Somewhere in New England...

Dr. Moo worked ceaselessly in her bovine laboratory working on a plot to make the BZLers stop nagging Lisa about writing something, not realizing that she had already failed and Lisa had actually written something. Moo, the cruel and selfish cow trhat she was, was not doing this out of the goodness of her non-existant heart. She was doing it so that she could enslave her younger sibling and force to toil endlessly editing Dr. Moo prose.

"What can I do to those happless BZLers that they haven’t already done to themselves," Moo mused out loud, while consuming a bunny and whipped cream sandwhich.

Of course, it would help if I knew what they’d already done to themselves this week," Moo sighed. The travails of being a villainess with a career. On the upside she had seen a lot of cows this week.

But the deadline was rapidly approaching, it was the 13^th and still no sign of edited prose, so Moo needed to think of something trully horrendously evil to do to the BZLers.

Unfortunately, Moo was exhausted form travelling the north country visiting cows. Tommorrow, she promised herself. Tommorrow, if I don’t get my edited prose, I will do something incredibly evil to the BZLer’s. Or even if I do get my edited prose...after all I am a villain... evil moooing fades into the distance...

Moo yawned and stretched. It was a beautiful, if a bit brisk, New England morning. Moo sat up and started counting noses. Theodore, Cody, Nick, Killian, Jon-Tom...well that was five of them. The other three were probably catching bunnies for breakfast.

Wandering around her secret laboratory/home Moo went through her usually morning routine - get up, dressed, brush theeth, shower, plan how to corner the world’s market in dairy products and destroy the manufacturers of non-dairy whipped toppings..., before sitting down to check her e-mail. Moo had been in a relatively good moo-d before but when she arose form her computer she was seething. NO edited text! THe BZLer’s and Lisa must paid and pay (in cash as Moo does accept either Visa, Mastercard or American Express).

FIrst things first, Moo thought with determined viscousness. She disappeared in a cloud of powdered milk only to repear in Lisa and Jarvis’ quarters.

"Tremble in fear, younger sibling. FOr I, Moo have come to..." Lisa wasn’t paying attention. TO Moo anyway. Moo tapped one polished cloven hoof on the floor and cleared her throat. "Ahem." Still no response.

Moo gathered herself up and summoned her ability to make anyone crave real dairy products.

Jarvis suddenly sat up, disengaged himself from Lisa’s embrace and wandered out towards the kitchen muttering, "Got Milk?"

Lisa sat up indignantly. "Hey, I wasn’t through with that... er... him."

"Tough titties, you also didn’t edit my story. Porabably didn’t even read it."

"Well," Lisa whined pathetically, "I’ve been REALLY busy."

Moo glanced in the direction, Jarvis had gone. "I can see that," she replied sardonically.

"No, really," Lisa insisted, "Carrington finally forced me to write a parody and, the kids all had the flu, well, I’ve had other problems..."

"Sheesh," Moo said in exasperation, "I go away for a couple of days to see some friends and you just go to pieces."

Lisa shrugged.

"Well, regardless or irregardless, or whatever is the proper word..."

"Anyway?" Lisa suggested sweetly.

"ANYWAY," Moo bellowed irritated. "I’m going to have to do something hideously horrible to you and the BZLers."

"Like what haven’t they already done to themselves," Lisa asked sarcastically.

"Like..." Moo paused ominously. "sabotage your parodyverse-linking device (i.e her computer) so that you can’t reach the Parodyverse and are trapped in the mundane world forever!" Evil mooing cresendos...

"No," Lisa screams, "Anything but that!"

Both Lisa and Moo disapear in a cloud powdered milk.

Lisa sat grumpily editing text, while Moo blew her nose for the umpteenth time.

"Okay, okay, I’m editing. So when are you going to fix my parodyverse linking device?" the luscious legal eagle asked.

"As soon as I feel better," Moo said and then sneezed.

"It’s not my fault you caught a cold from rubbing noses with a bunch of cows," Lisa grumbled.

"I didn’t caught cold from a cow. Cows don’t get colds," Moo retorted and then sniffled.

"Oh, really? Then why do you have a cold?"

"Because I’m not really a cow," Moo snapped, "I just play one in the Parodyverse."

Lisa decided, wisely, that it was time to change the subject. "So what are you going to do to the BZLers?"

Moo sighed. "They’ve already done all the good stuff to themselves."

"Oh, c’mon Moo," Lisa said encouragingly. "I’m sure you can think of SOMETHING."

Moo gave her a suspicious look. "I thought you where on their side."

Lisa shrugged. "Blood is thicker than water... but not as thick as cool whip..." She looked speculatively towards Moo’s bedroom.

"Oh no you don’t," Moo snarled. "You’re not going anywhere near my boys with that foul stuff."

Lisa tried to look innocent.

"I suppose," Moo speculated. "I could make members of the US government. I worked for the feds for five years and it was a REAL nightmare."

"But would it be funny?" Lisa asked.

"Given what’s going on in Washington these days it would probably be quite farcical."

"If you make Jarvis president can I be an intern?" Lisa asked, now clearly intrigued.

"I’ll think about it," Moo promised and then sneezed again. "But right now I’m to take some Nyquil™ and go back to bed."

"What about my parody-linking device?" Lisa asked, now annoyed.

"Are finished editing my story?"

"Well...not exactly."

"Wake me up when you do and I’ll think about it," Moo yawned. Cold medicine always made her groggy.

Lisa’s response wasn’t printable. Or anatomically feasible.

Having totally failed, despite massive and suprisingly successful attempts to sabotage the Parodyverse, to intimidate or coherse the lovely Lisa into editing her fiendishly evil prose, the diabolical Dr. Moo must now come up with a new motivation and plot line or slink back into the shadows to lurk and sulk.

"How about I try to intimindate or coherse you into visitng my laboratory of bovine evil?" Moo suggested idly, while eating Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream.

"Don’t be silly," Lisa, looking lovely and legal in a new red suit, replied, "You already made my plane reservations and they are non-refundable so what’s to intimidate or coherse?"

"Well, I need a reason to be evil don’t I?" Moo asked grumpily.

"Why?" Lisa responded, spooning more hot fudge and cool whip on her ice cream.

"Well," Moo muttered, frowning at the non-dairy whipped topping her sibling was consuming - how had that gotten in here? "I suppose I could just be wicked and evil for being wicked and evil’s sake but I still need a new plot line."

"Really? Lack of a plot line never stopped anyone around here before," Lisa retorted.

"True," Moo admitted reluctantly. "I suppose I’ll just have to wing it."

"Either that or admit defeat," the parodyverse’s favorite nympomaniac replied.

"Don’t tempt me," Moo muttered finishing her ice cream.