger.

Subdue Messenger and Mailman after the initial battle wears them both down and bring them back to ‘BlackSun’ HQ in Nevada for further testing.

They keep this in mind as the van makes it’s way towards Off-Central Park.

One of the armored soldiers smiles beneath his jet-black helmet.

“..... We pull this off, men....” He tells his companions.


“..... And NOTHING will be able to halt the Harvest.”


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Best of Enemies....



“Who thought.... Back in 1999 when you ran me through with a sword...” Mailman gestures with spite in his tongue. “..... That we would both be standing here in 2002, ready to destroy one another?”

Messenger looks at Shane Jackson’s beaten form on the stage. He then looks back at Mailman.

“... The only good thing about this situation is I get to kill you twice.”

His words trail off a bit as he notices something out of place.

“Wait a second....” Messenger raises an eyebrow as he studies Mailman’s face.

“.... Y- Y- You’re not scarred.” He says in disbelief. “When I threw you off the LAir Fortress with that bomb attached to you it made dog meat out of your face.... And yet now it’s back to normal....”


Messenger recalls what the interrogated waiter at the coffee shop blurted out:

.... I- I really don’t know anyone who has a scarred--

The waiter was telling the truth. Mailman may have visited the coffee shop, but he didn’t fit the description of a heavily scarred man that the Postman had been asking about.

“How is that possible?” Messenger asks in disbelief.

Mailman smirks. “The return of my boyish good looks? I will tell you. In good time. The answer may be more than you can bear. I am not the only one who has made changes, I see.” He adds, referring to the Messenger’s new attire. “You ditched the trench-coat and joined some Government boys? I never saw you as one to sell out, Zarius.”

“ I sold out to get to you. I needed to know. I needed to see it for myself.... Mailman..... Just how the fuck did you come back, anyway?!

The blue uniformed psychopath chuckles. “ I could ask the same of you.”

Messenger smirks. “Touché.”

“Enough talk.” Mailman points his machine gun at the Messenger’s chest. “... It’s not even funny how long this has been coming.”

.......

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Dark Room....

A loud ‘clack’.

A door swings open.

Blinding white light fills the room.

A figure skitters to the corner.

“NO!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TURN OFF THE LIGHT!!!” He screams as he covers his eyes. “It hurts...”

Three figures appear at the doorway. One walks in.


“Leave us....” The figure tells the other two standing at the doorway. “Shut the door.”

Darkness once again envelopes the room.

“..... I am sorry for that.” The figure tells the trembling man in the corner of the room. “Do not be frightened. The light has gone away. It is dark again.”

“.... The light is gone....?” The man repeats, slowly peeling away his hands and looking up.

“Yes. There is nothing to be scared of. I am here to help you. My name is Dr. Hauser.” The figure pats the man’s shoulder. “There, there, son. What’s your name?”

“J-... J-..... Jay!” The man blurts out.


“Well, Jay. I hope we can become friends.” Dr. Hauser tells him as he pulls up the lone chair in the pitch black room and plops himself on it.

“But you are very sick, Jay.”

“I- ... I am? No, no. No, I’m not. You’re lying!!” Jay screams back.

“No, I am not lying. You are very sick. You have a mental illness. That is why you are here. You believe that a dead man is alive. Doesn’t that strike you as sick?”

“.... I-..... I guess.”

“Who do you think that dead man is...?”

“M-..... M-.... Messenger. But-.... But, he’s alive.”

Dr. Hauser lightly laughs. “See? That is what a sick man would say, Jay. You attended his funeral. You may wish he were alive, but that is your mind playing tricks on you. The Messenger is dead. Once we die, that’s it, Jay. None of us come back.”

“But-.... But-......”

“Your team-mates checked you in here. They were worried about you. They told me you were looking for Messenger in Parodiopolis. Where do you expect to find a dead man?”


“I-...... I don’t know.”

“Do you believe your friend Jarvis is alive as well?”

“....... No.”

“Then why Messenger?”

“..... I.... I just.... Know.”

“How?”

“I forget....”

“You forget?”

“I think I knew once.... I’ve been here for so long, though.... I feel so-.... so weird.”

“When we lose someone we care about, we sometimes have trouble accepting the loss. We may stubbornly believe that they are still alive. This pattern of thinking is very unhealthy, however. You have taken it to the extreme, by actively seeking him out.”

“..... Wha- .... What should I do....?”

“Well, your treatment isn’t done yet. But we hope, some day soon, we can rehabilitate you and return you to your friends in the Lair Legion. Now, do you think Messenger is alive? Be honest with me. Your feelings right now after our talk.”

“...... I realize now..... how sick I was. Messenger is dead.”

“See, you’re already improving and regaining your grasp on reality.” Dr. Hauser stands. “You will be out of here in no time. Well done, Jay. I look forward to our session tomorrow.”

He heads for the door. “Sorry about this. Shut your eyes.”

Jay cowers his head and wraps his arms around his eyes.

A brief flash of light as the Doctor swiftly opens the door, exits, and shuts it behind him.


...............



In the hallway, “Dr. Hauser” lights a cigarette. He takes off a white jacket revealing a SPUD uniform.

“Fuckin’ idiot....” He mutters to his friend.

“Is he starting to crumble?”

“Like a house of cards. Between the mind-altering drugs we keep pumping him full of and the constant mind games we play with him, he’s starting to doubt himself and believe what we say. It really is working. He no longer fights back like he did the first few days.”

“You don’t think this is a bit extreme? It could backfire on us....”

“Extreme? Extreme would of been killing him right then and there when we caught him. No, this is appropriate. If he searches for Messenger, then that will disrupt our entire mission plan. The Messenger must be able to operate freely without looking over his shoulder. Hatman has to believe he’s dead, if we have any chance of stopping the ‘Eighth Day’ Project and ‘BlackSun’ .”

...........

“Whatever you say..... Agent Travis.”


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Off-Central Park....


*BBBRRRAAAAAAAPPP*

Rapid machine gun fire tears apart the grass from beneath Messenger’s feet.

“Cheap, Maily.... That was a cheap move.” He grunts as he flips from side to side.


“No rules in war, old boy!!!” Mailman screams as his gun muzzle flashes. “..... This is our first battle in three years. Let’s make it an epic one!!!”


“Whatever you say......” As Messenger leaps towards Mailman’s chest he sticks out his foot. “..... Jerk.”

*FwACK*

“Ooof...” Mailman stumbles back and his machine gun scatters across the wooden stage.


The Postman now stands on the stage. He is face to face with Mailman.


He reaches in to a holster and whips out his SPUD issue gun, equipped with a laser sight and lethal plasma bursts.

He points it at Mailman’s head.

I WANT THE ANSWERS!! NOW!!!” He screams.


“..... You want the truth.....?”

“What did I just say, fuck-face?! No games, now.”

Mailman smirks as he looks up at the gun barrel which touches his forehead.

“Where would I begin, brother....?”


“You choose.... brother.


“I suppose it would begin with the Crimson Courier then.....”

Messenger swallows hard. He staggers back.

“What....?” He says in shock. “What the hell does my dead clone have to do with this...? Unless you’re looking to give me another reason to kill you, seeing as you took his life way back when.”

Mailman swats away the plasma gun. “You lost your concentration! Big mistake!! To think you actually had a bead on me....” As the gun is lost in the grass below, Messenger flips over Mailman landing behind him. He then places a perfect kick to his opponent’s spine, sending him off the stage.

Mailman rolls across the grass and picks up Messenger’s own plasma gun as he does.

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH COURIER?!?” He screams.

“Everything and at the same time, nothing..... But I don’t think you’re in a position to be demanding anything. Now that I have your gun!” The laser sight falls across Messenger’s chest and Mailman winks as he pulls on the trigger.

‘Click’.

An annoying beeping sound starts ringing out from the gun. On the back of the weapon a message scrolls across a small computer screen reading: ‘Access Denied: Unidentified User’.

“.... I don’t believe this....” Mailman screeches as he tosses the gun aside.

Messenger smiles. “Guess I should have mentioned the fingerprint sensors on the trigger.”

Mailman steps back on the wooden stage.

“.... It doesn’t matter. I’ll rip you apart with my bare hands!!!” Mailman lunges at Messenger and tackles him right off the stage.

..................

They roll across the grass pulling at each other like two angry siblings.

Messenger elbows Mailman in the face as they roll. Mailman punches Messenger in the ribs repeatedly.

“CRIMSON COURIER!!!” Messenger screams. “WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH HIM?!?”

“IT ALL STARTS WITH HIM!! EVERYTHING!!!” Mailman shrieks as he bashes in Messenger’s head with a double fisted punch.

Messenger kicks Mailman off of him and he rolls backwards in to a bush.

The Postman is already pointing his back-up gun at Mailman when he rises.

“You’re dead to rights. And this time I’m not going to give you a chance. Tell me everything...”


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Under the late evening sky, Goldeneyed treads carefully around the back-alleys of ‘Seedy Town’....

“..... Hatman.....” He mutters as he looks in every direction.

“Where are you.....?”


A black crow squawks in the distance.

The black suited Legionnaire feels the hair on the back of his neck stand as footsteps resound behind him.

He whirls around.

“Who’s there?!?” He shouts.

More skittering of feet.

A dog barks. A trash-can falls over somewhere.

I SAID, WHO’S THERE?!?” He screams again.


“.... I suppose I would have to confront you sooner or later.”

A man who looks to be at least seventy (albeit a spry seventy) and dressed in a full SPUD uniform steps out of the shadows of the alley and reveals himself.

He smokes a cigar and carries a plasma gun in his left hand.

“.... My name is Agent Winters. I am a rogue SPUD agent. I have information about your friend.”

“Why should I trust a rogue?!” Goldeneyed inquires as he stares at this odd man.

“.... Because only the rogues are the good guys at SPUD.”


“What?!? SPUD is our friend.”


“SPUD is a spy agency that you and your team-mates know very little about. I had been working with SPUD since World War II. I have seen enough atrocities over the last half century to confirm that SPUD is not solely working in the interest of the U.S government. It merely presents a facade to the outside world, so it’s operations can continue uninterrupted.”

“What do you want with me....?”

“Rather ask yourself....” Winters stocks away his gun. “.... What do you want with me....?”

“Excuse me?”

“..... You look for your friend.” Winters rasps. He looks around nervously. “.... I can give you his location. In return you give me immunity. There is a price on my head. Everyone wants me gone. I know where all the bodies are buried.”

“.... This is insane!! You’re insane!! Drury would never let this crap go on in his own organization.”

“Drury is a puppet!!” Winters shouts. “He is an oblivious pawn who has no real power at SPUD anymore. He doesn’t know half of what goes on in his organization. He has no idea how far SPUD has their hand in the cookie jar....”

He is interrupted by a terrifyingly loud roar.

Newspapers are sweeped away by winds. Alley cats sprint away in terror.

“.... It-.... It’s too late.” Winters whispers. “... They’ve found me.”


...... Suddenly an aircraft appears overhead. Spot-lights are shone over the alley.


Attention....” A speaker booms from the sky. “.... Agent Terrence Winters. You are wanted by the United States government on charges of treason. We are giving you one chance to surrender before we open fire. Drop any weapons you have and lay down on the pavement spread eagle now..... Or you will be terminated.

“.... Is that enough proof for you....?” Winters asks Goldeneyed as he looks upwards.


“Don’t worry.” GE responds. His eyes glow. “... I won’t let them get you.”


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The truth hurts....


“THE TRUTH!!” Messenger repeats as he holds his gun steady. “Now.”

“Fine! I owe ‘BlackSun’ nothing!! They have used me just as ‘Prophetic Genesis’ did all those years ago!! You want to know the truth?! You won’t like it....”

Messenger just glares down his barrel sight.

“Don’t you get it?!?” Mailman chokes back on his words.



“... It’s my fault.” A tear wells up in Mailman’s eye. A very unusual sight for the man Messenger considers his blood enemy. What could be so horrendous that it would make Mailman cry?

“...... It was I who first perfected the technique of cloning, when I created Crimson Courier from your cells back in ‘96. I wanted to destroy you and make you doubt your own identity. It never worked. Crimson Courier died. I died. But, now, years after the fact, ‘BlackSun’ has decided to do what I could never do.”

“What are you saying....?” Messenger asks slowly. “GIVE ME THE ANSWERS!! ALL OF THEM!!”


“.... You ignorant fool! Do you think I know what’s going on?! All I hear are the names of operations. All I know are some details. I can’t give you the answers. I can’t tell you what ‘BlackSun’ is, or what it wishes to accomplish. I can’t tell you what the Harvest is, or why.... they... did.... what... they .... did .... to.... us. All I can tell you is what we are.”

“Mailman, for the love of God, what did they do to us?”

“.... You want to know why my face isn’t scarred? It’s because I’m not really Mailman. The real Mailman is dead. I’m a clone created from his cells, just as the Crimson Courier was created from yours. I have all of his memories. All of his hate for you. Only problem is ..... you’re not you either. You’re a clone as well, “Messenger”. We were both bred on a genetic farm for purposes I can only guess at. Except you escaped..... And once again I was left behind to suffer at the mercies of mad scientists and men I can only describe as evil.”

“.... No..... The Grand-Master..... He-.... He told me.... He-..... NO!!!” Messenger screams waving his gun. “I’M ME!!! I’M ALIVE!!!

“Lies. Grand-Master was nothing but a ‘BlackSun’ puppet. The man was manipulated in to thinking whatever ‘BlackSun’ wanted him to think. You ARE dead. At least the original Messenger is. But ‘Project Lazarus’ is still very real.”

I DON’T BELIEVE YOU, YOU BASTARD!!! YOU WANT ME DEAD!! WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE ONE THING YOU’VE TOLD ME TODAY?!?

“Beneath your shirt, a red light protrudes from under your flesh.”

“How do you know this?!?” Messenger bites his lip.

“..... You may have recalled the Grand-Master informing you that you were the second attempt at Project Lazarus.”


Mailman lifts his shirt. Beneath his stomach a red light flashes.

“..... I was the first.”


TO BE CONTINUED!!


NEXT: SPUD and ‘BlackSun’ meet in the park and an all out war begins.... with Messenger, Mailman and a half-conscious Shane Jackson caught in the middle. Will more light be shed on the truth? Plus, Goldeneyed and the mysterious Agent Winters takes on legions of SPUD agents with orders to kill all those who stand in the way. Two more chapters left... And you better believe that the best is yet to come!

This poster posed from 147.4.194.93 when they posted


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