Posted by Dancer is soooooo happy to have things back the way they should be on these message thingies. i could just go on and on and on and on and on about it. And on :-) on September 11, 2001 at 05:45:37:
[The Scene: the Killer Moth Home
for Clapped Out Super-Villains, in lovely upstate Paradopolis]
Dancer: Hi there! I’m Dancer, and I’m here with my friends today to highlight
the plight of clapped out supervillains everywhere.
Chronic: Er. Why am I here?
Dancer: People never think about what happens to people after the origin is
old-hat and the costume looks embarrasingly dated.
Chronic: I mean, I’m not clapped out, am I?
Nats: I was once embarrassingly dated…
Dancer: But a supervillain is for life, not just for #1.
Nats: …But we both found out the other was a man just in time…
Chronic: I mean, I’m cutting edge. I have a trenchcoat and attitude.
Dynamite Boy: I guess some costumes don’t age well. Anything with afros, love
beads, mohawks or kneepads look sucky really. Or anything Nats wears.
Dancer: Take Professor Zimmer here, inventor of the nuclear-capable walking
frame. Hello, Professor.
Nats: Since then I’ve always gone on dates with a little tag-badge, just in
case.
Trickshot: My advice to Nats is take an inflatable woman as well.
Professor Zimmer: You’ll have to speak up, young lady. Young people do mumble
so these days.
Nats: Oh, nice advice from the guy who invented the exploding suet-filled
condom arrow.
Chronic: I have all kinds of stories still to tell about me. I still haven’t
finished that one ManMan started in the impossible-to-follow prose style.
Dynamite Boy: Professor Zimmer invented the exploding suet-filled condom
arrow? I thought he came up with the nuclear-capable walking frame?
Dancer, speaking up: I SAID “TAKE PROFESSOR ZIMMER.”
Professor Zimmer: Take me where? Is it time to change my colostomy bag?
Trickshot: Yeah, that’s my favourite way of dealing with these old feeb
supervillains. Pull out their catheters.
Dynamite Boy: Eeew.
Dancer (glaring at Trickshot): Professor Zimmer was once a successful major
villain in his younger days. He conquered the world almost weekly. He had
minions. He had self-respect. What is to become of him now, in his twilight
years of villainy?
Chronic: Well, from what I heard, last time he tried to rob a bank Messenger
kicked his walking stick away from him.
Dancer: Exactly! And now here he is, after a lifetime of making superheroes
look good, alone and feeble and with nowhere to go except the Killer Moth Home
for Clapped Out Supervillains. So I say to all you viewers at home…
Trickshot: Support the death penalty?
Nats: This is live? Now?
Dynamite Boy: Hi mum!
Dancer: …Please give generously. Thank you for listening. *goes and breaks a
fight up between the boys*