Posted by Manga Shoggoth on August 02, 2000 at 13:50:40:
Problems. Problems. Problems.
The modern world is chock full of problems.
The active mother has problems finding a baby-sitter...
The professional mother has problems balancing career and home...
The superheroine mother has problems defending herself and her loved ones against her adversaries...
And Lisa Waltz, superheroine, attorney and very definitely an active mother, was suffering the effects of the first law of Sod (a gentleman who, unlike Murphy, was not an optimist).
It had started with work - a series of rather complicated cases had all come to the boil at almost the same time. This coincided with a series of (supposedly) important meetings, followed a series of rumours that the Sisters of the Lash and HERPES had (independently) started plans to kidnap her child.
As icing on the cake, her regular baby-sitter had heard the rumours and come down with diplomatic measles. The various agencies had also heard the rumours and were diplomatically closed.
She was in the middle of bemoaning her fate and wondering what else could go wrong when the phone rang.
"Hello, Lisa Waltz speaking..."
A faint voice replied, amplified and distorted by the effects of a world-class communications system back-ended by a very long transatlantic cable and the GPO.
"Hi Doody-head! It's Meeee!."
"Oh, it's you, Asil."
The voice on the other end started on an excited query about the state of her "nephew". As Lisa tried to get a word in edgeways (like fish-slice) a thought occurred.
"Why don't you come over and see him - I need a baby-sitter tonight."
There was a stunned silence.
"Yes Asil. I know you're in London. That didn't stop you turning up at the birth within a couple of hours."
There followed the faint sounds of a quick discussion on the other end of the phone. Lisa then heard a new voice on the line.
"Miss Waltz, I am afraid that Miss Ashling is rather busy over here. If you were to explain the problem, perhaps I may be of help in finding a solution?"
Lisa explained. Sir Mumphry listened sympathetically.
"I think I know of someone who might be prepared to help.", he said. "With your permission?".
"You know of a baby-sitter in Paradopolis?", she asked, somewhat impressed.
"Not exactly in Paradopolis...", he replied.
In his office in Central London, Sir Mumphry Wilton was working late. Asil had been taking advantage of this to use the secretary's prerogative (use the company phone for personal calls).
Mumphry put the phone down, and stared into space for a moment. He then took the Chronometer of Infinity and placed it on the desk next to the phone, and began to dial.
Asil stared at him.
"You're not seriously..."
"No.", he replied. "For all its good points, the Shoggoth is not perhaps the best choice for a baby-sitter, however..."
The phone was answered at the other end.
"Hello?".
Asil gave Mumphry a quizzical look. The Shoggoth was not what one could call vocal, and certainly did not have a female voice quite like this one.
"Ah, Miss Ebony. I was wondering... Would you be free to do me a small favour tonight?"
Lisa did not know exactly what to expect when she answered the door. She had assumed that Mumphry had contacted an agency and applied some of the English Charm that he seemed to carry around like a cloak.
She was very surprised to see a tall dark-skinned woman wearing a flowing white robe, held closed with an ornate belt. The design on the belt clasp was, well, strange. It did, however, match the pendant she was wearing. At the centre of the belt clasp was what appeared to be a large black pearl. The item in the centre of the pendant looked nothing like a pearl, and when Lisa looked at it, it gave her a faint sense of unease.
"Um...", she started, rather at a loss for words.
"Good evening.", the woman responded. "I am Ebony. Sir Mumphry Wilton asked me to pay you a visit - something about baby-sitting?"
Lisa managed to gain control of her tongue again.
"Hello, Ebony. I'm Lisa Waltz. Come right in."
Outside, two groups were forming up.
The Sisters of the Lash and HERPES had dispatched two squads (that is, one each) to snatch the baby in Lisa's absence. Covert surveillance had shown a new baby-sitter was in place and that Lisa had left for yet another interminable meeting.
In both cases, one member was to find and secure the baby, the others were to "neutralise" the baby-sitter, just in case.
The HERPES squad attempted to break in through the back. The Sisters of the Lash opted for a more frontal assault. Neither knew of the others presence. Not that it would have made any difference if they had.
Sister Lasshe, a member of the Sisterhood since an unfortunate orphaning, stood outside the baby's bedroom. She listened carefully, but heard nothing but the light snores of a child, punctuated by a brief whimper.
Slowly, she opened the door and crept into the bedroom. Against one of the walls sat the cot where the baby (her target, she reminded herself) slept.
She really didn't like this. She had never really recovered from losing her parents (and the Sisters were not exactly long on kindness to children), and did not like the idea of stealing a child from its mother. The alternative for her, however, was rather painful, and likely to be terminal. But not for a long time - the Sisters were not long on mercy either.
She slowly felt her way across the room, and reached down to pick up the baby.
And stopped.
"No.", she said quietly. She might be as good as damned, but she was not going to drag an innocent child with her. She stepped back from the cot...
From outside the room, there could be heard a faint whimper.
Meanwhile, downstairs...
The main body of both squads burst into the main room (respectively via the hallway and kitchens) and announced their presence with a bold cry of "Don't move! You're at the mercy of HERPES/The Sisters of the Lash!" (delete as applicable). They then immediately turned on each other.
The result was a foregone conclusion. A whip may be a formidable weapon, but it does not have quite the range of a gun.
The leader of the HERPES squad allowed himself a smile at his brief opponents, and then turned to face the baby-sitter.
"(Ahem) Don't move! You're at the mercy of...", he began.
The baby-sitter, who had spent this time quietly reading a book, stood and faced him with a slight smile. The sort of smile that one wears when they are the only person who knows the joke. She was wearing some strange sort of pendant, which appeared to be glowing. There appeared to be a large pearl in the middle of it, and it seemed to be growing...
"...oh shi...", he finished.
Five globules of protoplasm flew out from the pendant. Four of them engulfed the HERPES squad, the fifth flowed around the room, repairing bullet-holes, mopping up blood and tidying up the remains of the Sisters of the Lash.
They flowed into one and then resumed its position on the pendant.
"Thank you, C'thandra.", said Ebony, returning to her book.
The remainder of the evening passed quietly. Lisa returned from her meeting with Visionary in tow, and was surprised to find the house in good order. No signs of trouble, and her baby sleeping the sleep of the innocent.
"Any trouble?", she asked as Ebony prepared to leave.
"Not a thing.", Ebony replied. "I think he's been asleep all evening.".
"You know,", said Lisa to Visionary as she closed the door, "I didn't know what to expect from Sir Mumphry. She seems to have worked out OK."
"It could have been worse,", Visionary agreed. "With his connections He could have asked the Manga Shoggoth to help out."
They spent an hour discussing the aftermath of the meeting, after which Visionary went home to his wife.
The rumours had obviously come to nothing.
She slowly awoke. This was unusual - it was light, and those of the Sisters who were still asleep at first light tended to be roused on the tip of a whip. Given the peace and quiet, she was tempted to lie quiet for a while - a luxury she had not known for many years.
There was a noise beside her. That had her leaping (somewhat drowsily) to her feet, screaming "I'm awake, Mother Superior, I'm awake!", hoping to avoid...
A few things penetrated: She was not leaping out of a hard cot in a cold cell. She had just landed on sand, not flagstones. Most telling of all, she appeared to be surrounded by a tropical beach. She was fairly sure that the Sisters of the Lash were not hot on tropical beaches either.
She looked round. She was sprawled in the sand under the shade of a large palm tree. She picked herself up and started to brush down her habit, only to notice that it had been replaced by a light linen robe.
"Mother Superior?", a voice answered. "I don't think she will be listed amongst your problems any more. May I ask, how would you like to be called?"
Sister Lasshe looked at the speaker - a dusky woman attired in a flowing white robe.
"Sister Las..".
She stopped and thought. After a moment, she dredged up a long forgotten name.
"Kathryn,", she said. "I am called Kathryn."
And Ebony, High Priestess of the Cult of the Shoggoth, welcomed another person to the Refuge.
Authors Notes:
The previous Manga Shoggoth stories are archived on my website as follows: